A Girl and a Boy...Now What?

Enough is enough...but how do you decide? How do you know when you are done having kids? For some the answer is simple and concrete. For others there is no definitive answers. Some dream of many but can only have one. Others never dreamed of having any and they end up with a multitude.

I remember soon after our daughter's birth (as in hadn't even left the hospital) people were asking if we were planning on having more children. We had struggled to conceive our daughter, and even though a dream of adding to our family was in our hearts, we really did not know how to answer that question. Of course we wanted more, but whether or not the Lord would grant us more children was a huge unknown. In my heart I hoped He would allow us more children, but to say that we would most certainly have more was not an answer I could give.

When we learned we were pregnant again last fall, we were elated. We had prayed and with the help of medical interventions, we conceived our second child. We were even more excited to find out that we were having a boy! We loved being girl parents and yet we had hoped to experience the sweetness of a little boy. In July of this year I gave birth to a beautiful, red headed little fella. So.In.Love.

Once again, soon after his birth, visitors were asking about our family...but the question was different this time. People were asking us if we were DONE having children since we now had one of each. I did not realize this was such a major assumption. Apparently when you have one of each your family is complete and it's just silly to think of having another.

::via::

I ran across this little ditty about the time I was getting a little flustered with all of the assumptions. It is spot on.

I originally wanted four kids (and honestly, I still do) and my husband was content with two (and honestly, I think he still is). Our last conversation had us agreeing that we will most likely try for at least one more. However, we're not sure how this third child will come to be. Each go at getting pregnant has proven more difficult than the last and this difficulty only increases with age (I'm only 30...but still). We still believe adoption may be a possibility, but we'll have to see how we feel we should proceed when that time comes. Right now we are a ways off. We want G in Kindergarten and our forever home to be built. This gives us at least 3 years. We also don't want to rush this precious time. There are plenty of memories to be made before adding another set of tiny feet to our home.

Despite our feelings, we believe the Lord has already determined the size of our family and we trust Him to bring the number of children that He wills into our home. I joke with my husband that we could have twins in an attempt to have our third child...he doesn't see the humor, but our use of fertility meds ups the chances. We also trust God's timing for our next child despite our timeframe. We also trust Him to bring the perfect child(ren) into our lives as He sees fit, whether I am blessed to carry another child or we open our hearts and home through adoption. His plan is perfection.

Personally, it's hard to think of saying that I'm done having children. I love being a mom and love bringing new life into the world. I kind of get why these couples keep having kids...although 19 is a bit much for anyone's sanity in my opinion. My husband on the other hand looks at everything from a very practical point of view and has no problem setting a limit.

For those of you who have decided to call it quits or for those of you who have decided on "your number", how did you do it? What factors did you consider? What made your decision? I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Linking up for Thoughts for Thursday and Mommy Moments

Mommy Guilt? Not this time!

There were a lot of things that I allowed myself to worry over and feel guilty about when I first became a mother in the Spring of 2013. I’ve been determined to free myself of these thoughts and feelings now that we’re expecting our second in July. I’ve realized that our decisions have not all been perfect but our daughter is no worse for wear. If I must say so myself, she’s turning into a pretty amazing little kid.

As moms, we place so much weight upon our own shoulders. We compare our parenting choices to those of others and we often question ourselves. Ultimately, I’ve learned that the important thing is to own your choices.  So this time around, I own our choices; I’ll change as needed and embrace motherhood with a whole new perspective.

Here are a few things that I will not feel guilty about this time around…

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding

I’ll be honest. I was not thrilled about the idea of nursing. Of course I loved the benefits, but it was not something that I was jumping at the bit to experience. However, it was and remains my goal to provide the best that I can for my children, and of course, breastfeeding serves as one of those things. I gave it my best try. I worked diligently with the lactation consultants at our hospital and I did what I could to provide for my daughter in this way. Maybe it was my frustration with my limited supply or the constant feeding every hour to hour and a half that killed the “beauty” of this natural experience. About a week and a half into our newborn’s life, I was only getting about 1-2 ounces after pumping both sides.

Our daughter was waking every hour or so with her "hungry cry" and we could not figure out why…until it was suggested that we supplement with formula. I discussed this with my pediatrician’s office and they encouraged me to give it a try. The result? Our baby began sleeping for about 3 hours at a time and was finally putting some weight on. We soon learned that my PCOS diagnosis not only impacted our ability to get pregnant, but it was also impacting my milk production. After 3 months of pumping and attempting to nurse, I was barely getting enough milk to cover the bottom of a bottle. I gave up. We went exclusively to formula. I have a lot of friends who have had wonderful experiences and great success with nursing. I was not one of them. I allowed myself to feel less than I was because I could not nurse my baby. I was even prepared for a lecture from our pediatrician but instead, she reaffirmed our decision and praised us for making such good decisions for our daughter. It was at that point that I owned my decision to formula feed and I didn’t look back.

