My One Little Word: Wisdom

In 2017 I felt led to focus on the one little word, "Lean". I focused on scripture, Proverbs 3:5-6.

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I could not have imagined the circumstances in which the Lord would use these verses in my life. Last year was hard. My anxiety was at an all time high and I have continued to have personal struggles. Through it all though, I have come back to those verses. I embraced, some times hesitantly, but embraced nonetheless, what it means to really lean into the Lord. Some of the things we faced were far beyond my realm of understanding and it was in my darkest moments that God reminded me of His sovereignty and His ability to bring peace to my heart in the chaos.  

I recently reflected on the areas that I would choose to focus on and I feel like I've gained some maturity in a lot of areas. I still have many weaknesses and to say that I learned to lean into God in all areas or in all circumstances would be a false statement. However, I have grown in a lot of ways and I more readily find myself allowing Him to be my safe place.

2018 has brought about a new focus and a new word. This year's one little word is "Wisdom". Through various devotions, comments, and personal reading, I have found the theme of wisdom woven throughout. The message has become clear to me. I need to seek wisdom in this next year. Although I can never be 100% as to what things will look like or how life will go, I do feel certain about some of the areas in which I will be intentionally seeking wisdom, with an overall goal of seeking God's wisdom in all things.

The scripture that I have chosen to focus on is James 1:5. 

You can find this lovely wallpaper here. I am using it as the lock screen on my phone. It will serve as a continuous reminder to seek wisdom as well as help me memorize the scripture. 

I will seek wisdom in...

-My time. I will not overcommit and I will leave white space in my schedule to practice self care. I will make a date night with my husband at least one night each month. I will spend quality time with my children.

-My routines. I will seek direction in developing cleaning and lesson planning routines that will allow me to feel less overwhelmed. 

-My health. I will continue to seek the right doctors for my symptoms and I will continue to work towards their health goals for me. I will take charge of my eating habits and return to low carb eating. I will make time for rest.

-My relationships. I am open and honest in my relationships with others and this can sometimes lead to hurt feelings. I will seek wisdom in my responses and reactions and pray for the right words, if any, for the situations and conversations I encounter. 

-My anxiety. I will seek God's wisdom when it comes to determining what is a "real threat" and what is merely perceived. I used to be such a glass half full person and Satan has attacked my confidence and assurance in ways I never dreamed. I have been struggling with my anxiety and it is my goal to practice self-care and to take my anxieties to the Lord and compare them against His Word.

-Our finances. We will seek His wisdom with our finances. This includes tithing, savings, and where and what to spend our money on. 

I am actually really excited to see how God reveals Himself this year as I seek His wisdom. I have some big, God sized dreams and I look forward to see how the Lord brings them to fruition.

Do you make resolutions? Set goals? Do you pick one little word? I'd love to hear from you!

The Kids Behind the Blog: August 2017

It's time for this month's TKBTB link up!

If you could change one of your family's rule, what would change?

I would let us have 3 desserts a day!

Are you a good friend? Why or why not? 

Yeah, because I am nice and pretty. I'm a good friend because I love people!

Where is your favorite place in the whole world? 

My favorite place is ummm...the carnival! I love to ride the strawberries and the helicopters with my daddy.

If you could invent anything in the world, what would it be? 

I would make a wish for my family and make something that could cook our food.

(I don't think she is clear on the word "invent" and I am hoping she wants to invent something that would cook the food so mommy wouldn't have to lol)

What are you most excited about this year in school? 

I love going to school because school is my favorite. I like to play and dance and read a story. Oh and the music!

This year G will be in Pre-K and N will be starting in the 2 year old class. My babies are getting so big!

Book Reviews: July 2017

With my summer winding down, I have been franticly trying to get in some good reading time. School starts and I'm back to work on the 7th and my time will become much more limited. Here are the books I made it through in July.

Hope Harbor by Irene Hannon

This book was recommended to me by a friend. It was a sweet story about a man who visits a small town of great significance. The people he meets there end up changing his life for the better. If you want a feel good read, this would be it.

