Bump to Birth: 8 Months

I'm a couple days behind getting this up since I turned 32 weeks on Sunday. We've had a lot go on in the pregnancy world as of late, which just reminds me that we are that much closer to meeting our sweet little miracle.

Size:  Jicama

Gender: Sweet Baby Boy

Name: Picked and ready to be announced at his birth!

Symptoms: tired, cramping, sinus pressure, Braxton hicks contractions, headaches, tingling in my face (which according to my doctor has most likely been caused by the amount of pressure I've been having from my sinuses), peeing A Lot more often, a lot of low bearing pressure (and as I'm typing this I have experienced several sporadic contractions today, most of them being small but noticeable...but one good one that took me out of my chair today.)

Emotions: eager to make progress, excited about all of the things we have coming up, overwhelmed, anxious, excited

Doctor’s Visit: 

 May 8th-my BP was slightly elevated, urinalysis (came back negative for proteins and glucose), require a screening for sleep apnea

May 15th-Ultrasound to check placenta...it has moved 2cm! This is good and lowers my risk of hemorrhaging a great deal but it will be up to my doctor as to whether or not this is sufficient to forgo a C-section.  The baby was measuring right on and weighing in at about 4lbs (50% percentile).        

May 19th- preliminary sleep screening...recently there have been a couple cases in the area where people have died after not coming back from anesthesia. It was apparently discovered that they were at a higher risk for sleep apnea. I had no idea what this was and/or what it had to do with me delivering a baby until this appointment. There is a rating scale that my practice now uses to determine if you are at a higher risk for sleep apnea. I have just enough (and I mean barely) to put me on the low end of the higher risk end. Should I need to be put under for an emergency C-section or any other procedure, they want to ensure that they are providing the best care based on possible conditions. The NP that I spoke with said that if I had anything it all, it would be very benign. She did not appear worried and ensured me that if there was any diagnosis, no matter how mild, I would be well cared for should anesthesia be necessary. While the thought is a little terrifying, I trust my doctors and I am scheduled for my sleep study on May 31st.

*Super pleased that I've only gained 13lbs so far!

Movement: He may be little but he packs a punch. He has his more active times of day, especially at G's bedtime. Story time is always interesting. He is directly pressed up against my bladder and with his almost constant downward pressure these days, I'm always feeling the urge to go.

Cravings: pizza, breakfast foods, hamburgers with pickles and ketchup, chicken finger wraps

Aversions:  mayo and Mexican food

According to Big Sister: She may be coming around...she picks up some of his things as we're going through them and lovingly holds them saying "Baby ****'s" She loves to rock her babies and she likes to tell people that Mommy has a baby in her belly. We may just be okay.

Memories:

-Celebrated G's 2nd Birthday!

-Made a nice little chunk of change at a local consignment sale...well worth the effort.

-G's 2 year check up went really well.

-We found out two of our dearest friends will be expecting in December!

-We had a our baby shower at work.

-We celebrated Mother's Day (the last one as a Mommy of 1 (I really count both babes but for dramatic purposes...)

Bump to Birth Back Posts  

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Bags of Blessings

Last week the sweet folks at work threw us a little baby shower for our sweet boy. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing this was. I've been personally freaking out about what we'd need starting over with a newborn...and a boy at that.  I know girls lol. We have everything for another girl but instead we were blessed with a boy. While I am so grateful and so completely in love and excited, I was a little overwhelmed with starting over with a totally different gender.

As always, the Lord provides.

We were given several bags filled with goodies. We can't thank everyone enough for showering us with such thoughtfulness.

As the weeks wind down I'm becoming more and more eager to meet our little man...not much longer now!

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Snips and Snails

::via::

Today my work family at school will be throwing us a baby shower for our sweet boy. We are so blessed to have their continued love and support.  His arrival is getting so close and this shower is another precious reminder of that. I'll post photos soon!

We also have another growth scan and ultrasound tomorrow.  They'll check his size and the position of my placenta.  It's my hope we'll know more about what type of delivery we'll be having after speaking with the doctor. Think happy thoughts :)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;   in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

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When You're Not a Mom on Mother's Day

This quote popped up on my TimeHop app the other morning and as soon as I read it, I knew exactly why I had shared it.

The quote came during a time in our infertility struggle that I was losing hope, tired of the fight and could only hope, pray and dream that one day Mother's Day would hold a new meaning for me. Of course I celebrated my amazing mother. I would not be who I am without her...but as I sat in the church pew that Mother's Day morning, I could only think about how much my heart ached to be a mother. I was not envious of the flowers or cards. I was not jealous of the recognition. I was sad. My heart longed to know motherhood.

That Mother's Day came and went. I shed the same tears that I had shed the year before and I prayed desperately for the Lord to answer my prayers. To our unexpected joy and delight, He did answer that prayer later that year.

