5 Things Every Couple Should Discuss Before the Vows

With so many new marriages and some on the horizon, I've been thinking back to my own wedding and marriage. Before marriage we participated in premarital counseling with our pastor. I highly recommend premarital counseling prior to saying "I do." You will learn so much!

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Regardless if you go through premarital counseling or not, there are a few topics that every couple should discuss in detail prior to tying the knot. I'll be honest, some of these are not easy and some can become down right uncomfortable,  but remember,  it's necessary. Even if you don't have all the answers at the time, you will have at least had the conversation. Here are a few items that both my husband and I saw as important and helpful to discuss prior to getting married.

1. Finances. Yuck. Money can be the root of some serious problems in your marriage if not discussed ahead of time. Decide if you'll keep separate accounts, joint accounts etc. Discuss having both names being placed on separate accounts if you choose to go that route.  In the event of an emergency you want your spouse to have access to the funds. Discuss a budget and how bills will be paid. Of course there are oodles of other related items but these are some of the high spots.

2. Children. This is a big one. Knowing that I wanted a large family predetermined the type of response I would need from my future spouse. Fortunately the Lord blessed me with a man who not only loves children but would like a good sized family as well. Children are not necessarily for everyone.  If you long to have kids but your future spouse is adamant about not wanting children, you need to consider how that will impact your marriage...and it will. The number of kids isn't necessarily important. You'll figure that out as you go.

3. Discipline. If you plan on having children or will be bringing kids into the marriage,  discuss how you both view discipline.  My husband and I have similar views on discipline but due to certain things in my past and related experiences, my views slightly differ. We decided on a plan that appears to be working for us thus far.

4. Holidays. Combining two families with their own traditions on top of trying to start your own can be a major juggling act...especially if you've never considered how you'd make it work. I've learned that while you want to remain respectful and considerate, you can't let the dream traditions you have for you own little family be cast aside. Compromise is going to be huge with this one. Don't be surprised if feelings are hurt at first. Life will go on. Also note that while yes, you can adjust as the years go on, do remember your first round of holidays after marriage begin to set the expectations for later gatherings...just saying.

5. Personal Expectations. Talk about what you wish for your marriage. There may be things you don't see eye to eye on and it will be important to know what these things are. Be realistic in your expectations for your marriage and of the other person. Also talk about dreams that you have. This can be a particularly fun conversation.  My husband and I never tire of talking about hopes and dreams we have for our family.

I hope you'll consider having these conversations. Marriage is meant to be forever. Handle it with care.

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Monthly Weight Loss and Pictures

I won't even pretend that I've given a praiseworthy attempt at losing weight or accomplishing my goals this month. In fact, since I'm being completely honest, this month I hit a wall. I've been facing a weight loss plateau and I let it get the best of me. Curse this back and forth sway of 1-2lbs. I lost focus. I got caught up in the traveling, and while wonderful, I didn't eat like I should, nor exercise, during those times. I allowed being away from home to be my excuse for extra snacking and high calorie food options. I was on vacation!

We've also been facing some personal matters and I've found myself settling into old habits. More than once I caught myself turning to food for comfort. Remnants of my Emotional Eating surfaced but I refused to let them stick around.


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I've tried not to be too hard on myself...that would only crush what motivation I have left. While this last week has held many wonderful things, it has also held it's share of stress, anxiety and disappointment, but I did my best to not allow these feelings overrule my better judgment. I've gotten in a little more exercise this past week and I'm feeling better about greeting July (if you don't count the fact that half of my summer will be over ::tears::)

So while I wish I had amazing results to share with you this month...I do not. I know in order to move forward that I can't focus on "what I should have done."

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I did, however, have a memorable moment...my hubby and I took our first "real" date since the birth of our daughter over a year ago...and I wore "the dress". This dress has not been worn in almost 3 years. It fit better now than it ever has...I consider that a major accomplishment.

With all that being said, I've decided to take a step back from social media for a while. I feel that I need to be devoting myself more to some of my relationships and health and I need to get myself going forward in full motion again. I'll still be blogging, but maybe not as often and as for Facebook...don't be offended when I look clueless if you tell me about something you posted. More than likely I will have missed it. As much as I love reading updates, I have some updating that I need to do outside of the technological realm. God bless and I hope all of you are enjoying your summer!

