Entering One-derland

I still can't wrap my brain around that fact that in about two weeks my daughter will be turning one! Before coming a mother it is hard to believe that time will move as quickly as it does. When you have difficulty conceiving, time drags. You suffer through the meds, the 2WW, and the countless negative pregnancy tests...until you get that one...that one stick with two lines. Those two beautiful lines change your life forever. You patiently (or not so much) wait for 9 months to meet the tiny human that you have been so humbly chosen to grow and carry.

The first couple of months are a blur as feeding and sleeping schedules consume every aspect of your life. Then, one day, you blink and your baby, the tiny human that you once longed to greet into the world, has accomplished so many milestones and has reached the age of one. One seems like such a tiny number until your child reaches the age. At that point, at least for me, the number seems huge! How could time have escaped me even though I have loved and tried to cherish each fleeting moment?

Thanks to some good friends of ours, we were able to capture some wonderful memories today. My friend Shay, an amazing photographer and owner of  Shay White Photography, came to take some family pictures and to capture a few sweet moments celebrating G's upcoming first birthday. I can't wait to post some pictures from the photo session. Until then, I'll leave you with some candid photos of our precious little girls.

G was really enjoying the story read by Uncle Jake

Baby C was listening to her daddy read

G had an uncontrollable urge to poke and point at C...

and C was not a fan...

so she decided to poke back.

I love these two so much! I can only hope that they will grow up to just as good of friends as their moms are.

Five on Friday

It's finally Spring...both in season and in current temperatures! April showers are sure to bring May flowers and Fridays bring their Five. Join me and others for this week's Five on Friday!

[one]
While this week has not been so great in the way of my exercise and weight loss, it has been great for some semi-baking. I don't normally participate in April Fool type festivities, but I could not resist. I provided my students with a word hunt that didn't actually have any of the listed words in the puzzle. The cuties poured over it for several minutes, muttering under their breaths about the difficulty. After a few minutes I broke the news. All but one proved to be good sports...I also shared some goodies with my co-workers. I tried a new recipe for Chocolate Yummies (the title does not do them justice...they were delish!) I put them in a little zip lock baggy promising inaccurate nutritional information...and then dashed their hopes at the end. Nothing fancy but totally fun :)

[two]
I've been cherishing some God moments this week. One of which is a small group Bible study that I am hoping to begin. I feel God moving and I see things coming together. Due to some needs that I'll need to meet in order for this to happen, we will (in the VERY near future) be transforming our office/catch-all room into a playroom (multi-purpose). I've been toying with some ideas. I want some thing bright but not too complicated or overwhelming. We do have hopes to move in the next couple of years and don't want something that will turn away potential buyers. However, we want it to be kid friendly...here are some of my ideas. I'd love some suggestions!


[three]
How could I not take advantage of this gorgeous weather?! Flip-flops, shorts and open windows. Glorious! G and I have spent the last few evenings outside after dinner. Yes, there are many things I could be doing that would allow my house to be cleaner and more organized but these moments spent with her are so precious and fleeting. I will never be able to get them back...all of this is becoming more bittersweet as we quickly approach her first birthday.

[four]
As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been feeling particularly sentimental these days and decided to make an album/pregnancy journal leading up to G's birth. I loved putting it together! It came in the mail yesterday and I've looked through it a dozen times! I can't get enough of reliving and savoring every moment.

[five]
Earlier this week, I heard my husband calling me from the living room while I was doing dishes. He insisted I take a look at that evening's sunset. The sky was stunning (the picture does not do it justice). We just stood there and took in God's gorgeous creation. How sweet it is to think that God made that sunset just for us in that moment. How He loves to bring joy to the hearts of His children.
 

 

 

 

 

 

Silent Moments

You know those moments...those God moments? The kind that hit you in the silence and yet seem so loud when His presence touches your heart? I love those moments. I cherish those moments. I need those moments. There are times in my life like the present when my relationship with Christ seems a bit more quiet than at other times. While I know He's there, I feel distant.

