Seven Years Strong

Today my husband and I celebrate 7 years of marriage. In that time we've seen many friends get married and then far too many divorce. People have their reasons for separating but likewise, he and I have our reasons for staying together.

Before I go on, our marriage is far from perfect,  but we do try to live according to the marriage God has put together and continues to bless.

First off, we don't consider divorce an option. We are solely committed to each other and the vows we made to God. We try to keep him the center of our marriage and that helps to keep our marriage centered on what it should be. Our thought on the matter is that if one of us leaves, it's because the Lord has called that person home.

Secondly, we try to make the other feel appreciated. A lot of divorced couples use that as a reason...they feel under appreciated. Marriage takes work. It's not something that just magically takes care of itself. You have to be in it...all in.

Thirdly, we pray for each other. We know that temptation is out there. The grass always looks greener, especially when things are a little rough at home. Praying for your spouse through the good AND bad times makes a huge difference.

Finally (there is so much more but for the sake if time), we tell each other how much we truly love the other. We don't throw that phrase around. We mean what we say. We give compliments and words of encouragement when we can. It's so important to affirm the other person.

Like I said, we have our faults and our flaws but we truly love one another. We truly want Christ in our marriage and we want others to see His blessings in our lives. It's not always easy but it's worth it. Besides, we set the example of what our children will look for in their own relationships. We want to know that we are showing them the right things.

Linking up for Mommy Moments

The Hand That Holds Mine

When I look at the hand that holds mine, my heart often skips a beat. It's rough and slightly calloused from hard work and helping others. It is gentle and calming in the midst of fear and uncertainty. It is secure when everything around me seems to be falling apart. 

That hand belongs to the man that God gifted to me. A man so strong in his faith that he does not waver. He is a man who provides for his family and yet tends to the needs of others with just as much love. He is a man who shows his children how Christ calls men to father and love their wives. He proves that God can use imperfections to further His kingdom. 

He is the man who has walked me through our battles with infertility. He is the one who speaks words of love and encouragement when I think "I can't." He is the one the Lord hand picked just for me. 

At the end of this month we will celebrate 7 years of marriage. These 7 years have included arguements, making up, job changes, infertility, children, a house, births and deaths and a whole lot of memories. I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together. I meant what I said when I took those vows and the hand I held then is the hand I hold now and it is the hand I hope to hold the rest of my life.

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Linking up with Waiting on Wednesday
and
Mommy Moments

5 Reasons I Love...

Our Little Girl

There are so many things that I absolutely adore about our little gal. I thought I’d take this month of love to hone in on a few specific things that I love about some of the people in my life. I thought it only appropriate to start with the one thing that has changed me in ways I never expected, has made me a better person, and captivates me every day.  She is my heart’s song.

[Miracles Happen]

One of the most special things that I love about our daughter is the fact that she is such a special miracle for our family. In the midst of battling infertility, God granted us victory with the conception and birth of our beautiful babe. I count myself blessed daily to be her mother.

Family pictures
May 2013

[Baby Blues]

When I first learned that I was pregnant, I began dreaming about what our child would look like. When I learned that we were having a girl my imagination really began to roam. I secretly wished for the following: my red hair, my blue eyes, her daddy’s eyelashes and her daddy’s dimples. Don’t get me wrong, my prayer was constantly for a healthy and whole baby. But alas, the Lord far exceeded our expectations. It was as if she was custom designed based on my secret requests.

[Handy Helper]

I can already see so much kindness and the presence of a servant’s heart developing in our little one. While we will all battle the egocentric personalities of our toddlers from time to time, I adore the wonderful things I am seeing. She willingly wants to help pick up her toys and help with laundry. We’ve been told by her sitter and nursery workers that she is such a big helper. She loves to give the babies their pacifiers and toys. She wants to make sure everyone has what they need. She is also developing some great manners. She asks for things by saying “please” and ends with “thank you”. She is beginning to learn how to pray and to hear her sweet little mouth say the name of Jesus and amen always melts my heart. I hope we can help her develop these beautiful character traits and habits as she grows.

[Sweet Snuggles]

Those moments of snuggle time are my favorite. I love it when she asks for Bella, Mo-Mo and her blanket. It’s at those moments that I know she’s ready to refuel her little love tank. We sit in the chair and rock or cuddle on the couch. I’ll never get enough...and neither will daddy.

