Monthly Weight Loss Update

Well, August has been another month of maintenance. I still weigh less than I have in over 5 years but I still have a ways to go. It's definitely been a journey. 

September is PCOS Awareness Month and I'm no stranger to the struggles it can bring. I was diagnosed in 2011, although looking back the symptoms were evident even in my teens. Before my diagnosis I was unaware that there was a "real" problem. My symptoms were my "normal" and no one had ever told me different.  As a teen I was told things would eventually even out or that some things are just genetic. No to the first and yes to the second. While looking at me you would never guess the battles I face...this is true for most women with PCOS.

We get pretty good at wearing smiles. I generally pride myself in being open and honest but this is one area of my life that I've kept pretty quiet until recently.  In order for me to not deal with this alone and to offer support to others I've had to learn how to talk about it. One of the hardest things to talk about aside from our infertility struggles is that of my weight/weight loss.

PCOS...it makes it so much more difficult to lose the weight. My doctor sympathized and was pleased with my progress at my annual exam. She encouraged me to keep going...even though she knows I'm up against a lot. Unfortunately I have to work a lot harder than most at losing the weight thanks to the way my body breaks down the food I eat and produces insulin. This in turn causes various hormone imbalances that lead to weight gain and/or difficulty losing weight and in my case, infertility. There is always something out of whack.

However, I refuse to use that as an excuse. I know I need to amp up the exercise and continue adding more fruits and veggies to my diet...because when you hit a plateau, that means you are in need of a change.


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August held a lot of highs and lows. We made an offer that was accepted on a piece of property with a beautiful view. We'll be signing on the dotted line tomorrow and then we can really begin planning our forever home. This has been a wonderful distraction from the disappointment of yet another unsuccessful month of trying to conceive. From a health perspective, I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about our next step. I've also been checking with my insurance on what they offer in regards to a dietitian. I've found a local dietitian who has worked specifically with women with PCOS. I'm hoping something will work out. I feel like I'm at the point where I could really benefit from an expert's advice.

With all of that being said, I'm trying to make some changes this month. I'm not a huge snacker but I definitely did my fair share over this past month. I'm a stress eater and with work beginning again and some of the other things we've had going on...I've not always considered all that has made its way to my mouth.

Being at work has definitely helped with my snacking issue, but I also need to focus on snacks that work for me, not against me. One of my friends gave me a great suggestion for my sweet tooth. Chocolate milk is seriously one of my most favorite sweets. Milk, while good for you, can hold a ton of calories...and then when you add the chocolate...well, you might as well have just had dessert. She recommended I try dark chocolate almond milk. I've converted to almond milk and must say I really like it. I've used it in both my cereal and baking/cooking and don't notice a major difference and with the low calorie/high nutrition content, I feel good about my choice. Now back to the sweet stuff. The dark chocolate almond milk is A.MAZ.ING! It tastes delicious and for 100 calories I can enjoy a full glass without the guilt. (I've only tried the Silk brand...and I've not been endorsed to recommend it.)

I hope to have better news in my next weight loss post. I've got the reasons for motivation, I've just got to get my act back together. I've only got this one life. I need to live it right and care for the skin I'm in.

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What are some of your healthy, go-to snacks? I'm looking for grab and go...

Linking up with Home of Malones

Tasty Tuesday: Dinner and Dessert

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I debated back and forth about which recipe to share and I simply could not decide. I love both of these recipes and they've been people pleasers every time. I hope you'll enjoy them just as much.

Let's start with dinner...I can't get enough Chinese food but there are 3 major problems with that. 1. It's not cheap to frequently eat out. 2. We live so far from town that it's just not sensible or economical to drive out to town just because I've got a craving...and no one delivers out here. 3. The sodium and calorie count is through the roof!

Because of these things I've begun making some of my favorite take out at home. I've made this  recipe for Sesame Chicken several times and it always turns out well. I pair it with brown rice and veggies...yum! The original recipe can be found at Food.com.