 

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Thoughts for Thursday

For the remainder of the summer I'll be joining Natalie and others for Thoughts for Thursday. This particular Thursday (ok this whole week) has held a lot of ups and downs. It's nice to sit and reflect on some of the "ups".

[one]

This week held a lot of fun. One of my most favorite moments was the day that included these two sweet little babes. G and I drove over the mountain to visit my dear friend and her precious little boy. I love the girl time we get to spend together. Our time has only been sweetened by these two redheads. As they get older their interactions become that much more entertaining. Today they enjoyed some water table time. 



Puppy kisses

 

 

 

 Could these two be any cuter?!

[two]

On Tuesday I sent my hubby down the river...okay, he went on a river trip with some buddies for work. Being the perfect wife that I am (you may laugh now), I could not send him off without some goodies. That's just not my style...and lets face it, his work buddies have grown quite accustomed to sweets being sent their way. I pulled out my homemade Choc It To Me Brownie recipe. I have not made this in forever! Truth be told, these rich, fabulously delish confections probably add 10lbs with each batch, but they are so worth it. I made another batch this week to take to a friend and her adorable family. You will only be doing yourself a disservice by not making these ASAP.

 Click on the link for the recipe. Enjoy!

Choc It To Me Brownies

[three]

On Sunday I had a major mommy fail. After church I took G out for a Mommy and Me lunch. She was great. We then headed to Walmart to grab a few things.  Upon leaving and putting her in the car, she asked for Bella, her best buddy, the moose. Bella was no where to be found. I searched the parking lot, the vehicle,  every bag, etc. No Bella. I called the restaurant. No Bella. I cried, she cried.

We came home where she continued to look and call for Bella. This mommy's heart was broken. I posted my fail on Facebook and a while later my friend called. She had seen Bella at Walmart!  Bella was on a display case near the sporting goods. I was elated! My friend called the store and had one of the workers go see if she was still there. Bella was safely retrieved and placed in customer service.  We had to forgo normal bedtime and made the 30 minute drive to town to pick up my baby's best friend. Thanks be to God for His goodness. Mommy and baby went to bed happy. ("Back Up Bella" arrived in the mail yesterday...just in case.)

[four] 

Speaking of our little gem, she took her first steps...completely independent of any assistance...this week! She took 3 steps earlier this week and then took 5 more today! It may not be much but it's progress!

 

 

 

 

Ta-da!

[five]

In an attempt to clear some clutter, I went through some things and have decided to put forth a little footwork to participate in a large local consignment sale this August. I've been to this sale several times, both in the fall and spring, and I always make out really well. I'll not only be shopping this year, but I'll also be cosigning. If you are local or close, I hope you'll also take advantage of this great sale that benefits many in our community through financial giving and item donations. Take a moment to find out all about KidzKraze!

Go To What You Know

This week has held a lot of highs and lows for me on a personal level. In venting to my amazing (and I can't stress that enough) best bud, I was given some advice. I know she will be rolling her eyes because of her humble heart when I say this, but she is truly a source of reason and sensibility. I never face judgment and I always hear truth. Tonight's tidbit?  "Go to what you know..."

 

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Sitting here alone this evening, I've had a little bit of time to reflect on those five words. With what has been on my heart and mind these past few days, it just seems timely and completely appropriate that I focus on what I know as reminders to get me through these moments. This is not an exhaustive list but it is a place to start...It is my hope that you'll find encouragement, just as I have, through the power and truth of God's Holy Word.

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-His mercies are new. Whatever short comings I face today (and I admit this week has been filled with many mommy fails, wife fails, friend fails, etc.) His love and mercy endures. He finds me where I am and will not leave me there to wander.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail. They are new every

morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lam. 3:22-23

-This too shall pass. The things that I'm facing today, tomorrow, haunts from yesterday...all of them are fleeting. They are moments in my life that God can use to mold me. They are also moments that I can use to glorify God, build my testimony and deepen my faith.

For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long.  Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever.  So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Cor. 4:17-18

-There is victory. Regardless of disappointments, short comings, and the like, there is victory in Jesus.

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

1 Cor. 15:57

-I am blessed beyond measure, even when my heart hurts.

But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.

Jer. 17:7-8

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Matt. 5:4

 

 

-His timing is perfect.

Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Ps. 37:4

 

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Cake Pop Extravaganza!