[X’s and O’s]

While I’m sure most mothers feel this way, I truly believe that my little girl gives the best hugs and kisses. Her hugs are firm and so warm. I love the feeling of her tiny little hands around my neck…and her kisses! Oh her kisses! Sometimes she’ll take our faces into her tiny little hands and just plant one. She’ll give sweet kisses before bed and loves to get plenty from mommy and daddy throughout the day. She keeps us laughing and on our toes and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Linking up for Oh Hey Friday! and Five on Friday

Shout Out

June 2014

So there is this guy...he's humble, optimistic,  generous and selfless. He provides for his family, risks his life to save others and willingly rocks his little one to sleep.

This same guy loves the Lord. He is instilling that love in his daughter and he leads by example. He has a heart of service and doesn't think twice about helping those in need.

He is honorable, compassionate and empathetic. Even so, he is strong, courageous and determined. He is a leader both in life and in his home.

This very same guy was designed and chosen by my gracious God to be my husband and a wonderful father to our children.  With all that life has thrown us, especially lately, he proves over and over again that true love exists. His selflessness and thoughtfulness abound. I don't think he realizes how much it means when he takes it upon himself to tend to G or have the house cleaned before I get home. The times that he has dinner ready despite what day I've had melts my heart. God broke the mold with this one...and I'm so grateful that he's the one I get to spend my life with.

October 2008

Linking up with Annie

Thoughts for Thursday

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I had something completely different prepared for today, but last night my heart was led in another direction. I was reading through the end of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I suddenly had to pause as my eyes soaked in this verse...

"I will bless you...and you will be a blessing."

Genesis 12:2 (emphasis mine)

Today I'll be saying goodbye to my sweet summer and begin the tasks of a teacher once again. This summer has been filled with odds and ends, both family and work related, and while there were some long days, these last couple of months have gone by in the blink of an eye. Suddenly the fact that life is truly but a vapor made a solid connection with my heart. I got to thinking (which isn't that what Thoughts for Thursday is all about?) about the immeasurable blessings that I have received, not just over the last couple of months, but years, and then daily. Every day I am blessed to an incomprehensible degree.  

Just take a look...

A best friend who'll run after my dreams with me...

I get to be married to the man who truly is my best friend, the love of my life and a dream come true.

A little red haired, blue eyed itty bitty to call my own.

A beautiful family

Generations of strength and support

A God-art sky

A job I love!

Of course there is not enough screen space in the world to capture all that I'd love to share. I can't overlook my amazing church family or the other friends that we hold so closely to our hearts. These things don't even scratch the surface.

In One Thousand Gifts she goes into detail as to how we are given all blessings in order to be blessings for others. We are to empty ourselves in order to fill others...and yet, in doing so with the love of Christ, we will never feel depleted. God continually restores us...even in the midst of wait and heartache. He willingly fills our lives so that we can then pour out His love to others. Every act of service is testament to God's goodness in our lives. The joy found in our service to others can be found in simple tasks...even the things we do without thinking such as wiping a snotty nose, washing dishes, opening a door for another, bringing a meal to a shut-in...the list is endless. There are numerous ways everyday that we can pour ourselves into others. While not everyone will appreciate our service, God takes note. It pleases Him to see His children "spread the love."

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We're only given today and we have ample opportunities to make the most out of what may seem the mundane. I challenge you, along with myself, to selflessly pour yourself out. Bring your reservations to the feet of Jesus and take advantage of the opportunities presented to you to bring some goodness into the life of someone else. Make it a family affair. Teach your children the truth behind less is more and the joy that comes from giving. Change starts here. How will you be a blessing today?

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Linking up with Annie and Natalie for this week's Thoughts on Thursday.



5 Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before the Vows

With so many new marriages and some on the horizon, I've been thinking back to my own wedding and marriage. Before marriage we participated in premarital counseling with our pastor. I highly recommend premarital counseling prior to saying "I do." You will learn so much!

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Regardless if you go through premarital counseling or not, there are a few topics that every couple should discuss in detail prior to tying the knot. I'll be honest, some of these are not easy and some can become down right uncomfortable,  but remember,  it's necessary. Even if you don't have all the answers at the time, you will have at least had the conversation. Here are a few items that both my husband and I saw as important and helpful to discuss prior to getting married.

