Can Someone Tell Me How?!

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I am in the midst of planning a girls' weekender with a couple of great gals. The only thing that has me anxious (besides the 5k I'll be participating in while severely out of shape) is leaving G for the first time overnight. Well, two nights if we're getting technical. I know this sounds stupid. She will be left in my husband's very capable hands and I'll only be about 3 hours or so away, but still. I'm really struggling with how I'm going to do this and not allow my worry and the fact that I know I'll miss her like crazy ruin the weekend. I adore the ladies I'll be going with and I know it will be fun. I'm just worried that this mommy will have a really tough time not tucking her little one in at night.

I'll be honest, this anxiety has been coming from some personal things I've been dealing with. We continue our battle with infertility and the reality that she may be the only little one we're ever blessed with makes my heart both rejoice (for at least being blessed with her) and grieve. It makes me want to cling to every single moment I have with her, but in reality I know that I can't lose who I am either. She needs to see her mom as a woman as well. ::sigh:: While I know these are personal issues I'll continue to bathe in prayer, I'm still in need of something, anything that will help this go smoothly.

So, my question to all of you with more experience and/or advice is, how do I do it?! I am in serious need of some insight. Thanks in advance!

Infertility Hurdles: Surviving the TWW

If you are not familiar with the TWW acronym, it stands for the (dreaded) Two Week Wait. Those two weeks are the ones following your ovulation. What does or doesn't happen during those two weeks can drive a gal crazy...

If you've been trying to conceive and you chart your cycles, you are probably acutely aware of how obsessive these two weeks can become. Every "symptom" is scrutinized. A slight dip in your temperature can trigger disappointment. A spike in temperatures sends your hope soaring! There are oodles of things that we try to spin in our favor in order to cling to the hope of pregnancy.

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I'm no stranger to the TWW. I remember all too well the roller coaster of emotions from TTC our daughter. Emotions this go around are pretty much the same, but my support system has changed...in that I actually have one and they are awesome! We're all going through this together. No matter how long you've been TTC there is no less sting when temperatures bottom out and a BFN is clearly in the near future. Handling this disappointment is a post all in its own, but I thought I'd share with you some ways I survive the TWW.

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Of course one of the main things I do (which may or may not be a healthy choice) is obsess over enter my chart data. There is very little that we can control regarding when we'll get pregnant and yet most of us feel a need for a sense of some type of control. In my case, I feel like I can at least control the data I enter into my chart, which includes my BBT (Basal Body Temperature) and "symptoms". I try not to get wrapped up in it. It just helps to show me and my doctor what is going on during my cycles. *I chart my entire cycle for accuracy.

Now here are some non-chart related things that help me pass the time...

Blog: This blog has become such a wonderful source of encouragement and it serves as a great outlet.

Bible Study: I recently started an infertility related bible study. It has served as a great foundation for me and the gals to approach infertility (and every. single. unsuccessful. cycle.) from a faith perspective.

Cook/Bake: I have always loved to cook and bake. Trying new recipes is a hobby of mine. I really ramp the production during the TWW. If I'm cooking I can sort out my thoughts and I can refocus my energy. Hobbies are a great way to keep your mind occupied.

Get Outdoors: There is something about a mountainous view and fresh air that cleanses the soul. It's a good way for me to clear my head and gain a fresh perspective.

Family Time: I LOVE my family. There is nothing better than spending time with my husband and daughter. The laughter, conversations, and memories divert my attention to more important things and I savor those precious moments.

Technology Breaks: I've backed off of Facebook for a few months now and I am very happy with my decision. My family time is more intentional and, while I'm not "in the know", I know enough. It gives me a reason to call, send a letter or text someone directly. It has made my relationships more personal. When I step away from my phone or the computer there is a crazy amount of freedom that comes with it.

Girls' Nights: Girl friends are essential in surviving the TWW. Taking time away to vent, cry and laugh with friends that are going through the same thing is extremely helpful. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with ALL my friends and they are so encouraging. It's just different being with those that understand...however, being with friends that are not baby obsessed is also nice in that not every conversation revolves around trying to get pregnant.

