Made With Love

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The last few months have had us inconsistently attending church. We've had a variety of sicknesses that we've had to deal with G, my morning sickness, bed rest, travel, etc. I think we're all out of the woods for now (except for my moderate bed rest) and we're ready to get back to some normalcy. It was wonderful to praise and worship with my church family yesterday.

Our pastor began a new series in Genesis. The book of Genesis opens with God creating the world. There were moments in his sermon that I became very overcome with emotion. I attribute it to the pregnancy hormones and the Spirit moving...God was speaking to my heart. Our pastor spoke on the reason behind God's creation. He made us to have a relationship with us. He fashioned us to enjoy this world, to connect with Him, and to share His love with others. There were moments when I just sat in awe of how the God who created the universe and all that I ever have and will know, is the same God who loves me and created me for a purpose.

He went on to talk about how God took so much care to make everything. That includes us. He knit us together in His image. I became teary as I reflected on this truth. Not only did He make me with love, but our daughter...she is one of the most precious gifts He's given us up to this point. And while in my biased opinion I deem her perfect, in reality, she was perfectly knitted together by her Creator. He designed our daughter with tender loving care, placed her in my womb and then in our arms. The sentiments continued as I hugged my growing belly. The sweet babe that I now carry continues to be knitted together with just as much love. I just imagine God taking His hands and forming this child. I imagine Him instructing every part to grow and I can almost see the smile on His face as this babe wiggles around.

It's humbling. It's humbling to think that I was chosen to carry these children and to bring them into this world. Our pastor touched on the fact that God initially made this world and saw that it was good. Of course sin entered the world and has since destroyed much of what was once good...but we can still look around and see God's goodness. I see it on the face of my daughter and in the faces of my first grade students. I see it in the way my husband loves and cares for us. I see it in the way we are ceaselessly provided for. I see it in the sunrise and the fiery sunsets. It would take forever to list the ways in which God's goodness is still alive and well in this world.

I look at my daughter and think of this new babe. I think of the promise that they hold. God has placed them into existence for an amazing purpose, and while it can become overwhelming at times to think about the responsibility that it entails for us as their parents, I remain in awe of how God uses us and will eventually use them to grow His Kingdom.

All of this brings me to one overall thought. We were made with love. We were fashioned with great things in mind. We all contain talents and skills that only we can use to make change in the lives of others. Today...challenge yourself to use (and maybe discover) your talents and skills to touch others' lives. Also today, and everyday, remember you are loved no matter what the world tries to tell you. Instill this message into your children.

Mommy Moments Link Up

Potty Training Makes the List

Hello Friday! It's a teacher work day and that will mean productivity...hopefully.  Now for this week's five...

[ 1 ]
Potty training has commenced at our house. G used the potty for the first time on Wednesday and I was thrilled! I'm still getting over the shock. We discovered that she doesn't like wet underwear., so maybe that will be an incentive. This will be a long process for sure but prayerfully we'll have major success before baby #2 makes its debut in July.

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[2]
Hello World! I just have to send a huge shout out to my sister-cousin (I swear our families swapped us at some point) and her husband on the birth of their little beauty, Annalise.

[3]
Snow days are wonderful. I will say I was surprised by the one we had this week simply because there was only a dusting,  but I'll take it. It meant more time with my sweet girl. We colored, made cookies and worked on using the potty.

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[4]
My best friend recently went on a mission trip to Russia. She lovingly allows me to live vicariously through her travels...and she always thinks of us. She sent some amazing gifts back from her trip.

[5]
Christmas has since passed...and our decorations are still up. Embarrassing.  With me having been on bed rest for a couple weeks and now on moderate bed rest, things have been going in slow motion. I at least hope to have them put away by Easter (haha...or within the next week or so.)

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Linking up with 

The Farmer's Wife

and

Carolina Charm

Bump to Birth: Months 1-3

*I know a lot of people document their pregnancy by weeks. I have chosen to document monthly. The symptoms, cravings, ect. may seem lengthy but these are things experienced throughout the duration of the specified month.


Month 1

When we knew...October 31, 2015

Size: Poppy seed

Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, restless sleep, smell sensitivity, decreased appetite, round ligament pain

Emotions: anxious about ultrasound, excited, nervous about sharing the news and when to do so

Doctor's Visit: Nurse visit scheduled for November 26th
                         First ultrasound scheduled for December 2nd

Movement: none

Cravings: none

Aversions: none

According to Big Sister: She does not like it when I hold other babies. This will be something we'll have to work on.

Memories:
-Sharing the news
-Our trip to Carter's Mountain with the Bartley Familiy

-The Fall Festival at church

Month 2

Size: Raspberry

Symptoms: nausea, fatigue, decreased appetite, round ligament pain, tender breasts, bloating

Emotions: anxious, nervous, excited about the holidays

Doctor's Visit: November 26th-review of history, 24 hour urine collection, blood work
                         First ultrasound scheduled for December 2nd

Movement: none

Cravings: cheese pizza, spaghetti, Dunkin Donut holes, grilled cheese with bacon

Aversions: raw carrots, the smell of pine, the smell of Slim Jims/jerky

According to Big Sister:  She will now occasionally point to or rub my tummy when asked where the baby is.