 I. Love. Weddings. I've always loved them...call me a hopeless romantic but there is just something magical in the air at these types of events. The Morcom/Sprinkle Wedding was no exception. I've grown to know and love these two over the last few years and their marriage was one that many called from early on. They are perfect for each other. God has joined two souls in a most beautiful union.

Leading up to this whimsical celebration of love, I had quite a task before me. I had the honor of making the guest favors for the reception. I've never taken on an order this large (with the exception of my camp cook days where a couple hundred of everything were always on the menu).

The process begins by making your favorite batter (homemade or boxed...whatever works for you). In this case, I made five flavors: Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate, Orange Crème, and Red Velvet. Once the cake is baked and cooled, I crumbled it into a gallon bag and placed it in the refrigerator.

After about 30 minutes I took out the cake and mixed it, along with about a 1/2c of homemade butter cream icing (yum!). It does not take much icing. Remember you can always add more, but you can't take away.

I used a melon baller to scoop out the cake to get uniform sized balls. Roll gently in your hands, making them as compact as possible. Set on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Stick them in the freezer for at least 30 minutes but no more than 45 minutes.

Right before you take the balls from the freezer, melt your chocolate. I used a combination of Almond Bark and Chocolate chips (about half and half). Melt for about 20 seconds and stir. Continue melting in 10 second intervals until the chocolate is smooth.

Have your dipping station ready prior to beginning your cake pops. This means, sticks, wax paper to set the pops on and any decorations you wish you use (unless you are icing decorations afterwards).

Take a stick and dip it about a centimeter into the chocolate. Immediately push it about 1/3 of the way into the cake ball. Quickly dip the whole cake pop, up to the stick, in the chocolate. Gently tap the stick on the side of the bowl while slowly swirling the pop several times in order to allow the chocolate to coat the pop evenly.

Place on the wax paper and decorate with sprinkles, colored sugar, etc. If you are icing the decorations, allow the pops to dry completely.

Strawberry with White Chocolate and Sprinkles

Chocolate and Chocolate...enough said

Red Velvet and Light Blue colored White Chocolate with Sugar Crystals

Package or display your pops as you wish.

Vanilla with White Chocolate and Teal Stripes

I was thrilled to see my work displayed along side their beautiful table settings. 

   

Chasing Dreams

"Show me your ways, Lord,
    teach me your paths.
 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are God my Savior,
    and my hope is in you all day long." 

Psalm 25:4-5

God has been teaching me a lot through this verse lately. My sweet hubby and I have a lot of dreams before us and our prayers center around the Lord's will and what He would have for us. I've had a lot of "moments" lately where my perspectives have been challenged and in some instances, changed.

Earlier this week I was talking to my best friend about some of the things weighing on my heart. I told her that I really want to be in God's will and that I am doing my best to seek what He would have for us. In her infinite wisdom she told me that she "once heard that if we are following Him, then we are already in His will. We don't need to worry about figuring out if we are or aren't." Basically I am following Christ and by doing this, His plan will unfold before me through prayer and obedience. I've never thought about my walk with God that way. Maybe it's the church jargon but I've always thought that part of my job as a follower of Christ is to continually seek His will...but I've begun to realize that it's not necessarily His will I am to seek, but to wholeheartedly seek Him instead. By seeking and following after Him, His plan for my life will become evident, His will becomes my will and while I may not always have or gain understanding of His workings (Is. 55:9) I will be giving foundation to my hopes and dreams that are aligned with His plan.

It's no secret that my hubby and I want to add to our family. We've prayed about adoption in the past and have done so now. While we would like to do this in the future, we do not feel called at this time. We do, however, know that God has laid the desire for more children in our hearts. We welcome the beautiful mess that is parenthood.



A typical scene in G's playroom

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My PCOS journey has forced us to deal with matters of infertility, depression, strained relationships, and the testing of our faith. In December of last year I met with my doctor regarding my PCOS diagnosis. I had switched practitioners right before I found out I was pregnant with G, and since we have begun discussing future children, I thought it best to seek out her guidance. Can I just say I love my doctor?! She always has a plan. She always takes the time to answer my questions whether in the office or via email. She is always supportive, open and honest. I am in such good hands.