I know I'm to blame because He is always there. Though I may not hear Him, He is speaking and listening to my heart. While I may feel alone in my thoughts, He is aware of every. single. one. Last night the house was still. The baby was sleeping peacefully across the hall and my husband was gone on a fire call. It was just me in the silence.

While getting ready for bed, I felt prompted to pick up my old Bible. My mom gave me this Bible in 2000...hard to believe it's 14 years old. The cover was slightly dusty, but it felt just like I remembered. Suddenly, all of the anxiety and past emotions that have been rising to the surface this week were stilled. I just sat there...in the silence. A couple of books from the New Testament were falling out from years of use and the pages were filled with underlines, highlighter, notes in the margins and post-it notes. I was reminded of all of the joy and tears that I had poured over those pages. I remembered the moments of peace that the underline passages provided at just the right time.

In those few moments I felt so at peace despite the angst that I've been carrying. I felt God's presence fill the room. In those silent moments I was reminded that even though my heart battles the past and hopes for the future, He has given me the present. I decided to open that Bible and focus on the first thing my eyes ran across. The book fell open to Proverbs 19:21.

 

Many plans occupy the mind of a man, but the Lord's purposes will prevail.

So very timely. I sat and stared at the words on the page. I let them soak into my soul, swirl into my mind, and take root in my heart. While I still cling to things hoped for, I am learning to let go. My life is a continuous example of what God can do with a life. His work is woven throughout my life's story. His protection, His guidance, His goodness...all of those things and more weave the thread that holds this imperfect person together.

I eagerly seek more silent moments. It's often in those moments that He speaks the loudest.

Chicken with Drop Dumplings

The other night I was craving my grandma's soup...loving deemed "Uncle Curtis' Soup". If there is an actual name for it, no one in the family knows. In fact, on my recipe card the recipe is simply labeled "soup". It has forever been my uncle's request at family gatherings and I grew up expecting this soup every Christmas (and maybe once or twice throughout the year if we were lucky.) My grandma has three dishes that compete to be my favorite: meatloaf, flat pancakes, and Uncle Curtis' Soup. The only thing that ever tastes like she makes it when I attempt it in the kitchen is the soup.

She has such distinct handwriting...pulling out this recipe card always brings sweet memories.

So back to the other night. I was really wanting her soup. I knew thought I had everything, right down to the spices. Unfortunately I realized, only after I began cooking, that I did not have smoked sausage. I decided to get a little creative and came up with my spin on Chicken n' Dumplings. I hope you'll enjoy this just as much as we did! You can't beat something made in the big red pot.

Chicken with Drop Dumplings

Ingredients:
2tbsp butter
1 clove minced garlic
1/4c diced onions
2c chicken broth
1c water
1 1/2 tsp Hungarian Paprika
1-2c cooked, diced chicken

Dumplings:
2eggs
dash of salt
3/4c flour


Begin by melting 2 tablespoons of butter in the bottom of your pot.



Add 1 clove of minced garlic and 1/4c diced onion. Allow to cook for a few minutes to draw out the flavor. The onions will become translucent as they cook.

Once the veggies are good to go, add 2 cups of chicken stock and 1 cup of water. Stir in 1 1/2 tsp. Hungarian paprika and a dash of salt and pepper. Allow it to simmer on low heat.

While the broth simmers, grab a medium size bowl and combine the following ingredients to make the dumplings: 2 eggs, a dash of salt, and 3/4c flour. Mix well. The dough will be thick.

In small spoonfuls, drop the dough into the simmering liquid. The dumplings will cook as the broth continues to heat. The dumplings will swell a bit. Continue to add the dumpling dough until you are stratified with the amount of dumplings in the soup.

Finally add 1-2c of diced chicken. I had some leftover rotisserie chicken and that worked very well. Otherwise, cooked chicken breast would do. allow the soup to cook through and continue to season to taste.

This soup was a big hit in our house and I hope the same for yours. Enjoy!