Sesame Chicken

6 chicken breast, boneless, skinless and cubed
1/2tsp ground ginger
1/2c honey
1/2c low sodium soy sauce
2tbsp corn starch
1/4tsp red pepper flakes
1 clove garlic, minced
1tbsp toasted sesame seeds

On Medium heat a skillet that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Cook the chicken for about 10 minutes or until the pieces are no longer pink.

In a medium bowl, mix together the honey, soy sauce, ginger, garlic and pepper flakes. Pour over the chicken and mix well.

In the same bowl, mix together the water and cornstarch. Stir into chicken mixture. Cook until the sauce begins to thicken. Turn down the heat and simmer for another 5-8 minutes. Remove from the heat and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.

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While this dinner meal is super yummy, one can't help but get even more excited over dessert. I made these tasty treats for our Labor Day cookout and then again for a friend's birthday breakfast. Super easy and delish!

I originally found this recipe for these amazing Deep Dish Fruit Pizzas at Banner Boutique. I made a few tweaks and couldn't have been happier. Everyone loved them and the recipe was requested several times.


Deep Dish Fruit Pizza

1 package of pre-made sugar cookies (I used Pillsbury Ready to Bake)
1 pkg. (8oz) fat free cream cheese
1 container (8oz) of Lite Cool-Whip
2-3 cups of fruit, sliced (I used nectarines, strawberries, blueberries and kiwi)

Place one cookie in each cup of a 24 mini cupcake pan. Press down to form a shell. Bake according to package directions.

Allow to cool completely, remove and place onto your serving platter.

Whip together the cream cheese and whipped cream. Scoop into a gallon sized bag. Snip off a corner and pipe into the shells.

Place the fruit on top. Chill for about an hour (if you can wait that long) and serve.



Linking up with Green Fashionista...

If Today Had a Play List...

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It was one of those days...the kind where you catch moments. These are moments you live daily but for some reason today you become acutely aware of the "now". Today, those moments that made up my day seemed to bring song with them. Music has always served as an avenue of worship and self expression. Maybe it's God's way of bringing some healing to a heart that has been aching. Maybe it's my soul longing to reconnect. Whatever the reason, I thought I'd share the music that has made today's play list.

These songs either literally came to mind at the moment or later in the day as I was reflecting. It's possible these songs were meant to be shared today...from my heart's play list to your ears...

This morning I woke up feeling like I had just laid down. G did not sleep like normal and I can always tell a difference in both of us. The morning was beautiful and God's goodness was evident, even with my tired eyes. How deep is His love for me...

How Deep the Father's Love for Us-Selah

Driving into town midday the emotions of the week caught up with me. My husband had Scotty McCreery in the CD player. When I turned up the volume, this song came on...it was just the reminder that I needed...there is so much to be thankful for...even those things that to the outside world may seem a burden. I'm thankful for dirty dishes...

Dirty Dishes-Scotty McCreery

I came home, unloaded the groceries and got G a snack. She was in need of a nap after a long morning. I never get tired of those quiet moments in the rocking chair. I know some day she'll out grow my lap but until then I'll savor every moment. I've sung this song to her since she was in the womb...

Mother Like Mine-The Band Perry

I've had dishes and laundry staring me in the face all afternoon...but how can I say no to uninterrupted time with my toddling babe. She's recently found a love for dancing and why I sang this song to her I don't know...but it popped in my head and she thoroughly enjoyed dancing with Mommy in the kitchen...(and in my defense...I only sang parts of it and made up lyrics just for my girl).

Hey Ya!-OutKast

We made it through the afternoon without any meltdowns or glitches (other than I have been losing everything today...nothing has been where I thought I left it ::sigh::) We finally made our way to the couch to wind down before bedtime. She picked out a color for her toenails and while I painted her little piggies we watched some classic Winnie the Pooh and I admit, every time I hear that little bear sing this song it takes me back to my childhood...



The Little Black Rain Cloud-Winnie the Pooh

I had some personal moments today where that all too familiar sadness made it's way into my heart. I hate this ache...this song has been and remains a comfort to me when the "what ifs" arise...