Create a Bucket List: Get a list together of things you'd love to do or accomplish. Get busy in checking them off. This will give you things to look forward to while you wait.

There are many things you can do to help you survive the TWW besides burying your face in a tub of ice cream. Save that for the BFN if it comes. I'd love to hear some of your survival tips...

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Fire Starter

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This isn't my typical Oh Hey Friday. This past week I accepted a challenge that was given during our youth sermon. It was called the 5 Tongue Challenge...you may be thinking this is an odd title but hang with me. The point behind this is that the words we say hold so much power. We can build up or break down. We can help or harm. The fact is, we have to control what comes out of our mouths. As Christians this is extremely important. We are living examples of what Christ can do with a life and it is our job to grow the Kingdom. How can we contribute to the growth of Heaven if we are continually harming our testimonies, shadowing the glory given to God, and turning others away from instead of towards Jesus?

 

Think about it...

 

"But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

 

 People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!"

 James 3:5b-10

Who knew we were all a bunch of forest fires just waiting to spark?! Here's the catch. A fire burns recklessly unless contained. Being married to a firefighter has well versed me in the characteristics of fire. While it's true that fire is often seen as destructive, there are times in which fire is necessary for growth. This is the mentality we need to have with spreading "the fire" through encouragement. Ok, now that you've wondered where I'm going with this, here is the challenge that followed the devotion on Wednesday. (I was granted permission to share this with you and it is my hope that you'll catch the flame.)

With this challenge there are 5 (here's the famous Friday five you've been waiting for) challenges that you attempt to complete in a week. The challenge was presented in a type of journal format so that we could all keep track of our specifics. I'll do my best to have the same layout for you. I hope you'll join us in this challenge...and it is my belief that if you do, you'll see blessings abound.

5 Tongue Challenge

1. Give someone at school an encouraging word this week.
    Who: ____________________
    When: ___________________
    Describe: ______________________________________________________________

2. Give a family member an encouraging word this week.
    Who: ____________________
    When: ___________________
    Describe: ______________________________________________________________

3. Give someone an encouraging word on some social media site this week.
    Who: ____________________
    When: ___________________
    Describe: ______________________________________________________________

4. Leave gossip in the dust, or stand up for someone in a positive way this week.
   Who: ____________________
    When: ___________________
    Describe: ______________________________________________________________

5. Most Important! Praise, worship, talk to (pray, read the Bible) God every day!
    Describe one time: _______________________________________________________

Be a fire starter this week. Ready? Set...Go!

Linking up with The Farmer's Wife



Make a wish...

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On this   day, 50 odd years ago, the Lord blessed this earth with one of the most amazing people I've ever known...my mom.

Her life story could make for some really good television and through it all she's managed to carry herself with such grace. She's taught me many things throughout my life...none of which were small tasks.

She taught me...
-to love the Lord above all else
-that I am loved beyond measure
-dreams may change or shatter but I'm never alone
-I am strong
-how to cook
-how to sew
-a love of learning
-band aids are rarely necessary
-if you fall down get right back up
-how to be a good woman
-how to be a great mom
-time is precious
-my priorities should be God, family and everything else

For much of my life she has served as both mom and dad. She has sacrificed so many things for the love and care of my sisters and I

I miss her like crazy! 500 miles between us is just too many and I hate the days that pass between visits.

My wedding day

With baby G at our home.

The three of us during our trip this past summer.

She is an amazing Granna and I know G will learn a lot from her in the years to come. All of this is but a snapshot of the fabulous woman that has raised me and on this day (and everyday) I celebrate. I celebrate a mother who has helped me to become the woman that I am. I also celebrate her as a best friend who I am blessed enough to call mom. With all that being said I want to wish her a very happy birthday...make a wish momma!

Linking up with Annie

Homemade Beef and Broccoli

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I love a Girls' Night In. I love Chinese food. So naturally it's only appropriate to put the two together. (In all the excitement I forgot to take a picture of the spread but I promise it looked as good as it tasted.) I prepared a couple of my favorites and then I explored a new recipe. The menu...