 

 



If the Jeans Fit

It came time to post my monthly weight loss update and I was proud to see the goals I've achieved over the last month. It's tough work. I was not graced with "skinny genes" and because of that, I do  not sport skinny jeans. For the longest time it was even difficult to wear my regular jeans. I was determined to get back into my clothes after G was born. Everything you read and everything your doctor tells you indicates that it takes about 9 months to put on the baby weight and we should expect it to take about that long to get it off.

The weight I've lost is post-baby weight...which is a huge accomplishment for me. Another huge accomplishment came yesterday morning. I only own a few pairs of jeans in the first place, and considering I'm behind on laundry...I thought I had washed at least one pair but it turned out that I had grabbed a pair of my hubby's instead. ::sigh:: What to do? It was casual Friday at work...I didn't want to waste a jean day! I stumbled upon a pair of jeans that I haven't been able to wear in about 2 years...not even before baby. I guess I kept them in hope of wearing them again someday...maybe? I almost didn't put them on because I was not up for more disappointment, but something inside said, "go for it!"

::via::

I slipped them on...and without laying myself flat on the bed...they zipped!!! While they are not 100% comfortable, they readily zipped and brought a huge smile to my face. Talk about motivation! These past couple of days I've really slacked when it comes to portions, tracking and exercise. With a sick husband and baby, the majority of my focus has been on getting them well and work.

I'm back on track today and I'm feeling good. The house has gotten a bit out of hand this week and I have a lot to get done before church and our lunch company tomorrow. The baby is now down for her nap and I just had to share.

If you're like me and you sometimes need that little boost, do what you must to find it. Don't give up and undo all of the success that you've achieved. If I can do this, so can you.

By the way, one week from today I'll be joining many others in the HoosHeal 5k with my friend Shannon. It's hard to believe that it is almost here! I haven't trained as much as I'd hoped to but I'm still feeling pretty good about it. I'll finish. The. End.

In a related thought, I ran across this funny picture while browsing Pinterest the other day. I had to laugh but then it got me thinking...I don't want my daughter to ever see my happiness or lack there of based on the numbers on a scale. It just reiterated the importance of gaining a healthy self image as I also try to gain a healthier body. Praise God for simple truths.

::via::

Monthly Weight Loss with Pictures

It's time for an update, so in lieu of my typical Five on Friday, I'll be sharing my current weight loss progress.

My weight loss journey continues...and with each day, I face new challenges. There are days I fight the exercise. There are days I just want to make excuses. And yet everyday, whether I want to acknowledge it or not, is an opportunity for me to better myself and the lives of others. I can't just sit back and expect change to happen...

 

 

Over the past month I've had several "ah ha" moments, which to many of you may seem more like "duh" moments, but nonetheless, I've laid claim to some new understandings.

 

 

Food is Fuel...It's Meant to Make Me Function, Not Fat. While most of you are nodding your head and thinking, how could she not know this, let me clarify. It is not a matter of not knowing, it is a matter of knowing, accepting, and applying. I've done the WW program in the past, and while I love the idea and for many it works, it never worked for me because I didn't have a firm grasp on "better eating." I accepted my point allowance and my splurge day. I counted my points, tracked my exercise minutes and thought that was enough. They were my points. I could eat what I wanted. That was the beauty of the program right? Wrong. Eating foods high in fat, calories and/or sugar just pack on the pounds. It doesn't matter that I had 20 points and ate a dozen doughnuts as long as I was in my point range...silly me. I now have a different food mantra. Food is Fuel. I enjoy the occasional donut or cupcake, but these are not my go to foods. While I enjoy a snack or two, I make better choices. I've figured out more ways to make food work for me, not against me. Need an idea on how to get started? Take a look at Foods that Turn to Fat to get some perspective. I'm not doing a "diet plan" this go-around. Instead I'm making lifestyle changes in the way I eat, cook and exercise.

