A Time for Everything

::via::

It's been a week of highs and lows...

Let me start from the beginning. Last weekend, after yet another agonizing and yet promising TWW, we discovered that we were once again not pregnant. You would think after continuous months of negatives that I'd be numb or would have found a better way to cope...but nope. I let my hopes fade and the tears fall. Crying is truly therapeutic.

That same weekend I spent a wonderful time with my friend and her daughter at a fall festival and celebrated the birth of our dear friends' little boy. These were such good moments.

These moments were soon overshadowed by some heartbreaking news. My husband's best friend (since elementary school) and his wife lost their 3 month old son to SIDS. I got a call from my husband on Tuesday. He rarely calls up to work but I didn't immediately think anything was wrong. He then proceeded to tell me the tragic news. I could not wrap my brain around it. My heart was and remains so grieved for this family.

Thursday night we went to the Family Visitation at the funeral home. It was seriously one of the saddest experiences I've ever had. I had no words of comfort. I prayed continually as we waited in line to speak to the family. I whispered words to the Heavens as I watched the child's mother stare longingly at the picture slide show as the father took the condolences. I will never forget the pain I saw in his eyes as my husband went up to him and hugged him. As I watched these two strong men cry together my heart broke even more.

I took off work on Friday to attend the graveside service.

The drizzle and drear seemed appropriate for the emotions of the day. We watched as the father carried his son's casket to the area where the service would be held. We gripped each others hands as the mother and remaining immediate family walked past us with tears in their eyes. I looked around at people, bringing love and support for this family, and thought how amazing it was that this tiny little life had touched so many. The service was as sweet as one could be under the circumstances and the message of God's goodness, grace and mercy were woven throughout. The beautiful truth for those who have Christ as their Savior is that death is not the end. I remember that as the service was ending and we all stood in silence, the clouds gave way to sunlight. I couldn't help but think that it was God's way of reiterating that there are still good things to come. While it may take a lot of time for this promise to become a comfort, it is my prayer that it will become just that.

I share this for several reasons.

First, this past week has been a major struggle and I've relied so heavily on my God for understanding, comfort, wisdom and discernment. It is my belief our friends' little one's 103 days on earth were purposeful and that his death, regardless how unfair it seems to our earthly minds, will indefinitely make an impact in Heaven. His passing has drawn me to the Lord in ways that I have not visited in a very long time.

::via::

Secondly, I have delved into the truths found in God's Word for comfort. I've been connecting with God on a whole new level while dealing with our infertility. This connection has only deepened as I've sought after the Lord during this time of darkness. I desperately want to serve as a light for this grieving family and can only do so through His strength, because lets face it, I've been crying on and off since Tuesday and without His help, I'd be no good for anyone.

Lastly, I share this because I want you to hug your little ones a little tighter. Remember that these angels are granted to us to care for, lead, guide and raise in a way that will set them apart and bring glory to God. Love your children fiercely. Appreciate every moment. Get over the messes and embrace them. Every fingerprint, every Cheerio underfoot is something to appreciate.

I know this wasn't an easy read and I appreciate you bearing with me. Please keep our friends in your prayers. The days, weeks, months and years will continue to bring pain with each first that "should have been" and every holiday to come.

Linking up with Leslyn