Mealtimes With a Toddler

Meal time with a toddler can occasionally be challenging…especially when the transition from a high chair to a regular dining chair is concerned. We’ve recently entered into this new face with our daughter who will be 2 in April. Our biggest obstacle is having her remain in her seat throughout the meal. When she was in her high chair, she had no choice but to stay put. While we work on reasonable expectations (e.g. allowing her to get down when she is done and cleaned up as opposed to getting up and down and grazing), we’ve been continuing to work on toddler table manners.

1. Washing hands before the meal. We are trying to make sure that washing her hands eventually becomes second nature. Working with 6 and 7 year olds has taught me the importance of starting this habit super young. It is not something you want them overlooking before meals or after the bathroom. If she does not head straight to the bathroom to wash her hands when we call the meal, we gently remind her and it has not been a problem.

2. Prayer. In our home, praying and giving thanks before our meal is of utmost importance. She eagerly repeats after us at this point and will sometimes jump ahead. Hearing her precious little mouth say “Jesus” and “Amen” melts my heart every time. I feel we are making headway since lately she’ll even say “amen” when she is given a snack.

3. Patience. I personally feel people underestimate the ability of toddlers. G is clearly learning right from wrong and what it means to say “please” and “thank you”. (And then I think, if my toddler can do this, why can’t so many adults? Anyway…) One skill we’re working on is patience. Toddlers can naturally be very egocentric, which is age appropriate. Even so, they can be taught what is appropriate. With this comes the virtue of patience. She is learning that yelling or demanding will not get her the things that she wants. If Mommy or Daddy is in the middle of something, she is learning that she may have to wait to get what she wants. She is also learning that saying please may not always result in getting what she wants (e.g. a cookie for breakfast). This is important for even meal times. We want her to learn that even at mealtime she may have to wait her turn and may not be able to have what she wants at the exact moment she wants it. I’m pleased to say that we’ve seen so much good from working through this difficult concept.

4. Trying food. I was raised by a mother who, because of her raising, was taught that if it’s on your plate, it will be eaten. It did not matter if you did not like. It did not matter how much there was. If it was thrown away, that was considered being wasteful and that was not okay. I completely appreciate the thoughts behind this premise but it is something I have had to change since becoming an adult. The idea of eating everything that is on your plate can be detrimental when trying to be healthy. It makes more sense to put leftovers in the fridge and focus on portion size. I want G to be adventurous when trying new foods, but I do not want to force her to eat something that she completely dislikes. We encourage her to at least try something new, which she typically does. She lets us know immediately whether or not it is something she likes. Because of this, I feel we have a really good eater. We have not dealt with too many picky-eater moments. We also re-introduce the foods that she originally didn’t like from time to time just to see if her tastes have changed.  

5. Clean up. I’m not sure when G got so tall, but she easily puts things in the sink and on the counter. Because of this, we’ve been having her take her plate and silverware into the kitchen and placing it on the counter or in the sink. If her plate has been cleared of all food, she puts it in the sink. Otherwise it goes on the counter. She loves the chance to be such a big girl and will even sometimes get to help with washing the dishes.

I know every parent has a way of doing things and this is just ours. Parenthood is one episode of trial and error after another. If you have any creative ways of maintaining toddler mealtime, I’d love to hear them!

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