 

 

Movement is a Must. I am becoming more accepting of exercise as a pro instead of a con. There are days when work has just exhausted me and by the time I make dinner, bathe the baby and get her to bed, fold some laundry and get things ready for the next day, I really struggle to muster up the will to exercise. The treadmill seems to mock me. My workout DVDs don't mind if they collect dust on the shelf...and yet just like anything else, if change is going to occur, movement must be made. An advancement, a forward motion, progression...whatever your terminology, a physical and mental shift must happen. I ran across this simple Activity Pyramid. It's a great example of how to incorporate activity and how often.

 



  

Okay, now that I've bored inspired shared with you my revelations, it's time to reveal this month's numbers and picture...I always get a bit nervous putting this out there but the amount of support, encouragement, and accountability are well worth it.

 

From December 29, 2013 to March 28, 2014 I am down another .5 inches in my waist and I have lost...

 

 

 
 
 
 

March 2014

As April unfolds, there are many exciting things ahead. This month we'll celebrate my last birthday in my twenties (eek!), my daughter's first birthday, her first Easter, the death and Resurrection of my Savior, my first 5k in almost 3 years, and several other itty bitty birthdays. It will be a full month of wonderful celebrations. As I look forward to these things, I'm also reminded that all of these festivities generally incorporate excellent food and sedentary activities. I have already begun mentally preparing myself for these occasions and I'm working on ways to find a balance that won't undo all that I've done and won't impede my progress.

 

Thanks for all of the encouragement. I hope to make more progress as the months pass on.

 



Revisiting the Journey

I enjoy waking up to blog posts from my dear friend and this morning was no exception. She has begun to blog about her pregnancy. The sweet moments, the ups and downs and all of the in-between moments, had me thinking back to my pregnancy. At this time last year we were just a couple of weeks from our daughter's unexpected arrival. It's hard to believe! I laid in bed listening to G babble over the monitor and could not help but revisit our journey.

Courtesy of Shay White Photography

We prayed so long for our little one and after my PCOS diagnosis, infertility treatment that led to many disappointments, wavering dreams, doctor visits, medications, blood work, etc., our prayers were answered. While we dream of adding to our family at some point, the anxieties and fears of our past attempt to rise to the surface. How quickly I can forget God's goodness and faithfulness. Not once did He leave me to hurt alone. While the journey was not easy, I was able to experience God in ways that I had not been able to do before. When you are TTC you enter into a whole new world. Whether it was the circumstances, the hormones or the medication, I was super sensitive and dealt with levels of emotions I was not prepared to experience. I know I didn't handle relationships in the best manner and I'm determined to find other ways to cope this go around.

::via::

In discussing our hope to add to our family again someday, I often hear, "well at least you already have one baby if it doesn't work." Just an FYI, that does not ease the angst. While this statement is true, when the Lord places this type of desire in my heart, it is not something I can just shrug my shoulders at. I am not selfish. I am not ungrateful. While our experiences and journey were not as involved or as lengthy as some, it was our journey. It was our pain. It was our waiting. It was our hope. It was our joy. While many prayed for and empathized with us, we still experienced some dark times. I've been praying that the Lord will prepare our hearts and heads for whatever may come. I pray for peace and understanding. I pray for a stronger, sustaining sense of joy. While we don't know what the Lord has in store for us, we remain grateful for those who continue to pray with us and for those who didn't give up on me when I was not the person I wanted to be.

::via::

 

All of this brings me to this morning (did I mention I have yet another snow day?! Crazy!). After reading my friend's blog, I got feeling particularly sentimental. Her post inspired me to become a little creative. I have a "free" Shutterfly book that expires today and I had no idea what to use it for. I have been working on a book for G's first year but I still have a month to go...and the offer expires today...so instead, I thought I would put my pregnancy journal highlights into a Shutterfly album. I'm really excited (and a little anxious although I know to some that seems silly) about revisiting my pregnancy with G. I love the maternity album I created leading up to her birth but I didn't capture the ins and outs of my pregnancy...all of which I'm sure she will learn to appreciate someday.