Sesame Seed Chicken

Brown Rice
 

Simple Sesame Noodles
 

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And the newbie to my Chinese smorgasbord...

Beef and Broccoli

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Ingredients
1/2tbsp cornstarch
1lb uncooked flat iron steak, thinly sliced against the grain
1c low sodium chicken broth, divided
3c uncooked broccoli florets
1/2tbsp ground ginger
2tsp minced garlic
1/4tsp red pepper flakes
1/4c water
1/4c low sodium soy sauce

Directions:
Spray a large nonstick skillet with cooking spray. Cook the beef on medium heart until lightly browned and cooked through. Transfer to a bowl with slotted spoon.

Add 1/2c of broth to the same pan. Stir to deglaze the pan. Add the broccoli, cover and cook, tossing throughout until broccoli is tender. Uncover and add the ginger, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Toss and cook for about a minute.

In a small bowl, whisk together water, soy sauce, 1/2c broth and cornstarch until blended. Stir into the pan. Reduce to medium-low heat and bring to a simmer. Simmer until the sauce begins to thicken.

Return the beef to the pan and toss to coat.

(The original recipe from Frugal Maine can be found here.)

 

 

Linking up with Green Fashionista for Tasty Tuesday and Love in the Kitchen for Tuesday's Table.

Living the Dream

If you are linking up with Mama Mondays it's probably safe to say you are a mom, will be soon or want to be someday.  Whether you're new to motherhood or have been at it for years, there is always something to learn. There is a truth I was reminded of just a couple weeks ago that I feel like we as moms (and women in general) need to remember: We are enough.  We were made to mother our children, whether birthed or adopted, and our greatest joy is seeing them become the amazing individuals that they were created to be.

In the midst of helping our children flourish and guiding them to aspire to great things (not to mention laundry,  dishes, sports, plays, band practice,  making dinner, packaging lunches, etc) we often lose ourselves. When we realize we've fallen into this rut we question ourselves as mothers, wives and women. We doubt our abilities and sometimes question our happiness.  As a Christian mother I know that life is not solely about happiness.  In fact, even if every single day were bad, I could have joy knowing that I have a good and gracious God working out all things for the greater good.

I had these reminders relayed to me through not a sermon or devotional,  but a movie that made me laugh, cry and totally relate. My hubby and I watched Mom's Night Out and I'm a huge fan. The characters were great and very personable. I hope you'll take a mommy moment to check it out.

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The main character is played by Sarah Drew. I've come to adore her in Grey's Anatomy.

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She plays a great personable role and I have since developed a new appreciation for her as an actress and fellow mother. I recently read this interview she did and I'm so grateful to have someone like her on the big screen. She proves you can live out your dreams, walk in the faith and be enough.

And now...just because...One of my favorite pictures from the week...

Linking up with Leslyn this Monday.

Infertility Hurdles: The Company You Keep

From a recent bible study session I had a pretty big epiphany. All that I've been through up to this point (and all that I will go through) is necessary. Necessary. That word causes a major sense of bitterness at the sound. Doctor appointments: necessary. Less dairy (and most of the foods I love): necessary. Blood work: necessary. Medication: necessary. Screaming into a pillow: necessary. There are a lot of unpleasant "necessary" moments in the Land of Infertility. Rarely do I ever consider these things good...that was until recently.

It's easy to settle into a place of constant bitterness and sadness.

You want more than anything to have what others have. The constant "why can she and not me?" question permanently embeds itself in your mind.

I suppose this idea of "necessary" has been an area of struggle for me for quite some time. I know God has a plan for my life but why? Why am I going through this? I'm young. I'm stable. I have so much love to give...why is this part of my journey so necessary?

I know now...well, actually I now accept, that I need to turn my thoughts of necessary around. Had I not previously gone through this journey I would not have any experience in order to relate to those women who are also battling infertility. I would not have found some of the friends I have found through various support groups if I had not been diagnosed with PCOS. This second time around has not been any easier to accept. However, had I not begun this journey again I would not have felt led to start an infertility related bible study. I would not have connected with some amazing women on the sweetest of faith based levels. My faith would not have been challenged in this way and I would not know God's goodness the way I know it now.

