Family Time: Quality vs. Quantity

Quality and quantity are two words that a lot of people want to interchange, but these two words mean very different things.

According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary, QUALITY means "a high level of value or excellence." QUANTITY means "a number or amount of something." As families, it is wonderful when we can incorporate both, but often times we find ourselves thinking that the quantity is more important than the quality.

We often think that if we have our children and/or ourselves involved in multiple activities, groups, and organizations, then we are living life at its optimum level. Eventually we crash and we realize we missed out on a lot of important things with our children. Things that only we could appreciate if we were to spend some true parent-child time together.

Think about how you are treating time with your children. We can be present without actually present. It is essential, no matter how much or how little time we can allot with our children, that we are truly into what is going on with them. Make sure your children know they are being heard. I know when we are multitasking we often throw out the general "yeah" and "oh really?" and "uh-huh" with the occasional nod in an attempt to seem interested. Our children are not dumb. They can detect sincerity. I've seen this with my own children and even with my students. A couple minutes of  one-on-one, devoted conversation can change the course of a child's day. Let them be heard.

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This world would have us believe we need to constantly look out for number one. I'm reminded regularly that this is not so. This type of mentality continues to lead to problems the world over and we can begin breaking the cycle in our own homes. We can begin by listening to our children. We can begin showing them that they really do matter.

My husband has been super short staffed at work for the last few months. He works multiple 72 hour shifts, often with only a day or two in between at home. His work keeps him away from home and our three year old misses him dearly. On the days he is off, he tries to take advantage of that time. He may take her out for a Daddy-Daughter date for ice cream. He may take her to the park to play. He may rent a movie that she wants to see, make some popcorn, and watch it with her. Sure he could leave her to her own devices while he sits and relaxes in his reclining chair, but instead, he involves her. We are far from perfect parents but we try to make a valiant attempt to make memories with our children. We don't want them to remember us as just being there. We want them to remember us as involved, in tune, and completely in love with who they are.

If we strive to imitate Christ, we will find these attempt more like second nature. Our Savior does not cast aside because He has one thousand other, more important, things going on. He ensures that He devotes intentional time for each of His children. I'm not saying we should compare ourselves to God, because we would never even come close. The point is to strive to follow His example. If He deems time with His children so important, then I believe so should we. I encourage you to take a moment or two and step back. Look at what time with your children looks like. Be intentional. Be involved. Be imitators of Christ.

Linking up with Mommy Moments

It's a Boy...

This time last year was super exciting. We were eagerly awaiting the time that we would share the news of our second pregnancy with our families. We knew we'd do it at Christmas and we chose just how we'd make it an extra special surprise for everyone.

A couple months later we got the news that we were having a boy!

I remember hearing those words and watching my husband literally come out of his seat with excitement. I was thrilled at what this meant for us, but a little anxious as I had been a "girl mom" for the last year and a half. It was a journey I was ready to take and I could not wait to add him to our little family.

Over this last week I've been struck with some pretty strong emotions as I reflect, not only on these things, but on advent and the birth of our Savior. I've always been drawn to Mary's story and this year was no exception. However this year, I saw things a little differently.

I imagine Mary. She was a modest, humble girl whose life and faith had found her favor with God. I cannot imagine Mary's whirlwind of emotions as an angel of the Lord explained the coming events. She would become pregnant by the way of a miraculous conception. She would give birth to a son, the Son of God and He would be called Jesus.

When we found out we were expecting, we were elated. We couldn't wait to share the news with family and friends because we knew we would be met with love and congratulatory remarks. However, as you read through Mary's story, she and Joseph were less likely to be met with open arms. They were yet to be married and they could not explain how or why this miracle was laid upon them. I cannot conceive the weight upon their shoulders.

Mary, along with her husband, eventually experienced this world altering birth. However, in those quiet moments after His arrival, I see them just as any other couple. I see a proud father in awe of the tiny fingers that wrap around his pinky. I imagine Mary, holding her baby boy closely to her chest, breathing him in as he settles down to the sound of her familiar heartbeat. I think back to those sweet, silent moments with my own son.