I'll never forget the moment I held our little girl for the first time. It was at that moment that I knew everyday would be Mother's Day. I would celebrate this joy forever. The Lord had heard my prayer and answered my request with a blessing beyond our dreams.

Mother's Day 2013

As I type this, I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with another miracle...another answer to prayer. We ran into similar issues in trying to conceive this sweet little boy and I cherish God's blessing. I rejoice in what He has done. As my heart rejoices over this little life that is growing inside of me and over the fiery redheaded little girl that calls me "Mommy", I cannot help but remember those years of longing and sadness...those years my heart felt so empty on Mother's Day.

For those of you who find yourselves feeling that same ache and feeling that same frustration, remember you are not alone. While you stare longingly at the little ones around you, remember that there is a special plan for your life. I had to be reminded of that daily. I also had to be reminded that God has great plans for the little lives that He brings into this world and that those lives will be conceived in the womb and delivered into the world at His appointed time for His miraculous purpose. While these truths are real and are meant to be reassuring, we won't always feel their comfort.

I say these things to encourage you to not lose hope. Open your heart to what God has for you and daily prepare yourself to accept His blessing when it comes. Be open to how He may bring children into your home. Our sweet little ones don't always come from our own wombs.

I say these things to also remind you that just because you are not a mom (yet) on Mother's Day does not make you any less of a woman. You were designed with a purpose and your story is far from over. It took me a long time to grasp that God was developing and furthering a part of my testimony that would later used to help others. I have since been able to share my battles of infertility and the hope that the Lord gives in the midst of the ache with others. I have seen God fill wombs that once were barren. I have cried and laughed with women who never thought joy could be found in such a painful plight.  I have seen true miracles occur and I have seen what faith can do.

May 2015
 

Mourn this Mother's Day if you must. It's okay, but please, please don't lose hope. Find a way to keep looking forward. Keep dreaming. Embrace the now while anticipating the future. Your miracle may be just a moment away...

 

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10 Weeks to Go!

We no longer need fingers AND toes to count down our due date. I can hardly believe that we're almost in the single digits! We have so much to do and that is not an exaggeration. We've got pieces of the nursery in various parts of the house and that does not include the current state of our home...chaos. As many of you know, we've been trying to pack things that we won't need in the near future in order to make progress towards putting our home on the market. Whew.

30 weeks

My husband has been sensing my urgency. I've gently reminded him that our daughter's nursery and the deep cleaning of our home were finished while we were in the hospital with our firstborn. She came a week and a half early...I'd like to be ready this time around. This remains a point of discussion regularly, at least until our appointment on the 15th. At that point we'll have a better idea of what my delivery will include based on the placement of my placenta. It has not been cooperative up to this point.

Back to this "sense of urgency"...We made a pit-stop at Lowes on Saturday and picked up paint for the nursery. My darling hubby has taped off the hallway and has plans to repaint it and install the new light fixture this week. The bathroom and nursery will hopefully be next...at this point the order isn't really important as long as it gets done. Eventually we'll finish up a few things in the kitchen and leave the rest for after when Baby Boy gets settled at home.

I've been trying to get little things done that make me feel accomplished. I completed my baby shower invite list for the sweet friend who will be throwing a shower for our sweet boy. I coaxed my hubby into installing new blinds in our bedroom. We dropped off several bags at Good Will and I'm steadily filling boxes and bags that will work their way out of our home for good.

I'm also making a conscious effort to savor these fleeting moments with my daughter. I love to stare at her face and brush back her hair as she drifts off to sleep in the evenings. I love watching what are still firsts for her...like blowing bubbles, counting, recognizing colors, etc. There is an ache in my heart that yearns for these moments to stay. I'm not ready to give them up. I am struggling to be okay with my two-year-old working her way into true childhood. Her infancy was fleeting. Her first year of life whipped by. Her second year of life was but a vapor. I keep grasping but yet end up with empty hands. This reality increases my desire to make the most of my time with just her while I can. It also makes me acutely aware of how quickly things will go when our little guy arrives.

 

 

God has made my life so full and I want to take complete advantage of all He has given. I am humbled by His choice to make us parents to these two little lives and will continue to strive to point them to our Savior.

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Accept the Unexpected

It’s never easy to accept or admit moments of weakness. I think we as Christian women often hold ourselves to higher than necessary expectations. We all feel we must “do it all”. I am a planner and when my plans fail, I feel that failure as a mighty sting.

One of my biggest frustrations as of late is the whole house issue. We bought land last September and our dreams of building our new home seem so close and yet so far away. We initially had the plan to place our house for sale at the beginning of April. Prior to that time, I was diagnosed with placenta previa and this limited my ability to do various things around the house. There is painting, sanding, packing, etc. and I can only do so much. You add this to our work schedules and third trimester pregnancy and well…progress has slowed greatly.