When surrounding yourself with support through the journey (and you should), be sure you are careful of the company you keep. Try to surround yourself with positive people. While the journey is hard, you don't want people that will feed into your bitterness. You need to seek out those who still have optimism, who still have hope and will still support you when circumstances turn. Infertility is difficult enough without constantly focusing on all that is not going right.

The women that I am currently going through this study with definitely fit the bill. We all laugh together. We cry. We hope. We dream. We cling to a God who knows our hearts and has brought us together to serve as tangible examples of His love for us. I've challenged all of us to change our view of "necessary". We all also accepted the challenge, regardless of what our heads tell us, to change our thoughts from "I doubt it happened this cycle" to "I claim this cycle and consider myself PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise) during the TTW." Hope is what we have. Faith is what we cling to and His grace is how we survive.

Just a side note...when it comes to the company you keep, consider the relationship and comfort level that you have with your doctor.  Some women decide to go with a specialist.  Find one that meets your needs and suits your personality and goals. If you're like me and various reasons hinder the use of a specialist,  work with a doctor that works with your particular condition.  A lot of doctors are familiar with my PCOS but I had to change practices in order to find a doctor that knew how to treat it and could give me reasons why they were choosing the types of treatment that they were suggesting. You are your best advocate.

I hope that no matter what you're going through you'll accept that no matter how difficult the journey, each moment is necessary.

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In a Rut...Landscaping Woes

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We're in the process of trying to get our house "market ready". We have a beautiful view and our house is cozy and welcoming. We've already done a lot of work (with still much to do) on the inside and we're now at the point where we need to decide what to do on the outside. I've been scouring the internet for some ideas as to what to do for landscaping. Currently we have some giant azalea bushes on both sides of the front porch. The sides do not grow at the same rate despite keeping one side trimmed. One side has way too many plants next to each other...and don't get me started on the ivy. I love the way it looks but it consumes everything! I'm really struggling with what to do. I'm a novice in this area and I want something basic but flattering.

We live in a white cape cod style home with a stucco surface. It definitely has a country cottage kind of feel and I want to reflect that in the landscaping. Here are a few ideas but I'm definitely open to suggestions. I've never really done landscaping so I'll take whatever advice you want to offer...I know I'm trying to opt for perennials simply because I don't know when we'll sell the house and I want something that will last.

[1]

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I love the simple look.

[2]

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The purple and gold would go well with our home and the types of plants compliment the country setting.

[3]

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I think the stones add a nice touch.

[4]

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Maybe simple will be best...?

[5]

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This could work...

Thoughts?

Linking up with The Farmer's Wife



A Little Revamping...

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Okay...this week has been a bit crazy. Over the weekend my daughter came down with a 103 fever. This lasted through Sunday when it broke mid-morning. We took her to the pediatrician and found out that she once again has Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD). She's had this before but not this bad. In the past she had a rash and a high fever that lasted a few days. This time around she didn't have the fever as long but her rash is far worse and she has the blisters in her mouth. It's been a challenge finding things that she wants to eat. At least she has been taking lots of fluids.

On Tuesday she woke up at 4:30am and much to my dismay, did not nap at all! She finally laid down around 8:00pm. I don't know how she did it. Not only was I listening to a super cranky baby going down the road after an evening of parent-teacher conferences, but then my poor hubby called to say that he was leaving work because he was sick. His flu like symptoms made him pretty miserable and because he loves me and wanted me to stay healthy, he slept on the sofa bed. ::sigh:: It was a rough start to the week.

I needed a break from the chaos and thanks to a few posts by Leslyn, I felt inspired to revamp some of my fitness goals and to review my 30 by 30 list (especially since April will be here sooner than later.)

I've been maintaining my 20lb weight loss, give or take a few pounds (and right now it's more on the give side). I've really been trying to rein in my eating habits as of late (goodbye ice cream and cookie dough and cupcakes and...) so I've been opting for more fruits and veggies. Right now the two main things I have been focusing on are eating fruits and/or veggies for my snacks and getting plenty of water. I love water but teaching often distracts me from ensuring I get enough...not to mention I don't really get the opportunity to use the bathroom at will so I have to be conscious of that as well. Overall though I'm feeling better about my choices. I hope to start getting back to an exercise routine as well.