These thoughts have been touching my heart especially tenderly this year. Mary knew from the time of Jesus' conception that He would become the greatest sacrifice and gift that this world has ever known. She would become the mother who would have to watch her son suffer and die on a cross for those who would hate Him. I look into the face of my son and I cannot imagine living with that reality.

I do not know what the Lord has in store for our son. I do not know where the Lord will take him or the lives he will impact. I do, however, know that my son has purpose and promise and that I daily strive to raise him to know and love the Lord.

Mary most certainly faced the same emotions as all mothers. I feel we would have a lot of things in common. Most importantly, we want our children to be raised to know the love of our Savior, to do good for others and to make a difference. So while our responses and lives may vary, our worlds changed forever on the day we heard, "it's a boy!"

Linking up with Mommy Momments

Tips on Raising a Well Mannered Toddler

I have to preface this. We are far from perfect parents as is our toddler. However, we've found a few things that actually seem to be working in our parenting, and one of them is raising a child with manners. It goes without saying that she still has her moments. We've had a few fits and the typical testing of boundaries, but her manners continue to increase. In fact, she's at the point that we rarely have to prompt the appropriate response.

Here are a few tips that we feel have helped us get to this point.

1. Set the example. If you want your child to naturally begin to pick up on the please and thank you cues, you need to be using them yourself. As a teacher, this is one of my biggest pet peeves. I'm always astonished at how many children don't even think to use these when asking or receiving. In fact, with each passing year, the sense of entitlement that comes with each new group seems to be more and more. I won't even go into the lack of respect for adults...I digress. As I said, it has to start at home with you.

2. Encourage. Encourage your child to say please and thank you in everyday activities. Before our daughter gets anything she requests, she has to say please. There have been times that she refuses and quickly finds out that we do not respond to that type of behavior. Side note: She has also learned that just because she says please does not mean she'll always get what she wants. This opens up a new area of learning for our little ones, but she seems to handle it pretty well. We've worked hard with her on learning to say thank you when she is given something. Sometimes we have to prompt her with "what do you say?" and she responds appropriately.  It's even seeped into compliments. She now says thank you when someone compliments her on something. I was surprised when she first did this. It just goes to show that you should never underestimate the abilities of out little ones.

3. Don't give in. Those tantrums can be killer. However, it's better to bear the moment than to set yourself back. I was once told that the tantrums always seem worse to you than others. I learned this to be true the first time she showed her bad attitude at a local store. I felt so embarrassed, but as I looked around, no one was even paying attention to us. With any behavior, consistency and boundaries are key. Say what you mean and mean what you say. As a former behavior specialist and now mother, these things have proven true for any age I've worked with.

4. Start small. Learning common courtesies needs to begin from the time your child is super little. They need to hear these words, observe these actions and be included when possible. The scope of being well mannered and respectful goes far beyond just please and thank you. Beginning to teach your child these things while little can lead to even bigger and better things. It's hard for my first graders to get used to saying please and thank you when they have not been taught it at home. These itty bitty years are so vital in helping them become who they will be in the future.

Think of it this way, if we want kinder, more respectful adults, we need to be raising kinder, more respectful children...and that starts with us.

Linking up with Waiting on Wednesday

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Mommy Moments

Witching Hour Worship

The "witching hour" is an experience that most parents will come to know. It's a period of time where your child cries for what seems like no reason. There is no pacifying them and at times it can be almost maddening. Our daughter had a brief period in which for about an hour, beginning around 9pm, she would cry inconsolably. This time around with our son, we felt a bit more prepared. While the last couple weeks have had us wanting to cry ourselves between the hours of 8 and 10pm, we know that this too shall pass. In fact, the last couple nights have been much better.

As we tried to work through this time with our daughter, we found it best to get her outside. Many nights we could be found sitting on the front porch or walking her around the yard. It was all about survival. It's a bit different now. Having two in the house makes it a bit trickier.