Hope Now-Addison Road

As a new cycle begins, without any assistance this go around, I'm feeling pretty disheartened knowing that my body does not do what it's supposed to on its own. It's frustrating but I also know that it's a time like this that God could use to show His ultimate power. Only He can bless our home with another child and if I need to take this time to grow, wait, and continue to hope than I will. Whenever I find myself longing for what has yet to come, this song is usually in the back of my mind...even though I've yet to meet the one that I believe God will bring into our lives, it's as if I've already loved him/her for a thousand years...

A Thousand Years-Christina Perri

As the rain passes through this evening, I sit in a quiet house. My hubby has been gone for 3 days now and I eagerly await his return tomorrow. This last song came to me as I was trying to tidy the house. It encompasses so many good things that are my life. Despite my dreams and the hope I have for what may or may not come, I have been blessed...these blessings include an amazing husband, a home to call my own, a beautiful daughter, a career I love, and a God who never quits, never gives up on me, and provides all that I could ever need and more...He is truly the heart of my world.



Heart of the World-Lady Antebellum





Infertility Hurdles: It's All In Your Head

I mentioned the other day that I've felt really compelled to blog a series of posts on infertility hurdles. Needless to say, it's been a really tough week. What looked so promising ended up being a bust. Why is something that is supposed to be so "natural" so ridiculously hard?!

There are so many difficulties that lie within the realm of infertility. It is an all encompassing medical matter. The heart, mind and body are all impacted.

I thought I'd begin focusing on the mind. If you've been in the Land of Infertility for any amount of time it's likely that you've heard something like this...

"If you'd just stop thinking about it..."
"Once you stop trying..."
"Just relax..."


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You'll run into these well-meaning "best of intentions" at some point if you haven't already. It's only natural for our friends and family (and did I mention complete strangers) to offer advice on something they know very little about. They want to make us feel better...oh if they only knew how words can hurt.

A war begins to wage in your mind. You begin to question your self-worth, your ability to be a good mom, your choices, and your future. One of the biggest questions is "when will it be my turn?!" Unfortunately there is no cookie-cutter standard for a time frame. For some it's the first round of meds and for some it's never. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

With every baby shower invite, birth announcement, pregnancy announcement and trip into Wal-Mart you are bombarded with baby.

Unfortunately, it's not like the desensitization of children with video games. For those struggling with infertility, this constant exposure only makes the longing worse.

Not only do you question your time, but you frequently wonder how all of these people who, despite your desire to not pass judgment, can have kids that they tend to so carelessly. Why do drug users, abusers, teenagers, etc. get to bring life into this world when you have a loving, stable home in which to raise a child? It makes no sense...and that is something that sooner or later, you'll just have to accept. Tough stuff, but true.

You walk around raw. Broken. Struggling to hold onto hope.

Your life becomes a roller coaster of emotions. Your cry frequently and avoid certain social situations. You separate your times of waiting. It probably goes something like this...

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From personal experience, these thoughts and constant highs and lows, when not dealt with, can lead to depression. I struggled silently for the majority of our TTC journey. It wasn't healthy and impacted every area of my life. That's why, when we decided to TTC this time around, I knew I needed to do something different. I'm finding my voice.

There is no one thing that you can do to over come the sadness that comes from infertility, but you can do many little things to help yourself along the way.

-Talk about it. This is not easy for most but it is necessary. Maybe there is one person you feel you can trust. Possibly join a support group. Don't try to work it out on your own.

-Speak with your doctor. Make sure that your physician is aware of how you are feeling. They need to help keep this in check.

-Take mental breaks. Maybe you have a hobby or enjoy the outdoors. Find something to occupy your mind for even a moment...because lets face it, when you are TTC it is almost impossible to think about anything else.

-Journal. This was something I did faithfully. It's how I recognized (although after the fact) that I was dealing with depression. When your thoughts are penned to paper, they are no longer captive.

-Chocolate. Okay. This is not the best advice and I do kind of kid when I mention this one, but there is something about a moment with chocolate that makes the world seem momentarily right again.