Now for my 30 by 30 list...

30 By 30

1. Host a Brunch Party

2. Begin (and finish?) building our “forever” home

3. Hike to a waterfall

4. Lose 30 pounds

5. Make G a big sister

6. Take a family trip to Washington D.C.

7. Make a pair of shoes

8. Visit a lighthouse

9. Go to the South Carolina Aquarium

10. Take a family trip to the North Carolina Zoo

11. Make a pecan pie

12. Send a card to a stranger

13. Make a photo book of G’s first year

14. Take a cooking class

15. Make homemade truffles

16. Plant a tree

17. Serve at a soup kitchen

18. Make a holiday wreath

19. Teach a kids’ cooking class

20. Take a girls’ trip with my mom, daughter and sisters

21. Learn to crochet

22. Take a carriage ride

23. Make real homemade alfredo sauce

24. Make homemade ravioli

26. Pay for a stranger’s meal

27. Learn to French Braid

28. Be in a parade

29. Read 100 books with/to my daughter

30. Buy new living room furniture

Linking up with Home of Malones

Fan food...Buffalo Chicken Potato Skins

Football season has arrived. It's just one of the many reasons I love fall. Another reason is the way things change in my kitchen. The smells of pumpkin, apples and spice make everything so nice. Fall baking becomes a standard weekend occurrence.  Soups are devoured on a regular basis along with warm crusty bread.

As I mentioned,  football season is here which means fan food is on the menu. I had the idea to combine two of our favorite football foods: buffalo chicken and potato skins. Thus the Buffalo Chicken Potato Skins came into existence. I know the name isn't very original but they are so good!

**I opted to put my chicken in the slow cooker to save on time. I added 1/4c. hot sauce and 1/3c. water to the crockpot and allowed the chicken to cook about 9 hours on low. When I got home I shredded the chicken and cooked up some bacon.


Buffalo Chicken Potato Skins

Ingredients:
2 chicken breasts, boneless and skinless
1/4 c hot sauce (I use Frank's)
3 strips of low sodium bacon, crisp
3 baking potatoes
3/4 c shredded cheddar cheese

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 400.

Wash the potatoes thoroughly and wrap individually in paper towels (do not dry). Cook in the microwave for about 12 minutes or until the potatoes are soft. Remove and allow to cool for a few minutes.

Slice the potatoes in half long ways. Scoop out the centers, leaving a thin layer of potato. Place on a cookie sheet. Bake 6-8 minutes.

Remove and top with the chicken, bacon and cheese. Bake an additional 5-10 minutes or until the cheese is well melted and the edges of the potatoes are crisp.

Top with your favorite toppings such as ranch, sour cream, etc. Enjoy!

Joining the Green Fashionista

and

Love in the Kitchen

Face Plants and Tantrums

I come with a heavy heart as I type this post. I'm grieving through a loss with some friends and my heart just aches. As a fixer I really struggle with wanting to say and do the right things to comfort. However, I know that sometimes the best thing is to just sit back, lend an ear, provide a shoulder and pray them through.

I'm eternally grateful for our miracle and times like this make me that much more grateful for God's goodness. He has an amazing journey for us, even when we don't like where He takes us.

Speaking of, I hope you'll check out this amazing video. I have had the honor of praying for this family for quite some time now. Lindsey (from Vapor and Mist) tells her family's story (have tissues on hand) and there is no way that you can walk away from hearing this unchanged. She brings to light so many important things and really hones in on God's greatness through the storms. Please take some time to view.

Sweet Sophie

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I am in awe of the strength that I have seen from these families. Likewise, I try to always appreciate every moment of motherhood...even the tough ones.

Such are the moments I experienced last weekend. Fortunately neither of these events occurred on our mother-daughter trip to DC...just before and after.