She ran a gamete of tests and determined that my testosterone levels were high. When this occurs, it causes other necessary hormones for pregnancy to be awry. Her first objective was to help level out those hormones. Then came the medication...again. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate taking medication, but one does what she must. She also recommended that I work on losing 5-10% of my body weight. This is supposed to help support balancing my hormones, potentially increase my fertility and eventually lead to a healthy pregnancy. It was at that point that my weight loss journey began.

I've since lost over 5% and I'm working my way towards that 10% goal. In the midst of losing weight it was noted that I was not ovulating sufficiently so I was put on Clomid to assist with ovulation. We're hoping that these efforts will result in a healthy pregnancy in the near future. All we can do is wait.

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Waiting is so HARD! There is nothing easy about it. To help with this during my first pregnancy I began a journal for our child. I wrote to our child often and once we found out her gender and decided on her name, the entries became that much more personal. I still write in that journal and I look forward to giving it to her one day. To help with this new time of waiting, I've begun a new journal in hope of filling the pages with letters, stories and memories for another child. Both of these journals contain not only sentiments but their designated life verses and names that we had/are considering.

The top journal is for G and the bottom is for our "yet to be" baby

We truly believe the Lord has wonderful things in store for our family and as we walk this road we are trying to not fall back into the feelings of anxiety, doubt and fear that we faced during our previous journey to baby. God continues to speak to my heart as I chase these dreams. I'm going after what I believe He has for us and I am doing my best to remain hopeful.

I'm continuing to learn a lot about prayer and coming boldly to His throne with my requests and praise. In Marla Alupoaicei's book study, Prayer Warrior Mom: Covering your kids with God's blessings and protection, she quotes a passage from Martin Collin's "Parable of the Persistent Friend."

God often answers us after long and preserving requests. He hears prayers and grants

blessings long after they appear to be unanswered or withheld. He does not promise to 

give blessings immediately. He promises only that He will do it according to His

will and plan. Although He promises to answer the prayer of the faithful, often He

requires us to wait a long time to try our faith. He may allow us to persevere for months

or years, until we are completely dependent on Him, until we see that there is no other

way to receive the blessing, and until we are prepared to receive it. Sometimes, we are not

ready to receive a blessing when we first ask...If what we ask for is good and accords with

God's will, He will give it at the best time possible. 

So in this time of waiting, I will continue to move forward with the things that I already have going, steps towards other dreams we have, and I will try not to focus or reflect too much on the pain of our past. While those painful moments have been an important part of getting us to where we are both in love and appreciation for the gifts we've been given, they also bring back an ache that is far too familiar and will only distract me from what lies ahead. I'd appreciate your prayers as we wait. 

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Five on Friday!

It seems that life has been going at warp speed these last couple of weeks so I'm glad to finally be able to sit down and reflect on our summer so far. We've had some ups and downs and we continue to make plans for the near and distant future. I'm joining with Darci and others for this week's Five on Friday. I hope you'll join in!





[one]

I bought this material back in April (I think) with the intention of sewing G a couple summer dresses. I finally made good on my intentions this week. I found these adorable prints at JoAnn Fabrics.

[two]

While on our trip last week, we made a pit-stop in Tennessee. One of my favorite places to visit is the Christmas Place. We picked up a few personalized ornaments for family, as well as our family ornament for this year. We have a tradition of buying an ornament on each of our vacations. It's nice to have them as reminders from year to year of the good times we've shared. Also while at the Christmas Place we discovered this adorable canvas print on clearance. We got it for less than half of it's original price and it will go perfectly in G's play room (which I realized I have not blogged about since completing most of the room).

[three]
Over the last few weeks I've gotten a lot of use out of our old clothesline. There is just something about laundry that smells like sunshine...

[four]

Our precious miracle turned 14 months old on Thursday. I can't believe how much she has grown! She has a few words: "nana" (for all things food), "mouw-mouw" (the cats), "woof-woof" (the dogs), "Belwa" (Bella, her moose and best buddy), "this" (for most things she points at or wants), "uh oh" and "no". She is really testing the limits (maybe this means two will be a breeze?) and is becoming even more brave in her endeavors. She is almost at the point of walking. She holds on to the wall and furniture throughout the house but has yet to let go. She loves: giving and blowing kisses, playing in her pool, music, bananas and grapes, macaroni and cheese, Bella, her blankie, and animals. She is learning: to walk, how to color, and new words.