Teach with Your Heart by Erin Gruwell

This was an incredibly inspiring book. Erin and her class are the ones whose life stories were made into the movie, Freedom Writers. I personally love the movie and I was excited find Erin's memoir. It was even better and more thought provoking than I had hoped. I actually read this book during a pretty heated racial protest in the area where my husband is a firefighter. A lot of what I read hit home in ways I did not expect. This book is a keeper.

He Said She Said: Michael & Maria by Shannon Lane

It is a pretty typical story about a privileged girl and a handsome boy who spend the summer together. It is your typical summer romance, but I enjoyed it as a quick read.

Something Blue by Emily Giffin

I'll admit it, I hated the main character for the longest time in this book. I was beginning to wonder if anything would happen that would ultimately make me like her. The story takes some interesting turns, and as always, Giffin does not disappoint. By the end, I at least began to like the main character.

Big Girl Panties by Stephanie Evanovich

I. Love. This. Book. The main character was someone I could relate to in so many ways. The author chooses a very unlikely heroine as her main character...one I adored. Her plight after her husband's death, her grit and transformation, and the ending all came together to form such a great, and unusually inspiring story. For reasons I won't mention, I found myself encouraged and cheering her on. Now if only I could get my hands on more books Evanovich has written! Our library only carries this one and then one of her books on CD. I'd love to listen to it while driving but her books are not really for little ears lol.

To check out what others are reading, check out this month's link up!

Learning to Lean-Mid Year Update

At the beginning of the year, I felt led to live the word "Lean" throughout the following months. It has been hard.

I've tried to embrace the scripture when difficulties arise, when the darkness seems to swallow the light...I've had a lot of anxiety lately. It's the kind that keeps your mind spinning at night. Worst case scenarios pop into your head and you cannot close your eyes because you know you'll see your deepest fears played out. What is harder still is talking to others about it. Maybe I am not as strong as everyone thinks I am.

I have grappled with grief in unexpected moments. It seems to hit the hardest when I realize how happy I am. It sounds strange but it seems like that is how survivor guilt works.

I've wrestled with anxiety and lost countless hours of sleep. I have allowed thoughts to bring on near panic attacks. I have physically felt the strain that my emotions have put on my body.

During some recent quiet reflection, I just kept saying, "enough is enough. I cannot keep living life like this." At that moment I realized what I had been neglecting to do. I had forgotten to lean. If you go back to the action words I just mentioned...

spinning

grappled

wrestled

lost

Do you see "lean" on that list? Me neither.

I am not meant to carry the weight of these burdens. I am not meant to live a fear filled, anxiety ridden life.

In fact, scripture clearly states the opposite:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness. John 10:10

We are designed and intended to live a full and abundantly blessed life.

Satan does not call me by name. He calls me by my insecurities. He calls me by my fears and anxieties. He calls me by all the things that I cannot control. When I stop and just listen...be still and sincerely listen, I hear my name. I hear Beloved. I hear "you are Mine." (Isaiah 43:1)

When I am not leaning on God and only rely on my [in]ability to understand the emotions within me and the world around me, I find myself on an overwhelming obstacle course. However, when I lean on Christ, my path is made straight. I may not know why or where I am going, but I can rest assured He has laid the road before me.

I will continue to learn what it means to lean into my Savior. I will call His name to bring forth light in the darkness. I will declare His name to the enemy that aims to riddle my thoughts with fears and shortcomings. I will continue on.

I want to leave you with this song by Hillsong United that has left an impression on my heart. Let the words seep in and wash away the lies you have been believing. He has carried you all this way. Lean into His embrace.

Fate
Holds nothing on the providence I know
No longer bound to things of wood and stone
When all I had to offer was my worst
You saw my heavy heart and loved me first
Your beauty staring down my brokenness
You chose to throw Your heart into the mess
Compassion crashing down upon my debt You were there

All this time
Like a river running through my failure
You carried me all this time
Like the splinters buried in
Your shoulders You carry me now

Royally Waiting Link up #22

I've been taking some time to enjoy my family this summer. The days have been going by so quickly that I have not had time to sit and blog lately. While it is something I enjoy, time with my ever growing little ones takes precedent. With that said, I'm back again for this week's link up!

