Five for February

I'm so excited about February...we have so many wonderful things ahead!



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[Superbowl XLIX]

Our Cowboys were rocking it this year! Unfortunately, their final game was a heartbreaker and knocked us out of the running. Despite our feelings, we're really excited about the game. Knowing we should pick a side to cheer for and considering we're pretty anti-Patriots I guess there's only one option left...regardless, there will be friends, food and football come Sunday night. I hate to see football season go...

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[Valentine's Day]

We've decided to have a low key homemade dinner this year. I'm already planning the menu. We've decided to opt out of cards and gifts. With a new baby on the way and a new house in our (prayerfully near) future, we figured we could go without this year. I'm also looking forward to putting together some little goodies for G's friends at day care. I also must say that I'm loving this little outfit from The Hair Bow Company...

[Baby Mine]

We'll be finding out the gender of our littlest miracle this month. I CANNOT WAIT! Can you feel my excitement?! We're trying to decide how we want to share the news. With G we were just so excited that we called everyone...we may aim to be a little more creative this time around...



Baby Mays #2 at 12 weeks

[Birthdays]

We have a few birthdays in February but I must say, two of my favorite to celebrate are that of my hubby and my best friend. Who knew that my wonderful husband and my bestest would share the same birth month? Destiny.

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[Snow]

Okay, so this may be a stretch but a girl can dream. So far this year we have not had a single good snow. I'm one of those crazy people that loves snow. It's like my area is encased in a bubble and the snow falls in all of the surrounding areas...I'm not kidding! They are calling for some possible accumulation this weekend...fingers crossed!



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Linking up for Oh Hey Friday! and Five on Friday

When It's Your Turn: The Other Side of Infertility

You've prayed. You've tasted bitterness. You've remained hopeful. You've fought against the odds. And then...you want to give up. You want to throw your hands in the air because you don't understand why it seems everyone around you can have a baby and you can't. You battle these emotions day in and day out.

Fast forward (in slow motion) and a miraculous things happens. You...the one wondering if your prayers will ever be answered in the way that you hoped, are pregnant. Those two beautiful pink lines bring a plethora of emotions. You struggle with disbelief and complete elation. You want to tell everyone and no one at the same time. Your dreams are becoming a reality.

I must say that my emotions and experiences regarding both the conception of my daughter and, now, this precious miracle have been all of those things and more. It's crazy to think that after all someone with infertility goes through that she could feel anything but complete joy...and yet, it becomes so much more.


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This new journey comes with a mixed bag of emotions. Your excitement can become tainted with other less pleasant emotions. I struggled greatly...and still struggle with these things.

One of the most difficult emotions to combat is guilt.

It's hard to get beyond this one. I've been fortunate enough to have a beautiful support group this time around. The three of us have been praying for each other, hoping and wishing on every star for one another to become pregnant. It's what we all want for each other...so why the guilt? It's the flip side of the "why she and not me?" It becomes the "Praise God for me, but why not she?" I so desperately want all of us to share this experience. I want each of them to know the excitement and worry and all of the crazy good that is pregnancy and motherhood. But alas, I can't change what is. It is very hard to tell those most close to you...those women who have walked this journey with you, that you are now pregnant. I have been fortunate to have their full love and support but it is still very difficult to tell them something that you know will bring pain to their hearts, despite the sincere happiness they have for you. I've been on that side. I know the feeling.



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Another feeling that I, and many others, experience is jealousy. Say what?! I know what you're thinking. I'm pregnant. Move on! I know, I know. It's so hard to explain but the words "we weren't even trying" or "it happened our first time" still bring a sting to my heart. While I rejoice in our blessing, there is still that achy part of me that wishes our journey to our miracle was not so laden with tears.



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I also struggle with worry. My PCOS puts me at a higher risk for miscarriage. At the time of this post, I am 4 months pregnant. I've felt my little one move a few times and my growing belly shows promise. These things are amazing and wonderful, but I still worry. I still worry about the health of our unborn child. I worry about what may or may not happen. I have to daily place our sweet babe in the Lord's hands.



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Now, before you get bogged down in the less than desirable things...I confess that my heart is so full and my soul continually rejoices over the miracle that I carry. God has blessed our little family with another child and for that I will be forever grateful.

Throughout your infertility journey you will face multiple ups and downs. The most important thing is to not lose heart and to never give up. You're miracle may be right around the corner...and remember, no matter how you decide to fill your home with the pitter patter of little feet, you will be blessed.