G's bedtime happens to be at the beginning of N's witching hour. On nights that I'm home alone I've had to find ways to adapt. I have placed him in his crib (which is in his sister's room) while I complete my daughter’s nighttime routine. This worked for about 10-15 minutes. I tried getting him to sleep and leaving him in the pack n play downstairs only to have him wake up and begin screaming in the middle of my daughter’s bedtime story. I have brought him up in the bouncer to bounce him as I read to and rock my toddler. This seems to be one of the more successful tactics.

After G is in bed, I turn all of my focus to N in an attempt to calm him and survive the remaining hours. One way that I have found to cope this go around is to sing. I don't choose the typical lullabies. In fact, these times have begun turning into a time of worship. I sing whatever worship songs come to my heart. The singing may or may not calm my son, but it calms my heart as I draw closer to the Lord. As I sing the words I can feel my tension ease and my burdens becoming lighter. It's amazing how blessed I feel and how at peace I can become as I worship during the difficult times so rightly termed the witching hours.

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Linking up with Mommy Momments

Baby N's Trip to the Emergency Department

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A mother's intuition is often a force too be reckoned and rarely disagreed with. I almost never forgo my gut instinct but of course, the one day I do, serious happens. Never again.

I noticed a couple days ago that N's right pectoral muscle seemed a bit hard and slightly larger than his left. We had this happen with G the week after her birth, not 5 weeks later, but even so, I did not read too much into it since with G, the condition was considered normal. It generallly occurs because of hormones passed on from the mother.

When I woke up with him on Friday morning I noticed he was more fussy than normal. He's typically a pretty chill baby. Nothing seemed to make him happy, he wasn't eating well and the swelling in his chest became concerning, especially since he had developed a couple new symptoms.

I was freaking out a little in my head and eagerly awaited my husband to get home from work. When he got home I called our pediatrician, and while she said it could be "normal", she thought it best to bring him in. I wanted to go but with my classroom unfinished and my sub plans needing to be complete, against my better judgment I took G to school to work while my husband took N to the doctor. Even on my drive to school I felt like I should have gone with them.

His appointment was at 10:30 and around 11 I got a call from my hubby. He didn't say anything other than the doctor wanted to talk to me. My heart sunk to my stomache. She proceeded to inform me that she was concerned that he had an infection. She thought it best to send him to the hospital for further testing since it could be potentially harmful. This would mean blood work, possibly a spinal tap and potentially a couple days in the hospital. I know she had to provide the possibilities but I was terrified of the unknown. Afterall, he's only 5 weeks old!

I immediately packed up my work, got G and headed down the hallway towards the exit. I felt prompted to stop in my friend's classroom. I asked her to pray with me over the situation. As she prayed I felt a peace come over me. The Lord was making His presence known.

I called G's baby sitter and made plans to drop her off on my way to the hospital. I dropped her off and quickly stopped at home to grab extra clothes in case he was admitted. As I tried to stop crying I kept praying for his health and wisdom for his doctors. In the midst of my tears and fear, I was led to this verse:

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It served as such a source of reassurance as I waited to hear updates. On my way to the hospital my husband let me know that they had taken blood and were prepping him for an ultrasound. It was killing me to not be there.

Upon arriving at the hospital, I could not get in touch with my husband to find out where I needed to go. I must have called his phone a dozen times. No answer. I finally made my way to the Emergency Department where I spoke with a hospital volunteer at the desk. I informed her that I was there to be with my infant son who had been brought in earlier. She called a nurse to ask if I could "visit" the patient. I kindly made it clear that I was not there to merely visit. I was his mother and needed to be with him. Shortly after I was escorted back to his room.

No one was in there but the relief of finally being there hit me hard. I just started crying (for the 20th time). A med student came and checked on me and did not seem confident in me when I told him that I really was ok. He gave me a brief update and eventually allowed me to just sit in peace. After what seemed like forever,  my husband and baby were wheeled back into the room. I immediately picked up my son and of course,  cried again.