We also had plans to move our boxed items to the place we hoped to stay during the time our house is being built. This also recently fell through.  It’s no longer available. Now we’re trying to figure out what to do next…

Plans. Good in theory it seems.

I’ve had a hard time trying to get excited about redoing our daughter’s room into a gender friendly toddler room/nursery. I’ve dealt with so much guilt over this because I was so pumped to complete our daughter’s nursery prior to her birth. There are days when I just don’t know where to begin, what to let go, and when to ask for help.

As always, despite my feelings and circumstances, God is working. He has recently been pushing through this muck that I feel so stuck in and He is helping me work my way into clear waters of redemption. Here is what He’s helping me see thus far…

-It’s not just my circumstances that He is working on. I know that the Lord is doing great things in our lives, but it’s not just my life that he is orchestrating. I’ve been thinking of reasons why the house timing keeps getting postponed. I believe God is helping our current home’s future owners become prepared for our home’s sale. I believe He is allowing more time for us to get done what we need to get done. I believe He has another option for us when it comes to where we’ll live during our building process (FYI-we can’t just rent anywhere because we have 4 dogs and 2 cats.)

-I need to be present now. Our little girl just turned 2 and the fact that these last two years have gone by so quickly makes me realize the importance of truly living in the moment. I’ll never get these days back. With that in mind, it’s also important that I continue to savor the months of my pregnancy. The reality of our infertility issues has meant that both of our children are unlikely blessings. The Lord has proven that He is bigger than these circumstances and has graced our lives with a beautiful little girl and come this summer, we’ll have a darling little boy. The stress that I’ve had over trying to get the house together and my guilt over the nursery has taken a turn. I don’t feel as pressured to put a “For Sale” sign in our yard (although I eagerly await the day) and I’m beginning to enjoy the nursery re-do. I’ve actually determined a theme and color scheme.

-He will always provide. The month of April has hit our budget in some hard, unexpected ways. I’ve not had a month this tight in a very long time. It began with me missing an email from my student loan company indicating that my graduated loan repayment was going up…$300+ more. That was a heart stopper when I checked my account. Then, about a week and a half later our German Shepherd came down with his seasonal skin condition. His skin develops a type of yeast infection at least twice a year when the seasons change. There is nothing we can do to prevent it. We just know that we’ll have to take him to the vet, have him checked out and then give him medication for a couple of weeks. However, to add to this, our sweet Maggie dog was unexplainably injured (we still don’t know for sure how it happened) and her vet visit resulted in sedation, stitches and antibiotics. Crazy. By the end of these two weeks we were out about $1000. While the amount is still hard to stomach and my bank account has not looked this sad in quite a while, the Lord has provided. I was still able to plan and throw our daughter an adorable 2^nd birthday, as well as make our ends meet this month. I could not have done it without the Lord’s provision and long-term planning (just one more reason why savings are so important!)

-I am enough. I still struggle with this. I have felt like such an epic failure lately and my frustration level has been maxed. I want to be the best mom to my kid, the best wife to my husband, the best teacher/employee and the best friend that anyone could have…but there is a reality. I can never be the best. I can only do my best and this is where God’s grace has really been evident. He is giving me grace in the moments of my inadequacy. He has made me enough to be all of these things and all that is expected is for me to be the best of these that I can be. I am learning how to not hold myself to others’ standards and I’m learning to accept the unexpected.

If you find yourself dealing with similar feelings, join me in hanging up preconceived ideas. Cling to God’s goodness and accept His grace. Treasure the moments of the here and now. Embrace the things we can’t control as stepping stones to something greater. There is a time for all things and His plan will always be better than our own.

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A Little Red Riding Hood Birthday Party

Somebody has turned 2!!!

Our gorgeous little redhead has hit yet another milestone. I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone. She has changed so much!

2015

2014

We celebrated with a fairly simple party. I chose a Little Red Riding Hood theme, and with the help of family, it all came together wonderfully.

Here’s a little recap…

The attire:

My mom has always been an amazing seamstress and once again, she did not disappoint. She sewed this adorable dress and cape based off of this idea. She nailed it!

The food:

Black Forest and Triple Berry (raspberry, blueberry and blackberry) Cupcakes

 

//Twigs and Dip//Fruit Tray//Acorns//Labels//

The décor:

I kept it simple. I went with a turquoise and red color theme. I bought some simple galvanized flower buckets from Target and then some coordinating flowers from our local Amish market. I had a box of crayons and these Woodland coloring sheets for the kids to work on at the tables. We also scattered some colorful balloons around the room for the kids to play with.

I also started a tradition for our little girl last year. We request that everyone sign a book with a sweet note to commemorate her birthday.

 

Overall, everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. The kids appeared to have a good time and we were left with a lot of sweet memories.

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