1. Finances. Yuck. Money can be the root of some serious problems in your marriage if not discussed ahead of time. Decide if you'll keep separate accounts, joint accounts etc. Discuss having both names being placed on separate accounts if you choose to go that route.  In the event of an emergency you want your spouse to have access to the funds. Discuss a budget and how bills will be paid. Of course there are oodles of other related items but these are some of the high spots.

2. Children. This is a big one. Knowing that I wanted a large family predetermined the type of response I would need from my future spouse. Fortunately the Lord blessed me with a man who not only loves children but would like a good sized family as well. Children are not necessarily for everyone.  If you long to have kids but your future spouse is adamant about not wanting children, you need to consider how that will impact your marriage...and it will. The number of kids isn't necessarily important. You'll figure that out as you go.

3. Discipline. If you plan on having children or will be bringing kids into the marriage,  discuss how you both view discipline.  My husband and I have similar views on discipline but due to certain things in my past and related experiences, my views slightly differ. We decided on a plan that appears to be working for us thus far.

4. Holidays. Combining two families with their own traditions on top of trying to start your own can be a major juggling act...especially if you've never considered how you'd make it work. I've learned that while you want to remain respectful and considerate, you can't let the dream traditions you have for you own little family be cast aside. Compromise is going to be huge with this one. Don't be surprised if feelings are hurt at first. Life will go on. Also note that while yes, you can adjust as the years go on, do remember your first round of holidays after marriage begin to set the expectations for later gatherings...just saying.

5. Personal Expectations. Talk about what you wish for your marriage. There may be things you don't see eye to eye on and it will be important to know what these things are. Be realistic in your expectations for your marriage and of the other person. Also talk about dreams that you have. This can be a particularly fun conversation.  My husband and I never tire of talking about hopes and dreams we have for our family.

I hope you'll consider having these conversations. Marriage is meant to be forever. Handle it with care.

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Go To What You Know

This week has held a lot of highs and lows for me on a personal level. In venting to my amazing (and I can't stress that enough) best bud, I was given some advice. I know she will be rolling her eyes because of her humble heart when I say this, but she is truly a source of reason and sensibility. I never face judgment and I always hear truth. Tonight's tidbit?  "Go to what you know..."

 

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Sitting here alone this evening, I've had a little bit of time to reflect on those five words. With what has been on my heart and mind these past few days, it just seems timely and completely appropriate that I focus on what I know as reminders to get me through these moments. This is not an exhaustive list but it is a place to start...It is my hope that you'll find encouragement, just as I have, through the power and truth of God's Holy Word.

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-His mercies are new. Whatever short comings I face today (and I admit this week has been filled with many mommy fails, wife fails, friend fails, etc.) His love and mercy endures. He finds me where I am and will not leave me there to wander.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail. They are new every

morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lam. 3:22-23

-This too shall pass. The things that I'm facing today, tomorrow, haunts from yesterday...all of them are fleeting. They are moments in my life that God can use to mold me. They are also moments that I can use to glorify God, build my testimony and deepen my faith.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Cor. 4:17-18

-There is victory. Regardless of disappointments, short comings, and the like, there is victory in Jesus.

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Cor. 15:57

-I am blessed beyond measure, even when my heart hurts.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.

Jer. 17:7-8

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matt. 5:4

 

 

-His timing is perfect.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ps. 37:4

 

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A Little Southern Comfort...coming to an end

Our trip to see my family was such a blessing and while the time passed far to quickly,  I've treasured every moment. To a lot of you I'm sure these last few posts have been mundane, after all our trip wasn't to Paris or Africa or Disney World...but to me, going home to see those I love and haven't seen in such a long time is far better.

Our last day was filled celebrating Father's Day.

We began the morning with one of my hubby's favorite breakfasts. He has a major thing for my mom's breakfast casserole and of course, what her favorite (only) son - in- law wants, he gets.

Later that day I snagged my little sister and we ran to the store to by the ingredients for C's Father's Day dessert...More on that later.

After making the dessert we all sat down and went through some old photos from my childhood.  It was fun to see how G is finally starting to look a little like me. Mom gave me some more info about our family and for the first time I got to see what my biological grandmother and great grandmother looked like (my mom was adopted). It was such a neat experience.

We also reflected on fond memories of my dad and grandpa. Dad passed very unexpectedly on my birthday in April 2012. His dad, my grandpa, passed later that year in October.  Needless to say they are loved and missed every day.