We waited for a long while on the results. The doctors were surprised, but pleased to announce that his tests came back clear. He had NO sign of infection. He did have some inflammation but could not find an infectious cause. They eventually allowed us to be discharged with the understanding that we would need to maintain monitoring and follow up with our pediatrician.

We 100% attribute the good news to the Lord's healing. The doctors can't explain the lack of infection but we know that it is God's intervention and response to numerous prayers. Afterall, He is the Great Physician.

Linking up with Mommy Momments

Name Them One by One

One thing about caring for a newborn means that I'm awake...a lot. It may be in a drone like state most of the time but I'm awake nonetheless. In the daybreak hours the past few days I've been doing a lot of reflecting on our current circumstances and how God's hand is evident everywhere. It's easy to get wrapped up in worry, bogged down in bitterness and caught up in self-centered thoughts. It's even more easy to do when your sleep deprived. Satan is shameless and will use your weakened state to wedge in negativity. However, we have the power to combat the battles against us. God gives us the ability to see the beauty from ashes if we'll only take the time to look.

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I've been taking some time to really focus on our blessings. With so much that is and seems wrong in the world around us, it's vital that I remember that there is still so much good. The following is not an exhaustive list of all that I could write down, but it covers some of what has come to mind this morning...

-the birth of our son this week

-the fiery spirit that is our daughter

-financial provision

-Our church family

- dedicated friends

-my mom coming in tomorrow

-awake to see the sunrise

-Finding large ticket items (for baby) for less than half the orginal price

-caring and committed medical experts

-the biliblanket  (it means we can treat our son's condition at home instead of the hospital)

-July is filled with birthdays

-my amazing husband

While I could go on and on, I'll spare you. I do hope, that despite your circumstances today and in the coming days, that you'll take some time to count your blessings. Name them one by one and I think you'll be amazed at what the Lord has done.

Linking up for Tuesday Talk

Mealtimes With a Toddler

Meal time with a toddler can occasionally be challenging…especially when the transition from a high chair to a regular dining chair is concerned. We’ve recently entered into this new face with our daughter who will be 2 in April. Our biggest obstacle is having her remain in her seat throughout the meal. When she was in her high chair, she had no choice but to stay put. While we work on reasonable expectations (e.g. allowing her to get down when she is done and cleaned up as opposed to getting up and down and grazing), we’ve been continuing to work on toddler table manners.

1. Washing hands before the meal. We are trying to make sure that washing her hands eventually becomes second nature. Working with 6 and 7 year olds has taught me the importance of starting this habit super young. It is not something you want them overlooking before meals or after the bathroom. If she does not head straight to the bathroom to wash her hands when we call the meal, we gently remind her and it has not been a problem.

2. Prayer. In our home, praying and giving thanks before our meal is of utmost importance. She eagerly repeats after us at this point and will sometimes jump ahead. Hearing her precious little mouth say “Jesus” and “Amen” melts my heart every time. I feel we are making headway since lately she’ll even say “amen” when she is given a snack.

3. Patience. I personally feel people underestimate the ability of toddlers. G is clearly learning right from wrong and what it means to say “please” and “thank you”. (And then I think, if my toddler can do this, why can’t so many adults? Anyway…) One skill we’re working on is patience. Toddlers can naturally be very egocentric, which is age appropriate. Even so, they can be taught what is appropriate. With this comes the virtue of patience. She is learning that yelling or demanding will not get her the things that she wants. If Mommy or Daddy is in the middle of something, she is learning that she may have to wait to get what she wants. She is also learning that saying please may not always result in getting what she wants (e.g. a cookie for breakfast). This is important for even meal times. We want her to learn that even at mealtime she may have to wait her turn and may not be able to have what she wants at the exact moment she wants it. I’m pleased to say that we’ve seen so much good from working through this difficult concept.