Memories:
-I had a wonderful meeting with my Infertility Bible Study group
-A visit with my dear friend Laura S.

-A visit from Becca (my former housemate)

-Celebrated Thanksgiving with the Galbreaths' and family

-Cried during Frozen and How to Train Your Dragon 2


Month 3

Size: Plum

Symptoms: achy teeth, very emotional, nausea, fatigue, vivid dreams, smell sensitivity, decreased appetite, round ligament pain, headaches, light bleeding/spotting

Emotions: excited about telling family and friends at Christmas, sad we had to miss the traditional Christmas parade, looking forward to having my mom come up to visit, afraid of what the bleeding may mean and what it could lead to, frustrated, sad about not being able to do anything for the week of Christmas because I was put on bed rest, elated to see the baby on the ultrasound for the first time

Doctor's Visit: December 2nd-saw baby for the first time

                        December 19th-ultrasound to check on the status of the baby and to try and determine a cause for the bleeding and spotting

                         Another ultrasound scheduled for December 30th because of bleeding

Movement: none

Cravings: iced coffee, kettle corn, cheese pizza

Aversions: raw carrots, chili

According to Big Sister: She likes to take her stethoscope and place it on my tummy. She'll then go "bum-bum" to mimic the heartbeat.

Memories:
-Receiving Christmas presents in the mail
-Jamberry Nails party with friends
-Pajama/gingerbread house party at the Bartley's house

-Celebrating Christmas with extended family

-Began wearing maternity pants thanks to baby bloat
-December 19th: I woke up at 4:30am not feeling normal. I went to the bathroom to discover that I was having some light bleeding. I was terrified. I woke up Clinton and we laid there together, prayed and cried in those early morning hours. I can't express the ache that was in my heart and the fear that was wrecking my soul. I called my doctor as soon as they opened and they got me in that day. An internal exam and an ultrasound were done. My cervix was closed and there was no obvious cause for the bleeding. They easily saw the baby and its heartbeat on the monitor. I was put on bed rest for the next two weeks (I was put on moderate bed rest thereafter until my appointment at the end of January). 
-Spending time with my mom

-Christmas 2014 with family
-Finding out that my cousin is due two weeks after me!
-Getting the news of two additional new babies due in the coming fall.

The Back Story

Linking up with Home of Malones

Bump to Birth: The Back Story

I knew I wanted to blog about our journey with infertility and I wanted to serve as a source of hope for those who continue to struggle with its life altering effects. I wish I had been blogging in the years leading up to the conception and birth of our daughter, but alas, my blog began when she was born and I decided to fill some of my maternity leave with documenting memories for our family and friends. Since then, I've been sharing my thoughts and life events.

Many assumed that because we (finally) were able to conceive our daughter that we'd have no problem trying to get pregnant again. A lot people may still not be aware of all that we went through to conceive our precious gem. We unfortunately, and fortunately, had the same issues and challenges in trying to conceive Baby #2. You can read about our struggle here and my thoughts on various infertility hurdles here.

When we began TTC our next child, we chose a life verse to pray while we waited and throughout the remainder of our child's life. We chose a life verse for our daughter and I was led to another verse to pray for this child. Job 5:9 became my prayer as we eagerly awaited the Lord to fulfill our dreams of adding to our family. Little did we know that this verse would completely encompass everything regarding this baby. I look forward to sharing more about that with you in the days to come.


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We began this second journey knowing that my lack of ovulation, lengthy cycles and skewed hormone levels would once again pose problems. We tried for a bit on our own but in tracking my cycles, it was evident that the issues were still prevalent. I began Metformin to help level things out (no, I don't have diabetes). We were hopeful that it would help achieve enough balance that I could conceive without anything further.

Months went by with no success or cycle regulation. I was put on Clomid to help me ovulate.  After several cycles of no success (and did I mention I had already lost about 20lbs to help move things along?) we were told we had one more round and, if not successful,  we'd have to try a more invasive approach. My hubby and I had long prayed about what we should do and we felt that adoption would be our next step.  We weren't comfortable with any further treatments, nor could we afford most of them since all things infertility are not covered by insurance.

October was a crazy month.  We had a lot riding on this round of meds. Of course, on the day I got my positive ovulation test I also came down with a random YI. I just knew we were out. My pH levels were out of whack and his swimmers didn't stand a chance. There was also no clear thermal shift on my chart to indicate ovulation had even occurred. I allowed myself to be sad and then moved on.

I had been feeling off and slightly nauseous the week of October 27th. I knew we were out but I had a couple of cheap test strips and thought I'd use one for kicks. On the 30th I tested and there was a VERY faint line. It was so faint that I thought I was probably just seeing things. The next day I woke up hopeful for some reason and picked up a pregnancy test on my way to work. When I got there I tested.  I could not believe my eyes! Science would say this was a very unlikely situation...but my God is bigger than any of this and He made it possible.

So, it is with great joy that I say we are currently expecting our newest miracle in July and I'll be using my Bump to Birth posts to document the milestones and memories of this pregnancy. With that being said, if you are dealing with infertility and such updates are difficult for you (because I totally understand that exact thing) please feel free to bypass posts under this heading.