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Linking up for Thoughts for Thursday

Bump to Birth: 4 Months

Month 4



Size: Avocado

Symptoms: spotting, nausea, sore breasts, sinus pressure, achy teeth, tired, constipation, smell sensitivity, round ligament pain

Emotions: anxious about spotting, frustrated with my sinuses, looking forward to our next appointment, excited about making our anatomy scan appointment

Doctor's Visit: December 30th-great news from the ultrasound. We say the baby sucking it's thumb, kicking and punching. Heart rate @ 160
                        January 2nd-ultrasound due to more bleeding. The baby was well and there was no obvious reason for the bleeding.
                        January 8th-Level 2 ultrasound to check for cause of bleeding and to ensure the baby was okay. We saw the baby drinking the amniotic fluid, kicking and punching. Heart rate @ 165
                        Next appointment scheduled for January 30th.

Movement: Felt baby for the first time on January 2nd...sliding, little pops and thumps

Cravings: orange juice, McChicken sandwiches, eggs, French toast, iced coffee

Aversions: homemade macaroni and cheese and mayo

According to Big Sister: When she is asked where the baby is, she pats her own belly. She loves looking at the ultrasound pictures.

Memories:
-Seeing the baby move.

-Faintly hearing the heartbeat.

-Entertaining big sister's interest in potty training.

-Spending wonderful outdoor time as a family.

-Finding out our friends are expecting twins!!!

-Trying a new (to us) little restaurant, Southern Plenty. Everything was delish!

-Meeting up with some of our dearest friends for a quick catch up.

The Back Story//Months 1-3

Linking up with Mommy Moments

Sweet Moments

I've made it through another week. It's been filled with a lot of sweet moments...

[Sidewalk Chalk and Sunshine]

It was gorgeous on Monday. We decided to enjoy the sunshine and play a little outside.  We broke out the sidewalk chalk. G loved seeing the colors show up with each mark on the sidewalk. Daddy came home just in time to join in.

[Taking a Break]

We decided to take a break from potty training after this first week. The attempts may have been a little premature despite her signs of readiness. We're all happier for it and who knows,  she'll be two in April and maybe the interest will return.

[Making Muffins]

I love getting G involved in the kitchen. Since she needed some muffins for the coming week's breakfast anyway, we decided to make some. She had the best time and I got her breakfast ready for the week...double win!

[Floor Plans]

We're at a crossroads of sorts. We know what we'd like as a general floor plan for our forever home but it's been difficult finding one that will not only fit our wishes but our budget as well. There are certain expenses that we unfortunately will have when build for things that we have to include...for instance we'll have to pay several thousands of dollars to have the water lines run since they weren't put on the property a few years ago when the county came through and ran the lines (it's a lengthy story that I'll spare you) and we'll have to fence in a large area to accommodate and provide safety for our four dogs. I wish we had a larger budget but things are what they are. We'll figure it out. Any advice for this process is welcome.

[Save the Baby Humans]

Sunday is Sanctity of Life Sunday. We reflect on the thousands of babies that are aborted each year. Personally the thought makes me sick to my stomach and it makes my heart ache. It makes my heart break for the women who feel they have no other choice or who have been misled to believe that what they carry is nothing more than a clump of cells. At 8 weeks our baby looked like a clumpy ball...but there was a heartbeat!  We saw a heartbeat!  The heart often begins beating by 6 weeks which is often around the time a lot of women first learn of their pregnancies. It also makes my heart sick to think of all the lives that are lost..all of the children that will never grace this world. I can only hope that we can love those women/couples enough to show them that there are other options and that what they have is an amazing gift to share with the world.

Linking up for Oh Hey Friday!  and Five on Friday. 

Shout Out

June 2014

So there is this guy...he's humble, optimistic,  generous and selfless. He provides for his family, risks his life to save others and willingly rocks his little one to sleep.

This same guy loves the Lord. He is instilling that love in his daughter and he leads by example. He has a heart of service and doesn't think twice about helping those in need.

He is honorable, compassionate and empathetic. Even so, he is strong, courageous and determined. He is a leader both in life and in his home.

This very same guy was designed and chosen by my gracious God to be my husband and a wonderful father to our children.  With all that life has thrown us, especially lately, he proves over and over again that true love exists. His selflessness and thoughtfulness abound. I don't think he realizes how much it means when he takes it upon himself to tend to G or have the house cleaned before I get home. The times that he has dinner ready despite what day I've had melts my heart. God broke the mold with this one...and I'm so grateful that he's the one I get to spend my life with.