4. Trying food. I was raised by a mother who, because of her raising, was taught that if it’s on your plate, it will be eaten. It did not matter if you did not like. It did not matter how much there was. If it was thrown away, that was considered being wasteful and that was not okay. I completely appreciate the thoughts behind this premise but it is something I have had to change since becoming an adult. The idea of eating everything that is on your plate can be detrimental when trying to be healthy. It makes more sense to put leftovers in the fridge and focus on portion size. I want G to be adventurous when trying new foods, but I do not want to force her to eat something that she completely dislikes. We encourage her to at least try something new, which she typically does. She lets us know immediately whether or not it is something she likes. Because of this, I feel we have a really good eater. We have not dealt with too many picky-eater moments. We also re-introduce the foods that she originally didn’t like from time to time just to see if her tastes have changed.  

5. Clean up. I’m not sure when G got so tall, but she easily puts things in the sink and on the counter. Because of this, we’ve been having her take her plate and silverware into the kitchen and placing it on the counter or in the sink. If her plate has been cleared of all food, she puts it in the sink. Otherwise it goes on the counter. She loves the chance to be such a big girl and will even sometimes get to help with washing the dishes.

I know every parent has a way of doing things and this is just ours. Parenthood is one episode of trial and error after another. If you have any creative ways of maintaining toddler mealtime, I’d love to hear them!

Mommy Moments Link-up

Made With Love

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The last few months have had us inconsistently attending church. We've had a variety of sicknesses that we've had to deal with G, my morning sickness, bed rest, travel, etc. I think we're all out of the woods for now (except for my moderate bed rest) and we're ready to get back to some normalcy. It was wonderful to praise and worship with my church family yesterday.

Our pastor began a new series in Genesis. The book of Genesis opens with God creating the world. There were moments in his sermon that I became very overcome with emotion. I attribute it to the pregnancy hormones and the Spirit moving...God was speaking to my heart. Our pastor spoke on the reason behind God's creation. He made us to have a relationship with us. He fashioned us to enjoy this world, to connect with Him, and to share His love with others. There were moments when I just sat in awe of how the God who created the universe and all that I ever have and will know, is the same God who loves me and created me for a purpose.

He went on to talk about how God took so much care to make everything. That includes us. He knit us together in His image. I became teary as I reflected on this truth. Not only did He make me with love, but our daughter...she is one of the most precious gifts He's given us up to this point. And while in my biased opinion I deem her perfect, in reality, she was perfectly knitted together by her Creator. He designed our daughter with tender loving care, placed her in my womb and then in our arms. The sentiments continued as I hugged my growing belly. The sweet babe that I now carry continues to be knitted together with just as much love. I just imagine God taking His hands and forming this child. I imagine Him instructing every part to grow and I can almost see the smile on His face as this babe wiggles around.

It's humbling. It's humbling to think that I was chosen to carry these children and to bring them into this world. Our pastor touched on the fact that God initially made this world and saw that it was good. Of course sin entered the world and has since destroyed much of what was once good...but we can still look around and see God's goodness. I see it on the face of my daughter and in the faces of my first grade students. I see it in the way my husband loves and cares for us. I see it in the way we are ceaselessly provided for. I see it in the sunrise and the fiery sunsets. It would take forever to list the ways in which God's goodness is still alive and well in this world.

I look at my daughter and think of this new babe. I think of the promise that they hold. God has placed them into existence for an amazing purpose, and while it can become overwhelming at times to think about the responsibility that it entails for us as their parents, I remain in awe of how God uses us and will eventually use them to grow His Kingdom.

All of this brings me to one overall thought. We were made with love. We were fashioned with great things in mind. We all contain talents and skills that only we can use to make change in the lives of others. Today...challenge yourself to use (and maybe discover) your talents and skills to touch others' lives. Also today, and everyday, remember you are loved no matter what the world tries to tell you. Instill this message into your children.

Mommy Moments Link Up

12 Books of Christmas...How It Happens in Our Home

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Last year we began the 12 Books of Christmas with our daughter. Beginning on December 13th she opens one book, we read it together, and add it to her book collection. I've had a few people ask me about the logistics and also for a list of the books we've purchased for this tradition.