That Friday morning was particularly rushed. I was trying to get the remainder of the Jeep packed for our trip. I had brought G outside with me as I loaded the vehicle. I heard an odd noise from the side of the house. I ran over to see our dog Abby on the outside of the fence. This would not be a big deal expect she was still attached to her run. (Back story: Abby is a known escape artist. We are currently in the midst of repairing our fence to keep her in. In order to keep her safe and out of the cattle pasture, we've had to tie her up.) She had about 20 feet of run line, which apparently was just enough to let her scale the 6 foot fence. There she was, standing on her tiptoes. I know it had to have happened at some point in the past hour or so because she was fine upon me waking up that morning. As I walked toward her I heard a wailing cry coming from my daughter just a few feet away. She had attempted to crawl up the porch steps and missed one.

Face-0   Concrete-1

Her little nose was scratched up and bleeding. She also had a scratch and welt above her eye. Of course the babe took precedent. I quickly tended to her nose and checked her teeth. Aside from being sore, all was well. I then took her back outside to tend to Abby. That was a rough way to start the day.

Now of course if you are going to begin the weekend that way, you obviously should send it out with a bang.

We stopped about an hour from home on Sunday for lunch. We opted for a quick mall trip. Lunch went well and we made our way into a few stores. I'd been considering a smaller umbrella style stroller for G since our current stroller is so big and we don't really need something that large anymore. Fortunately as she gets bigger, the bag for necessity items gets smaller.

We went into one of the larger department stores and came across a great sale on the type of stroller I was looking for. I let G out of her stroller and she proceeded to climb into the floor model of the umbrella stroller. I picked out the style and design that I liked best and told G it was time to go bye-bye. Her precious little mouth said "no". Did I mention not only is she adorable but extremely strong willed? I told her it was time to go one more time and she wiggled her little bottom firmly into the seat and looked at me (with the cutest little expression) and said "no" once again. This momma had to stand her ground. I pulled her out of the seat and she immediately became angry. I was going to have her walk with me so I took her hand. She refused to stand up, gave me dead weight, and yelled at me. I was one horrified (and angry) mother. Since when did my beautiful baby girl become so defiant and sassy?! I picked her up, put her in her stroller and away we went. I'm proud to say we both survived her first real tantrum. She won't be two until April...I thought I had some time before this type of attitude surfaced.

I know by looking at this face you'd never believe it.

Fortunately we have not had another episode and I hope it stays that way for a while. These moments, while trying in the midst, form memories and show us what we are made of. Count these true joys of motherhood...

Linking up with Les for Mama Mondays.



You, Me and G in DC

This past weekend was an exhausting amount of fun. G and I road tripped to D.C. to visit my best friend...here are a few of my favorite moments from the weekend.

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[Cupcakes]
Cupcakes hold a special place in my heart and I believe there is a special dessert compartment in my stomach that is always on standby. We visited 3 bakeries while in D.C. My favorite was Georgetown Cupcakes. I visited there in 2012, which was my last visit to the nation's capital, and I must say, they were just as good as they were two years ago. G enjoyed her experience as well.

 

G and Aunt LaLa waiting on our cupcakes

 

 

[The Zoo]

We love zoos. I know you are probably thinking I'm crazy but I can't help myself! The DC Zoo was on my list of to-do's during our stay. We had so much fun despite the ridiculously hot weather and humidity.

 

 

 

Zoo Exhaustion

 

[Good Eats]

After the zoo, we realized we were super hungry. We couldn't decide where to eat so we just began walking towards the cupcake shop. We ended up stopping at J. Pauls. Delish!

 



 

 

 

[The Outlets]

We took some time to do a little shopping. I've been looking for some fall/winter clothes for my little one, but I hate to pay full price for anything that she's going to grow out of in days, weeks, months, etc. We did find some pretty good deals...and my bestie realized that my owl obsession is fo' real.

 

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[Words]

The one thing that has stuck with me most from the visit was a simple wooden sign sitting upon her bedroom dresser. The message struck a chord in my soul that I've been carrying with me since. The words have always been fitting but I feel that they ring particularly true for the circumstances we currently face. It's a great way to think about what life throws at us. I LOVE this quote and will carry it with me always...

 

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Linking up with The Farmer's Wife for OHF!