Revising...

My hubby has officially gone back to school. He will be getting his BAS in Emergency Management. He'll be taking one course at a time since he is still working full time. His course this semester is an English Research class. As the lover of English and literature, I am his acting editor. A couple times a week you'll find me using the children's nap time to proof read his papers. I am so proud of him for taking this step!

Seeking...

I have been seeking guidance on a couple of ventures lately. Hopefully I'll have more to share soon!

Dreaming...

We meet with our builder this week to begin the process of picking out all the details of our house. We'll decide on counter tops, fixtures, exterior colors, etc. The list is a mile long but I cannot wait! This puts us one step closer to breaking ground. Here are a few items and or pictures of inspiration.

The dining room chandelier

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Pendant island lighting

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A likely choice for our entertainment center

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I'm swooning over this clock

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Eating...

Low carb eating can have its challenges, especially when it comes to sweets. I have no intention of giving up my sweets, but I do try to make intentional choices. Halo Top ice cream fits the bill and while I've only tried the Peanut Butter Cup, I am sold. Bring on the flavors!

I hope this finds all of you well and I can't wait to see what you've been up to.

The Kids Behind the Blog: July 2017

June flew by! I feel as though I blinked and our summer is half way over! I'm trying to soak in every spare second with my littles. Hopefully July will be slower in passing. However, with July in full swing, it's time for the Kids Behind the Blog link up. Join the fun!

What do you need to make s’mores? 

-marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers

What is your favorite summertime treat? 

-chocolate cookies

Would you rather fly in an airplane or ride on a ship? 

-Ride on an airplane because I did not ride on one before.

How would you change the world if you could? 

-Be a happy person to everyone.

What comes after summer?

-Winter-fall...?

Needless to say, we've made a few s'mores over the summer lol. I'm not sure where the "chocolate cookies" answer came from because all summer she has asked for ice cream or popsicles. We also apparently need to work on our seasonal transitions.

I cannot wait to see what everyone else's little ones had to say.

Book Reviews: June 2017

Ah, summertime. Here are a few books I've been able to get through this month.

These reviews are my personal opinions and I have not been compensated in any way for sharing my thoughts.

Home Landscaping Southeast Region by Roger Holmes and Rita Buchanan

As we prepare for our new house to be built, I'm constantly looking for landscaping ideas. I am far from having a green thumb, but I plan on giving it my best shot. This book had great visuals and is very "how to" friendly. It also recommended plant groupings/pairings that would be appropriate for our region.

Joshua: A Parable for Today by Joseph F. Girzone

This story was beautifully written. As the story opens, I was immediately drawn towards the main character and I eagerly read through the pages to know him more. The outlook on faith and religion is pretty on point from my personal view and I loved how the overall message was that God is love.

The One and Only by Emily Giffin

Giffin has a new reader. I could not put her book down, and thanks to my hubby managing the kids, I was able to read through most of the book in a day. Yay for "me time"! The story combines a little romance and football...two of my favorite things. I was so caught up in the details that I was sad when the story ended.

Room by Emma Donoghue

I was captivated from the very beginning. This novel shares the story of a young woman and her son who have been forced to live their lives inside a small room. It goes through their journey, both inside and outside of that room. I was engrossed throughout the entire book.

Where We Belong by Emily Giffin

Yep, another Giffin book. I can't help myself! This story takes an interesting turn as the main characters big secret is revealed. I wish the story had a slightly different ending, but that is the hopeless romantic in me. Overall, it was a great read.

Jacob and Lily

This is the second book in this series, however, I did not realize that until I was well into reading the story about two young teens trying to navigate their way through high school. Most people would consider this story Young Adult Fiction, but due to some of the explicit scenes and verbiage, it was cataloged under adult at our library. I did enjoy the book. It was a quick read and I look forward to reading more of Layne's work.

Linking up for WWRW