I begin buying books in January. I purchase one book each month, with my final book bought sometime in December. It works well. I've purchased books online, from Scholastic, thrift stores and consignment sales. All of the books I choose are in new or "like new" condition. I wrap them all and have them set out in the living room.

On the 12th we begin by sitting down as a family and have her open her 1st book of the season. She eagerly sits in anticipation as she waits for us to read the story. These moments are so precious and will hopefully continue to cultivate a love of reading.

As for the books I choose? Honestly it tends to be what strikes me. As a teacher I get the opportunity to look at a lot of books through our library, the collections of other teachers and the annual Book Fair. I make note of books I like and keep an eye out for them as the year goes on. I think back to books I enjoyed as a child and try to include those as well.

Here is a list of books from 2013.

1. Pout-Pout Fish and the Big-Big Dark
2. Curious George
3. Madeline's Christmas
4. Henry's Pirate Surprise
5. Have Fun Molly Lou Mellon (seriously one of my favorites...ever)
6. The Very Busy Spider
7. Who's Peeking at Me?
8. Christmas in the Barn
9. A Charlie Brown Christmas
10. My Little Red Fire Truck
11. God Bless You & Good Night
12. The Family Christmas Treasury (we just read stories from this book from time to time)

On Christmas Day we read the scripture of Jesus' birth. We then open presents and enjoy our time together. I hope you'll find some special ways to make memories with your family this Christmas season.

(I'll do my best to get up our 2014 list soon after Christmas...because I honestly can't remember all of the books that I chose...)

Linking up with Annie for Thoughts for Thursday

Savoring the Season

I know my blog has been kind of quiet lately, but like many bloggers I follow, it's been an intentional slow down. It seems like once Thanksgiving hits, this precious holiday season goes by at warp speed.

Last year we were caught up in all of G's firsts for this time of year.

2013

She's much more aware and interested this year. While I know she may or not remember what we've done with her in these early years, I want to be very present now and always. This has required less computer/phone time and more playing, singing and memory making.

It's so easy to miss the wonder and beauty of this time of year. We have to be intentional in what we do. I'll soon be sharing some our favorite traditions and hopefully some new ones.

I ran across this fabulous free printable and just had to share before heading out to church this morning. It's a fun reminder to not get so caught up in everything. May you steady your pace and savor all that is this season.

OCC

It has been a tradition in our marriage to participate in Operation Christmas Child each year. We select a gender and age group (which we vary every year) and collect items that would be appropriate to send him or her for Christmas.

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Last year we had G shop with us, but seeing as she was still itty bitty, she was basically just along for the ride. This year however, she was much more involved.

We began by collecting our items. There are many suggestions on how and what to pack on the OCC website.

This year we chose to do a boy, ages 5-9. This works out well because my hubby enjoys picking out things for a little boy (since we only have a girl) and I like the age group because it's similar to the age that I teach at school and I have a generally good idea about the things they like.

Some of the items that made their way into the box...

Many churches that participate provide shoe boxes or the official OCC boxes. Our church provided both, but I always opt to send a plastic container. I do this for a few reasons. First, they are more durable. They travel well and are more sturdy. Secondly, they are reusable. The child can keep items in the box and reuse it over and over. Finally, for those who must collect food or water, it serves as a great container to carry such things.

Once we've bought our items, I wrap them in fun colored tissue paper. Some years I wrap each item in wrapping paper. Next year I plan to wrap them in things that can be reused such as handkerchiefs or scarves.

G helped me organize the items in the box.

 

 

Once everything is packaged up I usually write a letter and include a picture. I thought I'd try something different this year. I chose to trace our hands on the box lid and I included a little note: "These hands are being used to pray for you." We then pray over our box, asking the Lord to bless the child that receives it.

The great thing about this project is that anyone can do it! You do not have to be part of a church to send encouragement and gifts to a child somewhere in the world. You can find a drop-off location near you by visiting here. They also have a fun option if you register your box online. You can get a tracking number that allows you to find out which country your box is delivered to. We tried this last year but did not have a successful go. We did not attempt it again this year but may try again in the future.