It is with great joy however that I get to celebrate my husband.  Not only is he a wonderful blessing and one of the most humble and Christ-centered men you'll ever meet, he is also a phenomenal dad. He loves our little girl with such a  fierceness.  He is protective, playful and provides so much love to our precious miracle. My heart melts every time I see them interacting. God has blessed G with such an amazing daddy.

April 20 1-3 catching a nap on the afternoon she was born

We ended our day of celebrating with dinner at his favorite restaurant and some family pictures.

We then came home to enjoy my Snickers version of this Ice Cream Sandwich Cake. Yum!

(I used fudge, Caramel, peanuts and chopped up Snicker bars in the middle layer and on top.)

Bright and early the next morning we headed back. We did the full trip and, with much rejoicing,  arrived home without incident. The Lord has been good indeed.

If you missed any part of this road trip adventure,  you can get caught up here.

Raising Royalty

From an early age I was taught that I was a "princess". Not in the "wear a crown and have your own way" sense, but in the Princess of the King sense.

"The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ..."

Romans 8:16-17a

 

It didn't sink in until I was older what that meant. It means that I am cherished and beautiful and priceless in the eyes of my Savior. He made me with purpose. He desires that I glorify Him in all that I do and that I love others into the Kingdom. Just as any princess, I have a great task before me, none of which I go about alone. Just as the King reigns His Kingdom, so does He reign my heart.

 

"Hanki Doll"

These truths have been at the forefront of my mind since last week. I received a pretty package in the mail (I do love brown paper packages tied up with strings...or in this case, a pink bow.) I opened the box to reveal its contents. Inside I found an adorable little hat, a beautiful gift for G and a card that still brings tears to my eyes.

 

G wearing her new hat

These precious gifts were sent to us by our dear friend, Kelly. Our friendship began the summer of 2004. I answered God's call to work at a Christian camp tucked in the Blue Ridge mountains of Virginia. At the time, Kelly and her husband were part of the management staff of the camp. I adored Kelly's up beat personality and her love for the Lord was contagious. She shared many God given gifts and talents with me over that summer, but the most important one that she shared was that of her daughter, Sarah Ann. Talk about a beautiful little girl. She had "God's Masterpiece" written all over her. To look at her sparsely toothed grin and her glittery eyes, you'd think she was just like any other little one. Unfortunately, Sarah Ann was battling cancer. At just 10 months old she was diagnosed and spent the next year battling the earthly fight. I watched through pictures as she grew bigger and more beautiful, but weaker as the months went by.

 

In January 2005, I received the call saying that Sarah Ann had gone Home. A beautiful princess went to be with her King. I remember answering the phone, but could not tell you who called. I remember sitting in the living room chair and crying, grateful that her fight had ended but devastated over her family's loss. The tears were, and still are bittersweet. I remain in awe at how such a little life could touch the world in so many ways. Her legacy lives on through her family as they continue to use their testimonies that were furthered by her life.

 

She also left her mark on us. C and I knew she was the one we wanted to be our flower girl, and when the time to nail down details for the wedding came to pass, we knew that there was not a one that we would rather have in her place. We decided not to have a flower girl, but instead honor her memory on our wedding day. That picture still remains framed and sits prominently on our bookshelf next to one of our favorite pictures of G.

 

 

I write all of this because, as I've reflected on the  amount of love and commitment that her family poured into her in just a short time here, I, too, long to provide the same for my daughter. On February 19th, G turned 10 months old. What would I do if I received that kind of news at her tender age?  I've learned, among many things, that one of the most powerful things about the love we have for our children is the part of that love that allows us to let them go. I'm reminded that our children are entrusted to us, not for keeps, but to grow them up as fruitful, loving, passionate victors for Christ.

G loves playing with her "hanki doll"

 

As G grows, it is my #1 goal to raise her to love the Lord. I want her to want to know Him. I want her to rest in His presence and live undoubtedly loved. As Kelly and her husband continue to raise their two boys, I remain in awe of their courage, faith and dedication to His service.

 

It's hard to believe that Sarah Ann has been dancing on the streets of gold for 9 years now. How amazing that must be. I imagine her painting pictures and hanging them up for all to see. I imagine her singing the songs of praise taught to her by her parents. I know that she is in good hands and those same hands are the ones that continue to guide us here. Those are the same hands that cradle and protect our daughter as she grows in this sin laden world. For that I rejoice. For Sarah Ann's life and her home with Jesus, I rejoice.