[five]

Last week we took a 9+ hour trip to visit my mom and sister in Georgia. I miss them dearly and while our time flew too quickly, I treasured every memory made. Feel free to catch up on our eventful Road Trip.

Three generations

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A Little Southern Comfort...coming to an end

Our trip to see my family was such a blessing and while the time passed far to quickly,  I've treasured every moment. To a lot of you I'm sure these last few posts have been mundane, after all our trip wasn't to Paris or Africa or Disney World...but to me, going home to see those I love and haven't seen in such a long time is far better.

Our last day was filled celebrating Father's Day.

We began the morning with one of my hubby's favorite breakfasts. He has a major thing for my mom's breakfast casserole and of course, what her favorite (only) son - in- law wants, he gets.

Later that day I snagged my little sister and we ran to the store to by the ingredients for C's Father's Day dessert...More on that later.

After making the dessert we all sat down and went through some old photos from my childhood.  It was fun to see how G is finally starting to look a little like me. Mom gave me some more info about our family and for the first time I got to see what my biological grandmother and great grandmother looked like (my mom was adopted). It was such a neat experience.

We also reflected on fond memories of my dad and grandpa. Dad passed very unexpectedly on my birthday in April 2012. His dad, my grandpa, passed later that year in October.  Needless to say they are loved and missed every day.

It is with great joy however that I get to celebrate my husband.  Not only is he a wonderful blessing and one of the most humble and Christ-centered men you'll ever meet, he is also a phenomenal dad. He loves our little girl with such a  fierceness.  He is protective, playful and provides so much love to our precious miracle. My heart melts every time I see them interacting. God has blessed G with such an amazing daddy.

April 20 1-3 catching a nap on the afternoon she was born

We ended our day of celebrating with dinner at his favorite restaurant and some family pictures.

We then came home to enjoy my Snickers version of this Ice Cream Sandwich Cake. Yum!

(I used fudge, Caramel, peanuts and chopped up Snicker bars in the middle layer and on top.)

Bright and early the next morning we headed back. We did the full trip and, with much rejoicing,  arrived home without incident. The Lord has been good indeed.

If you missed any part of this road trip adventure,  you can get caught up here.

A Little Southern Comfort Day 4

This was one of my favorite days of our trip. This day consisted of some wonderful girl time, makeovers and a surprise date!

The day began with me meeting my baby sister at Dunkin Donuts for breakfast.  I highly recommend their Cookie Dough flavored ice coffee. She then treated me to a manicure for my big date.

We then went back to my mom's where we were treated to Mary Kay makeovers.

Me

My sweet momma

My baby sister

Once my makeup was done, it was time to get ready. I've been excited about this date for a few days. My husband, who has always been so wonderful, decided to treat me to a little extra romance. We have not had an actual full night out since G was born (almost 14 months ago!). So, we handed G off to mom and headed out to what would end up being a wonderful evening. 

Granna and G just a swingin'

Now let me preface this date. I am very Type A. I don't tend to like big surprises and the planner that I am insists on knowing details. In this instance, I was not given any of these options. My hubby was determined to surprise me and for probably the first time in my life, I relinquished control and allowed him to take care of everything.



Ready for a night out...

We began the evening with a fabulous dining experience at La Scala. I've never been but have always wanted to go! This establishment is known for their good food and a truly fine dining experience. (I'll never forget C's face when the waitress took our silverware after eating our salads and provided us with clean forks, knives and spoons for our main course.)

To top it off, because we were there before the "real" dinner crowd, we had the place to ourselves for  the first part of the meal (around 6:00pm people starting pouring in.)

Compliments of the Chef

This was our delicious appetizer...

  

Our beautiful salads...the vinaigrette on mine was amazing!

My main course: Pasta Margherita



The hubby's main course



  

After enjoying an amazing meal, he treated me to a real movie theater movie (haha). I have been dying to see Maleficent. I'm in love! This movie was well worth the wait.

I hated to see the evening end. The "us" time was long overdue. It's been a while since I've sat back, relaxed and just enjoyed myself. Being a mom is truly the best thing in the world and I would never trade it for a million of these types of nights, but it was nice to feel pretty again, dress up, and go somewhere without a diaper bag on my shoulder.

My vacation posts are quickly coming to an end. As I look back on the pictures and memories I've yet to share, I become excited about other possibilities this summer holds.

*I was not compensated for any of my opinions regarding any establishments or products in this post.*