October 2008

Linking up with Annie

21 Months

Weight: 32 lbs 3 oz

Height: about 3'

Shoe size: 5-6

Clothing: 2t

I'm going to stop blinking.  I feel like every time I do my little girl has grown far too much. Our beauty is now 21 months old. It's hard to believe that in just 3 months we'll be hosting her 2nd birthday party. I have a theme but the details are still coming together.

We've seen a lot of fun things here lately. She has begun approaching the world of potty training.  I don't know as though it's the right time but we've at least been trying it. We've had a few successes.

She is so active!  She loves to run and play both inside and out. She is now trying to jump and it keeps us laughing. She loves to twirl and dance whether there is music or not. I believe she lives with a song in her heart. She also loves to read books and color. She is so much fun!

She's started to enjoy dressing up. Things that are sparkly and pretty definitely catch her eye. She likes wearing bows and headbands and often insists that we put them in her hair.

She talks...a lot! "I got it" and "stop" are two of her favorite new phrases. I suppose these are just more examples of her trying to exert her independence. However,  as she exerts this independence,  she's also become more stranger anxious. Leaving her in the church nursery has become a heart breaking task as she clings and cries. Hearing her call our names as we leave is really hard.

She's pretty much over the two naps a day routine. She normally naps from 11am to 1pm and then she's in bed between 7:30 and 8:00. Typically she sleeps all night.

One of the most exciting things is that she is going to be a big sister in July. She loves her baby dolls and likes to point to the baby in Mommy’s tummy. However,  she is not a fan of us holding other children. This could be tough.

Overall, our journey with her remains amazing.  I'm certain that life will only get better.

Made With Love

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The last few months have had us inconsistently attending church. We've had a variety of sicknesses that we've had to deal with G, my morning sickness, bed rest, travel, etc. I think we're all out of the woods for now (except for my moderate bed rest) and we're ready to get back to some normalcy. It was wonderful to praise and worship with my church family yesterday.

Our pastor began a new series in Genesis. The book of Genesis opens with God creating the world. There were moments in his sermon that I became very overcome with emotion. I attribute it to the pregnancy hormones and the Spirit moving...God was speaking to my heart. Our pastor spoke on the reason behind God's creation. He made us to have a relationship with us. He fashioned us to enjoy this world, to connect with Him, and to share His love with others. There were moments when I just sat in awe of how the God who created the universe and all that I ever have and will know, is the same God who loves me and created me for a purpose.

He went on to talk about how God took so much care to make everything. That includes us. He knit us together in His image. I became teary as I reflected on this truth. Not only did He make me with love, but our daughter...she is one of the most precious gifts He's given us up to this point. And while in my biased opinion I deem her perfect, in reality, she was perfectly knitted together by her Creator. He designed our daughter with tender loving care, placed her in my womb and then in our arms. The sentiments continued as I hugged my growing belly. The sweet babe that I now carry continues to be knitted together with just as much love. I just imagine God taking His hands and forming this child. I imagine Him instructing every part to grow and I can almost see the smile on His face as this babe wiggles around.

It's humbling. It's humbling to think that I was chosen to carry these children and to bring them into this world. Our pastor touched on the fact that God initially made this world and saw that it was good. Of course sin entered the world and has since destroyed much of what was once good...but we can still look around and see God's goodness. I see it on the face of my daughter and in the faces of my first grade students. I see it in the way my husband loves and cares for us. I see it in the way we are ceaselessly provided for. I see it in the sunrise and the fiery sunsets. It would take forever to list the ways in which God's goodness is still alive and well in this world.

I look at my daughter and think of this new babe. I think of the promise that they hold. God has placed them into existence for an amazing purpose, and while it can become overwhelming at times to think about the responsibility that it entails for us as their parents, I remain in awe of how God uses us and will eventually use them to grow His Kingdom.

All of this brings me to one overall thought. We were made with love. We were fashioned with great things in mind. We all contain talents and skills that only we can use to make change in the lives of others. Today...challenge yourself to use (and maybe discover) your talents and skills to touch others' lives. Also today, and everyday, remember you are loved no matter what the world tries to tell you. Instill this message into your children.

Mommy Moments Link Up

Potty Training Makes the List

Hello Friday! It's a teacher work day and that will mean productivity...hopefully.  Now for this week's five...

[ 1 ]
Potty training has commenced at our house. G used the potty for the first time on Wednesday and I was thrilled! I'm still getting over the shock. We discovered that she doesn't like wet underwear., so maybe that will be an incentive. This will be a long process for sure but prayerfully we'll have major success before baby #2 makes its debut in July.