October 2013

Disposable vs. Cloth Diapering

I’ve toyed with the idea of cloth diapering for a while. I thought about it prior to our daughter’s birth and I’ve revisited it this time around as well. I have seen those who thrive with the cloth diaper system and my dear friend has walked me through all the steps and has provided some fantastic information. The reasons why I should are many, but ultimately, it just isn’t the best fit for our family…at least not at this time. 

March 2014

Working Mom vs. Stay At Home Mom

When it comes to this topic, there are two things I am personally sure of. I am called to be a mother and I am called to be a teacher. I would not be serving my God to the best of my ability if I gave up either one of these things. Sure, there are many days that my heart breaks to drop G off at the sitter, knowing that I’ll be gone from her for the next 8 hours. Sure, I feel like I miss out on time with her. Is that a good feeling? Of course not, but I can’t deny my calling. I truly believe that I am doing what I am called to do and I am doing what is also necessary to provide for my family. I don’t always like these circumstances, but I love my job and I love my daughter. It’s been a struggle at times to find a good balance, but overall I believe we’ve found that. To those who can stay at home with their babes, there are days I envy you and appreciate the love and care you invest in your children. Likewise, i commend the mothers who choose/must work outside of the home. We all do what we must to provide for our children.

April 2015

Me Time

Me time is very limited and it's primarily my fault. The control freak in me feels that I need to do it all. This is something that I continue to work on and will try to be more willing to accept as we enter into this new journey. I know I should not feel guilty about needing some alone time, but I do. I've also learned however,  that it is very important to my overall well being. My goal is to become okay with letting others help a little more and allowing myself to relax.

While I understand that these can be hot topics for some, these are simply the choices that we’ve decided to make for our family. We all do what we can and pray that it’s enough. Above all, I want our children to know that the decisions we've made throughout their lives have been made with careful consideration and love.

LInking up for Mommy Moments

Mealtimes With a Toddler

Meal time with a toddler can occasionally be challenging…especially when the transition from a high chair to a regular dining chair is concerned. We’ve recently entered into this new face with our daughter who will be 2 in April. Our biggest obstacle is having her remain in her seat throughout the meal. When she was in her high chair, she had no choice but to stay put. While we work on reasonable expectations (e.g. allowing her to get down when she is done and cleaned up as opposed to getting up and down and grazing), we’ve been continuing to work on toddler table manners.

1. Washing hands before the meal. We are trying to make sure that washing her hands eventually becomes second nature. Working with 6 and 7 year olds has taught me the importance of starting this habit super young. It is not something you want them overlooking before meals or after the bathroom. If she does not head straight to the bathroom to wash her hands when we call the meal, we gently remind her and it has not been a problem.

2. Prayer. In our home, praying and giving thanks before our meal is of utmost importance. She eagerly repeats after us at this point and will sometimes jump ahead. Hearing her precious little mouth say “Jesus” and “Amen” melts my heart every time. I feel we are making headway since lately she’ll even say “amen” when she is given a snack.

3. Patience. I personally feel people underestimate the ability of toddlers. G is clearly learning right from wrong and what it means to say “please” and “thank you”. (And then I think, if my toddler can do this, why can’t so many adults? Anyway…) One skill we’re working on is patience. Toddlers can naturally be very egocentric, which is age appropriate. Even so, they can be taught what is appropriate. With this comes the virtue of patience. She is learning that yelling or demanding will not get her the things that she wants. If Mommy or Daddy is in the middle of something, she is learning that she may have to wait to get what she wants. She is also learning that saying please may not always result in getting what she wants (e.g. a cookie for breakfast). This is important for even meal times. We want her to learn that even at mealtime she may have to wait her turn and may not be able to have what she wants at the exact moment she wants it. I’m pleased to say that we’ve seen so much good from working through this difficult concept.