I'll soon be catching up on our progress thus far. Until then, I leave you with this thought...

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Linking Up

My Five...

So you will see one theme throughout today's 5...announcing our pregnancy!

[Daddy]

G and I wanted to surprise Daddy since our BFP came on a day he was on shift at the fire station. I took a picture of G and put it at the end of some pictures from her trick-or-treating the night before. When we met up with my hubby the next morning, I had him look through the pictures...and this is what he saw at the end!

[My Mom]

Mom flew in from Georgia for Christmas. We wanted to wait until Christmas Day to surprise her but due to some circumstances that I'll share about later, we had to tell her when she came in.

[His Parents/Family]

On Christmas Day we had G hand them a handmade card. We had turned her hand print into a Christmas tree that she decorated. I drew some presents underneath. On the outside of the card it said, "The best gift under the tree..." (outside), "is the sweet little baby God made just for me!" (inside). We included a picture of our first ultrasound.

[Facebook]

Of course there was a Facebook announcement...thanks to my daughter for all of her help.

[The Blog]

Here is the post I used to announce our pregnancy to the blog world.


Linking up with The Farmer's Wife for Oh Hey Friday! and Carolina Charm for Five on Friday.

Big Things are Happening 'Round Here

Eph. 3:20

A few months ago we found ourselves in the midst of mixed emotions. Last September we closed on our land, which will one day become the building site of our forever home. Long before the land came through, we had begun trying to grow our family without success. We knew the obstacles we were up against in both situations.

My husband had set some specific parameters for our land purchase. It had to be at least the amount of acreage that we have now, it had to be close to his volunteer fire department, within our budget, must include a mountain view and must be within our current vicinity since our jobs have us driving in opposite directions. I know, I know. That's quite a list.

Through a sequence of events, we became privy to some information about a beautiful piece of property...that believe it or not, included ALL of my husband's "requirements". When God is involved (because He most certainly was) amazing things happen. This is just one special example of how God truly hears and answers our prayers. We made our move on the land and everything fell into place. Before we knew it we were signing our name on the (hundreds of) dotted lines.

While we were going through this process, we were still battling my infertility. I had people telling me that maybe we weren't supposed to have another baby right now and that we should just focus on selling our house and preparing the land. Yeah...that stung a little...oh ye of little faith.

I remember even saying in my prayers, why can't we have it all? Why can't we work on our dream home plans and add to our family? True, the situation may not be ideal but we both felt that the time was right and that we could have it all if the Lord allowed. He had already answered so many prayers. We truly believed He would answer this one.

I admit, it was not easy to keep the optimism. Month after month, meds and blood work, our dreams of another child were dashed. There were even a couple of months where my chart looked perfect and the timing of everything had been just right...I was certain we had been successful...but no.

Come October we had already met with our doctor several times to discuss various options. We knew what we were comfortable with and our hearts were getting heavy as we reached the end of our treatment. I had one more round available before we were done. No more treatment. No more blood work. We'd be moving on. We had decided that if this last round was unsuccessful, we'd focus solely on our house and then revisit our adoption paperwork. I was okay at that point. We had a plan.

October was a crazy busy month and I felt like we had so much riding on this last round. I was pumped to see that I had gotten a positive ovulation test. Game on! And then I came down with an infection. Knowing how delicate the whole situation of becoming pregnant really is, I had resigned myself to the fact that we were out this month.

On October 31st I was reminded that my God defines and defies the odds. If you look at my chart, it does not appear that I ever ovulated. Between that and my illness, science would say I should not be announcing the news that I am about to share...

WE ARE PREGNANT! Our precious miracle is due in July and we are over the moon!

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So yes, you can have it all. Your dreams can come true. For those of you battling infertility...don't lose heart. Big things can happen. At this point we're working on our house in preparation for sale. We plan to put it on the market in March (or sooner). All of this will take place while we also prepare to welcome our precious babe in July.

I look forward to sharing how we announced our news and what has been going since our BFP.

12 Books of Christmas: 2014 Selections

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It's hard to believe that Christmas is over and a new year has begun! This year holds so much promise but before we jump in, I'm still taking time to reflect on some of my favorite moments from Christmas and the things that have shaped and grown us over this past year. One of the things that I've been missing already are the traditions that happen in our home at Christmas.

The 12 Books of Christmas is one of my favorite traditions. Last year was fun, but this year was a blast. Everyday G asked for her book and could not wait to sit, open and read. These are such treasured moments. You can check out the list of books she received last year...The List.

Here are the books she opened this year...

1. If You Give a Dog a Donut
2. Little Owl's Night
3.The Little Christmas Elf
4. Giggle, Giggle, Quack
5. Charlie Goes to School
6. Bear Says Thanks
7. Busiest Firefighters Ever!
8. Just Me and My Dad
9. Someday*
10. Minerva Louise
11. You Will Be My Friend!
12. Room for a Little One

*My personal favorite from this year...

I'll soon be on the hunt for new titles as I purchase books for next Christmas throughout the year. What book titles would you suggest?

Linking Up with Annie from Home of Malones