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[2]
Hello World! I just have to send a huge shout out to my sister-cousin (I swear our families swapped us at some point) and her husband on the birth of their little beauty, Annalise.

[3]
Snow days are wonderful. I will say I was surprised by the one we had this week simply because there was only a dusting,  but I'll take it. It meant more time with my sweet girl. We colored, made cookies and worked on using the potty.

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[4]
My best friend recently went on a mission trip to Russia. She lovingly allows me to live vicariously through her travels...and she always thinks of us. She sent some amazing gifts back from her trip.

[5]
Christmas has since passed...and our decorations are still up. Embarrassing.  With me having been on bed rest for a couple weeks and now on moderate bed rest, things have been going in slow motion. I at least hope to have them put away by Easter (haha...or within the next week or so.)

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Linking up with 

The Farmer's Wife

and

Carolina Charm

Bump to Birth: Months 1-3

*I know a lot of people document their pregnancy by weeks. I have chosen to document monthly. The symptoms, cravings, ect. may seem lengthy but these are things experienced throughout the duration of the specified month.


Month 1

When we knew...October 31, 2015

Size: Poppy seed

Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, restless sleep, smell sensitivity, decreased appetite, round ligament pain

Emotions: anxious about ultrasound, excited, nervous about sharing the news and when to do so

Doctor's Visit: Nurse visit scheduled for November 26th
                         First ultrasound scheduled for December 2nd

Movement: none

Cravings: none

Aversions: none

According to Big Sister: She does not like it when I hold other babies. This will be something we'll have to work on.

Memories:
-Sharing the news
-Our trip to Carter's Mountain with the Bartley Familiy

-The Fall Festival at church

Month 2

Size: Raspberry

Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, decreased appetite, round ligament pain, tender breasts, bloating

Emotions: anxious, nervous, excited about the holidays

Doctor's Visit: November 26th-review of history, 24 hour urine collection, blood work
                         First ultrasound scheduled for December 2nd

Movement: none

Cravings: cheese pizza, spaghetti, Dunkin Donut holes, grilled cheese with bacon

Aversions: raw carrots, the smell of pine, the smell of Slim Jims/jerky

According to Big Sister:  She will now occasionally point to or rub my tummy when asked where the baby is.

Memories:
-I had a wonderful meeting with my Infertility Bible Study group
-A visit with my dear friend Laura S.

-A visit from Becca (my former housemate)

-Celebrated Thanksgiving with the Galbreaths' and family

-Cried during Frozen and How to Train Your Dragon 2


Month 3

Size: Plum

Symptoms: achy teeth, very emotional, nausea, fatigue, vivid dreams, smell sensitivity, decreased appetite, round ligament pain, headaches, light bleeding/spotting

Emotions: excited about telling family and friends at Christmas, sad we had to miss the traditional Christmas parade, looking forward to having my mom come up to visit, afraid of what the bleeding may mean and what it could lead to, frustrated, sad about not being able to do anything for the week of Christmas because I was put on bed rest, elated to see the baby on the ultrasound for the first time

Doctor's Visit: December 2nd-saw baby for the first time

                        December 19th-ultrasound to check on the status of the baby and to try and determine a cause for the bleeding and spotting

                         Another ultrasound scheduled for December 30th because of bleeding

Movement: none

Cravings: iced coffee, kettle corn, cheese pizza

Aversions: raw carrots, chili

According to Big Sister: She likes to take her stethoscope and place it on my tummy. She'll then go "bum-bum" to mimic the heartbeat.

Memories:
-Receiving Christmas presents in the mail
-Jamberry Nails party with friends
-Pajama/gingerbread house party at the Bartley's house

-Celebrating Christmas with extended family

-Began wearing maternity pants thanks to baby bloat
-December 19th: I woke up at 4:30am not feeling normal. I went to the bathroom to discover that I was having some light bleeding. I was terrified. I woke up Clinton and we laid there together, prayed and cried in those early morning hours. I can't express the ache that was in my heart and the fear that was wrecking my soul. I called my doctor as soon as they opened and they got me in that day. An internal exam and an ultrasound were done. My cervix was closed and there was no obvious cause for the bleeding. They easily saw the baby and its heartbeat on the monitor. I was put on bed rest for the next two weeks (I was put on moderate bed rest thereafter until my appointment at the end of January). 
-Spending time with my mom

-Christmas 2014 with family
-Finding out that my cousin is due two weeks after me!
-Getting the news of two additional new babies due in the coming fall.

The Back Story

Linking up with Home of Malones