We love this project and we look forward to it each year. It is one of our objectives as parents to teach our daughter the importance of kindness, gratitude and giving. This simple, fun, family friendly activity reiterates so many of those faith-based characteristics in a hands-on way.

If you haven't joined in this year, I strongly encourage you to do so. You never know how a little box can make big change in the life of another.

Linking up with Annie

Life Verse

Our little girl laughing it up in the pumpkin patch...

When we learned that our journey to baby would include a battle with infertility, we began to examine some things in our lives. Our prayers changed from focusing on what we wanted to what God wanted for us. We longed for a child but knew God, in His infinite wisdom, would fill our hearts' desire  in His time and in His way.

While this wasn't always easy as you can see, it was necessary to change our focus from an earthly here and now to a Heaven-ward patience. During that time of waiting I recalled a former camp staff worker telling me that her parents designated a specific verse for each one of their children. I began to think on this grand idea and sought a life verse to pray for our non-existent child. I was led to the verse in 1 Samuel 1:27.

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This verse became a promise from God to my heart. It gave me comfort when other words could not. I prayed that verse in future tense throughout our TTC journey and my pregnancy. I have that verse placed inside or on many of our daughter's items. I want her to never forget how loved and longed for she was and is.

Quite some time ago we began to pray for God to once again grow our family. I began to seek a life verse to pray for our future child. I was led to Job 5:9.

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This verse sums up my thoughts on TTC with infertility. Every child is a true miraculous blessing, and when you have trouble conceiving it seems to strengthen that understanding all the more. I kept a journal for our daughter from the time I found out we were expecting. Her life verse is on one of the pages and it provides a way for me to track memories for her as she grows. I look forward to passing it along to her one day.

Several months ago i began a journal for the next miracle that will prayerfully make its way into our arms. The verse from Job can be found on the first page. In this journal I've been keeping our thoughts and prayers for this unknown child since we began this new journey. I know God will perform a wonder that will bring joy to our hearts. I trust Him to perform a miracle.

We all have special ways of honoring our journeys. I'd love to hear about yours!

By the way, if you missed my last Mama Mondays post filled with our recent family pictures, you can check it out here!

Linking up with Leslyn

A Time for Everything

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It's been a week of highs and lows...

Let me start from the beginning. Last weekend, after yet another agonizing and yet promising TWW, we discovered that we were once again not pregnant. You would think after continuous months of negatives that I'd be numb or would have found a better way to cope...but nope. I let my hopes fade and the tears fall. Crying is truly therapeutic.

That same weekend I spent a wonderful time with my friend and her daughter at a fall festival and celebrated the birth of our dear friends' little boy. These were such good moments.

These moments were soon overshadowed by some heartbreaking news. My husband's best friend (since elementary school) and his wife lost their 3 month old son to SIDS. I got a call from my husband on Tuesday. He rarely calls up to work but I didn't immediately think anything was wrong. He then proceeded to tell me the tragic news. I could not wrap my brain around it. My heart was and remains so grieved for this family.

Thursday night we went to the Family Visitation at the funeral home. It was seriously one of the saddest experiences I've ever had. I had no words of comfort. I prayed continually as we waited in line to speak to the family. I whispered words to the Heavens as I watched the child's mother stare longingly at the picture slide show as the father took the condolences. I will never forget the pain I saw in his eyes as my husband went up to him and hugged him. As I watched these two strong men cry together my heart broke even more.

I took off work on Friday to attend the graveside service.

The drizzle and drear seemed appropriate for the emotions of the day. We watched as the father carried his son's casket to the area where the service would be held. We gripped each others hands as the mother and remaining immediate family walked past us with tears in their eyes. I looked around at people, bringing love and support for this family, and thought how amazing it was that this tiny little life had touched so many. The service was as sweet as one could be under the circumstances and the message of God's goodness, grace and mercy were woven throughout. The beautiful truth for those who have Christ as their Savior is that death is not the end. I remember that as the service was ending and we all stood in silence, the clouds gave way to sunlight. I couldn't help but think that it was God's way of reiterating that there are still good things to come. While it may take a lot of time for this promise to become a comfort, it is my prayer that it will become just that.