 

The other day, Kelly posted this verse:

 

 

May we never forget to live in this way. I pray that you will hold your little ones a little longer and seek to raise them in a way that will honor the Lord. Teach them to love the Lord, love others, and love themselves...we are in fact raising royalty.
 

 

To learn more about the life of Sarah Ann and her family's testimony, please visit their Family Web Page. God is good and His love is a priceless gift that we can pass down to our children. It is the greatest gift we can give.

 

Why It Works: 5 Must Haves in a Good Marriage

A picture from our anniversary session celebrating three years!
Big thanks to Shay White Photography

Prior to getting married we were given ample amounts of "advice". I remember someone telling us that the first 3 years of marriage will either make or break us...really? Looking back now, I wish I would have had the sense to have a conversation with that person. 3 years? Other people have said "the first year will be the hardest" or "watch out for the seven year itch"...don't those sentiments warm you all over? While my husband and I have only been married 5 years (which I hope is just a drop in the bucket of many, many years), we've lately been discussing what we feel makes our marriage work. We've watched many couples who have maintained beautifully blessed marriages and we believe we've tapped into some of the most foundational.

1: The Lord is our foundation. C and I were both Christians prior to ever knowing one another. In fact, it was our love of Christ and our love of children and the great outdoors that brought us together. We met at a Christian summer camp where we both were counselors. We were able to get to know one another without any pressure. In fact, when you work at a summer camp, it's likely the other person will often get to see you at your stinky, dirty, exhausted worst. As a dating couple, and continuing on through our marriage, we remain adamant that Christ stay the center of our relationship. He is Who brought us together and He is Who will keep us together.

2: Divorce. Say what?! Divorce is not an option. In fact it is not even in our vocabulary. Leaving is not a choice. Quitting will never be the answer. It is not used as a threat when life gets angry or hard. While divorce is often the end result as evidenced by The American Psychological Association and its reported 40-50% marriage failure rate, we refuse to become part of that statistic. As a child of divorce, I know the impact a failed relationship has on the children and all involved. We have made "until death do us part" the objective of our marriage, and while we pass no judgment on those who choose this option for whatever the reason, we also believe that God is bigger than anything we are facing. We also know that He can make beauty from ashes and we can have redemption through His grace in our circumstances, no matter what choice is made.

3: Dating. As a new, young couple, we had a distant dating relationship. While he lived in Virginia, I was away at college in Alabama. Over 500 miles separated us. We didn't really have the opportunity to date in the traditional sense. So...when we got married in 2008, we decided to make up for lost time, we'd spend the rest of our lives "dating" one another. This concept has become more challenging since the birth of  our daughter last Spring, but we still aim to keep it a part of our marital life. Our dates may consist of dinner and a movie or a night in with pizza by candle light. We used to take romantic weekend trips and hope to get back to that again soon. Dating does not have to be expensive or luxurious. It can be just as romantic and spontaneous without any major cost. Some of our favorite dates are picnics at some of our favorite outdoor locations, hikes, and revisiting areas that hold special memories for us.

4: Little things. Don't neglect the little things. I can't begin to describe how happy my heart gets when I come home after a long day to find the dishes washed or the laundry folded. The nights when he offers to give the baby her bath and put her to bed so I can have a little me time is treasured. Likewise, I love bringing him home his favorite treat (he's a huge fan of peanut m&ms) or cooking him his favorite meal. We take turns picking movies and we share the remote. Compromise is not a skill that is valued by the world but it is essential in a marriage.

5: Love and War. The last 'must have' I'll mention is the necessity of working through your problems. Communication is essential. Don't assume your spouse knows how you feel. Don't fool yourself into thinking he/she can read your mind. It doesn't work that way. Talk it out. Never go to bed or leave the other person while you hold anger in your heart. Above all, say "I love you." Those three little words can be overrated in a society that "loves" everything which is why it is so important to verbalize what it is you love in the other person. What do you value in your spouse? Does she know that you love the way she lights up a room? Does he know you love the way he holds you? The love between a husband and wife goes beyond the fancy frills and monetary things. It is a love that clings to the core of the heart.

When things get hard, remember why you fell in love with that person in the first place.

What types of things keep joy and stability in your marriage? What advice would you give to an engaged couple? May I suggest avoiding the seven year itch comment?