-Cling to your faith. As a Christian, I did not fully rely on God to get me through that time. I admit it. I wanted to control something and while I could actually control none of it, I didn't turn to Him the way I should have. I was not in the Word faithfully, and I began feel like my prayers were rote as opposed to from the heart. I became numb. I didn't live what I truly believed. I lost sight of the fact that God is in control, that He has a beautiful plan for my life, and that His miracles take time. Delving into His Word helps to keep these truths fresh when Satan tries to tell us otherwise.

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I hope you'll find some comfort here, regardless of how you can relate. Remember it's not all in your head. What you feel is real. And maybe you are a friend of someone TTC. Use this information to your advantage.  Don't give advice. Don't pity. Be a friend. Be a shoulder. Pray.



Oh Hey Friday! Fall Favorites Wardrobe Wish List

It's Friday! The mornings and evenings here in Central Virginia have been so fall like that I'm starting to get the bug. Fall colors are my favorite...especially in clothing.

Based on my current (typical) wardrobe it's obvious that I'm far from any Fashionista but I thought I'd share a few of my fall favorites. I don't know if they'll make it into my closet this year but a girl can dream...

[Plaid]
I've always been a sucker for plaid...maybe it's my days of being raised on the farm or being married to a good ol' country boy, but I truly believe a lady can rock plaid. I'm a particular fan of this Plaid Flannel Pop-over shirt from Old Navy.

[Ginger]

I adore this Soda Fountain Dress in Ginger from ModCloth. Visions of brown boots and leggings are dancing in my head...

[Blues and Browns]

As a fading red head I love to accent my hair and eyes with colors that compliment both. Blues and browns do it every time...which leads me to love this Commit It To Memoir Dress from ModCloth.

[Boots]

I do not currently own a pair of boots...unless rubber or snow counts...and I thought these Hailey Jeans Co. Buckle High Heel Boots in Brown could do the trick.

[Gold n Gems]

This necklace from Target just screams fall to me. I'd love to add this to my jewelry box!

What would you love to wear this fall?

*I was not compensated in anyway to oogle over these items.*

Linking up with the Farmer's Wife



Thoughts for Thursday

The Washington Monument
January 2012

Is the weekend here yet?! It has been a really tough week here in the Land of Infertility. This was yet another "no go" month and it never gets easier. I've had to count my blessings over and over.

One of those blessings is my best friend. While we're at two completely different points in our lives she provides ample support and because she is "my person" she just knows what I need.

I bring her up to say that I'm super excited about visiting her. She lives in DC and G and I will be making our way there in a couple of weeks. I haven't been since 2012 (it was the first part of the year and freezing)  and there are several things we're looking forward to.

Laura and I at the Arlington Cemetery
January 2012

We've made plans to take G to the zoo and of course we'll scope out a cupcake shop or two. There will be coffee, laughter and some much needed down time. It will be such a nice distraction.

My primary prayers are safe travel for myself and the itty bitty as well as prayer that G will sleep in her new surroundings.

In other news,

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I hope you'll join us for this week's Thoughts for Thursday!

Linking up with Annie for Thoughts on Thursday



Cherry Pie Bubble Bread

I've tried several new recipes lately but this one I just have to share. It's like Christmas in a pan. Yes. Christmas in a pan. That is what I will call it.

I found the original recipe at The Taylor House.

I opted for this recipe for a work birthday breakfast. Big hit! I've already got my own personal Cherry Cheesecake version in the works. If it passes the test, I'll share it with you soon.

Ok...I digress. Without further ado, here is what you've been waiting for.

Cherry Pie Bubble Bread

3 cans of buttermilk biscuits,  quartered
1 can cherry pie filling
1tsp. cinnamon

Glaze:
1c. Powdered sugar
2Tbsp.  Almond milk (or your milk of choice)
1 tsp. vanilla

Preheat your oven to 350.

Quarter the biscuit dough.

Mix in the cherries and cinnamon.

Pour into a greased pie pan.

Bake for 30-40 minutes.

Cool slightly. While it's cooling, combine the remaining ingredients into a medium bowl. Mix well. Pour the glaze over the slightly warm bread.

Enjoy!

Linking up with Green Fashionista for Tasty Tuesday.