The quote came during a time in our infertility struggle that I was losing hope, tired of the fight and could only hope, pray and dream that one day Mother's Day would hold a new meaning for me. Of course I celebrated my amazing mother. I would not be who I am without her...but as I sat in the church pew that Mother's Day morning, I could only think about how much my heart ached to be a mother. I was not envious of the flowers or cards. I was not jealous of the recognition. I was sad. My heart longed to know motherhood.
That Mother's Day came and went. I shed the same tears that I had shed the year before and I prayed desperately for the Lord to answer my prayers. To our unexpected joy and delight, He did answer that prayer later that year.
I'll never forget the moment I held our little girl for the first time. It was at that moment that I knew everyday would be Mother's Day. I would celebrate this joy forever. The Lord had heard my prayer and answered my request with a blessing beyond our dreams.
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| Mother's Day 2013 |
As I type this, I am currently 31 weeks pregnant with another miracle...another answer to prayer. We ran into similar issues in trying to conceive this sweet little boy and I cherish God's blessing. I rejoice in what He has done. As my heart rejoices over this little life that is growing inside of me and over the fiery redheaded little girl that calls me "Mommy", I cannot help but remember those years of longing and sadness...those years my heart felt so empty on Mother's Day.
For those of you who find yourselves feeling that same ache and feeling that same frustration, remember you are not alone. While you stare longingly at the little ones around you, remember that there is a special plan for your life. I had to be reminded of that daily. I also had to be reminded that God has great plans for the little lives that He brings into this world and that those lives will be conceived in the womb and delivered into the world at His appointed time for His miraculous purpose. While these truths are real and are meant to be reassuring, we won't always feel their comfort.
I say these things to encourage you to not lose hope. Open your heart to what God has for you and daily prepare yourself to accept His blessing when it comes. Be open to how He may bring children into your home. Our sweet little ones don't always come from our own wombs.
I say these things to also remind you that just because you are not a mom (yet) on Mother's Day does not make you any less of a woman. You were designed with a purpose and your story is far from over. It took me a long time to grasp that God was developing and furthering a part of my testimony that would later used to help others. I have since been able to share my battles of infertility and the hope that the Lord gives in the midst of the ache with others. I have seen God fill wombs that once were barren. I have cried and laughed with women who never thought joy could be found in such a painful plight. I have seen true miracles occur and I have seen what faith can do.
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| May 2015 |