I share this for several reasons.

First, this past week has been a major struggle and I've relied so heavily on my God for understanding, comfort, wisdom and discernment. It is my belief our friends' little one's 103 days on earth were purposeful and that his death, regardless how unfair it seems to our earthly minds, will indefinitely make an impact in Heaven. His passing has drawn me to the Lord in ways that I have not visited in a very long time.

::via::

Secondly, I have delved into the truths found in God's Word for comfort. I've been connecting with God on a whole new level while dealing with our infertility. This connection has only deepened as I've sought after the Lord during this time of darkness. I desperately want to serve as a light for this grieving family and can only do so through His strength, because lets face it, I've been crying on and off since Tuesday and without His help, I'd be no good for anyone.

Lastly, I share this because I want you to hug your little ones a little tighter. Remember that these angels are granted to us to care for, lead, guide and raise in a way that will set them apart and bring glory to God. Love your children fiercely. Appreciate every moment. Get over the messes and embrace them. Every fingerprint, every Cheerio underfoot is something to appreciate.

I know this wasn't an easy read and I appreciate you bearing with me. Please keep our friends in your prayers. The days, weeks, months and years will continue to bring pain with each first that "should have been" and every holiday to come.

Linking up with Leslyn

Can Someone Tell Me How?!

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I am in the midst of planning a girls' weekender with a couple of great gals. The only thing that has me anxious (besides the 5k I'll be participating in while severely out of shape) is leaving G for the first time overnight. Well, two nights if we're getting technical. I know this sounds stupid. She will be left in my husband's very capable hands and I'll only be about 3 hours or so away, but still. I'm really struggling with how I'm going to do this and not allow my worry and the fact that I know I'll miss her like crazy ruin the weekend. I adore the ladies I'll be going with and I know it will be fun. I'm just worried that this mommy will have a really tough time not tucking her little one in at night.

I'll be honest, this anxiety has been coming from some personal things I've been dealing with. We continue our battle with infertility and the reality that she may be the only little one we're ever blessed with makes my heart both rejoice (for at least being blessed with her) and grieve. It makes me want to cling to every single moment I have with her, but in reality I know that I can't lose who I am either. She needs to see her mom as a woman as well. ::sigh:: While I know these are personal issues I'll continue to bathe in prayer, I'm still in need of something, anything that will help this go smoothly.

So, my question to all of you with more experience and/or advice is, how do I do it?! I am in serious need of some insight. Thanks in advance!

Make a wish...

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On this   day, 50 odd years ago, the Lord blessed this earth with one of the most amazing people I've ever known...my mom.

Her life story could make for some really good television and through it all she's managed to carry herself with such grace. She's taught me many things throughout my life...none of which were small tasks.

She taught me...
-to love the Lord above all else
-that I am loved beyond measure
-dreams may change or shatter but I'm never alone
-I am strong
-how to cook
-how to sew
-a love of learning
-band aids are rarely necessary
-if you fall down get right back up
-how to be a good woman
-how to be a great mom
-time is precious
-my priorities should be God, family and everything else

For much of my life she has served as both mom and dad. She has sacrificed so many things for the love and care of my sisters and I

I miss her like crazy! 500 miles between us is just too many and I hate the days that pass between visits.

My wedding day

With baby G at our home.

The three of us during our trip this past summer.

She is an amazing Granna and I know G will learn a lot from her in the years to come. All of this is but a snapshot of the fabulous woman that has raised me and on this day (and everyday) I celebrate. I celebrate a mother who has helped me to become the woman that I am. I also celebrate her as a best friend who I am blessed enough to call mom. With all that being said I want to wish her a very happy birthday...make a wish momma!

Linking up with Annie