4. Trying food. I was raised by a mother who, because of her raising, was taught that if it’s on your plate, it will be eaten. It did not matter if you did not like. It did not matter how much there was. If it was thrown away, that was considered being wasteful and that was not okay. I completely appreciate the thoughts behind this premise but it is something I have had to change since becoming an adult. The idea of eating everything that is on your plate can be detrimental when trying to be healthy. It makes more sense to put leftovers in the fridge and focus on portion size. I want G to be adventurous when trying new foods, but I do not want to force her to eat something that she completely dislikes. We encourage her to at least try something new, which she typically does. She lets us know immediately whether or not it is something she likes. Because of this, I feel we have a really good eater. We have not dealt with too many picky-eater moments. We also re-introduce the foods that she originally didn’t like from time to time just to see if her tastes have changed.  

5. Clean up. I’m not sure when G got so tall, but she easily puts things in the sink and on the counter. Because of this, we’ve been having her take her plate and silverware into the kitchen and placing it on the counter or in the sink. If her plate has been cleared of all food, she puts it in the sink. Otherwise it goes on the counter. She loves the chance to be such a big girl and will even sometimes get to help with washing the dishes.

I know every parent has a way of doing things and this is just ours. Parenthood is one episode of trial and error after another. If you have any creative ways of maintaining toddler mealtime, I’d love to hear them!

Mommy Moments Link-up

12 Books of Christmas: 2014 Selections

::via::

It's hard to believe that Christmas is over and a new year has begun! This year holds so much promise but before we jump in, I'm still taking time to reflect on some of my favorite moments from Christmas and the things that have shaped and grown us over this past year. One of the things that I've been missing already are the traditions that happen in our home at Christmas.

The 12 Books of Christmas is one of my favorite traditions. Last year was fun, but this year was a blast. Everyday G asked for her book and could not wait to sit, open and read. These are such treasured moments. You can check out the list of books she received last year...The List.

Here are the books she opened this year...

1. If You Give a Dog a Donut
2. Little Owl's Night
3.The Little Christmas Elf
4. Giggle, Giggle, Quack
5. Charlie Goes to School
6. Bear Says Thanks
7. Busiest Firefighters Ever!
8. Just Me and My Dad
9. Someday*
10. Minerva Louise
11. You Will Be My Friend!
12. Room for a Little One

*My personal favorite from this year...

I'll soon be on the hunt for new titles as I purchase books for next Christmas throughout the year. What book titles would you suggest?

Linking Up with Annie from Home of Malones

Toddler Snacks for the Road

::via::

I'm slowly wrapping my brain around the idea of having a toddler. A toddler! Our beautiful babe is 15 months old and counting. When did this happen?! I think I ask myself that question with every milestone.

She's made multiple road trips during her short little life and with each trip new issues arise. Gone are the days when she would sleep almost the entire car ride. Now she wants to be entertained for the majority of the trip. Thank goodness for board books, a backseat mirror and the Frozen movie soundtrack.

She also likes to snack and I'm personally not a huge fan of passing food off to the backseat. That paranoid part of me fears her choking and me not being able to get to her soon enough. However, the more teeth she gets the less stressed I become over the matter.

Our road trip essentials generally include (but not limited to) a first aid kit, water (generally in a small cooler), a blanket and of course some snacks. You never know what the open road will bring.

Our upcoming family road trip will be no exception. I always debate what snacks to bring for G. Of course goldfish and animal crackers make their way into the bag for hotel munchies (and on those rare occasions when she'll eat nothing else). For our upcoming trip I opted for the following*:

GoGo Squeez Applesauce On The Go pouches-These healthy snacks are one of G's favorites. Unless she gets a wild hair and decides to squeeze before the spout hits her mouth, there is no mess. She's been enjoying these for several months and was an instant pro. They come in a variety of flavors. (I want to invest in some reusable pouches but have yet to decide which brand I want, so for now, these will do.)

Organic Teensy Fruits from Plum Organic- While I'm not personally obsessed with buying organic, I did run across these awesome toddler snacks. They are similar to fruit leather but softer and more toddler friendly. I only buy these on occasion but I feel comfortable passing back a pouch without any major choking worries.

Sun-Maid Raisins- G was recently introduced to raisins...and she loves them! I bought a box of them and keep them in the fridge. According to package directions they can last up to two years if kept in the refrigerator after opening...granted I know ours will not last that long. It is generally more cost effective to buy a regular box and bag your own for the sitter or car trips. I just happened upon a good deal on the mini-snack boxes and thought they'd be perfect for our trip.

Of course there are tons! of other snacks you could bring along for your little one. These just happen to be a few that our little one enjoys.

What road trip snacks to you bring along for your itty bitty?

*I was not compensated in any to offer my opinions of these products.