5 Ways to Beat Mommy Brain

I was watching a rerun of The Middle this week that made me laugh and empathize at the same time. The mother, Frankie, was constantly forgetting things, misplacing things and was feeling completely overwhelmed. She came to the conclusion that it was her family’s fault. They were constantly pushing their needs and wants into her brain. This forced her thoughts out. She could not remember things that pertained to her. It made sense. Even before N’s arrival at the beginning of July, I felt scattered. There were so many things that I needed to do, wanted to do and yet the items that I forgot seemed to surpass the things I would remember. I was focused on the needs and wants of those around me to the point that I did not feel I was being successful in any arena of life.



::via::

I’m not saying we should neglect the needs and wants of others by any means. Hello, I’m a mom and wife. It’s my job and heart’s desire to meet the needs of my family. I simply think there is a way to find a balance that helps everyone. In the episode, Frankie tried to solve her problem by holding “office hours”. It was only during these hours that she would address her household’s issues. For instance, if her daughter needed an appointment changed, it was at this time that she could speak to her mom and have the date moved on the calendar. If her son needed a ride later in the week, he could make his request at this time. This system worked for a short period of time but then fizzled out as pressing matters arose and weren’t being addressed. In theory, it was a beautiful system. She was remembering things and her home was returning to order…until they just weren’t anymore.

I’ve tried to focus on ways  that I could benefit all of us and maintain a sense of sanity and order. I’ll be returning to work in a few weeks and I want the transition to be as smooth as possible. So…here are 5 simple ways I've chosen to help me combat Mommy Brain.

1. A family calendar. Our family calendar is hung in the kitchen for all to see. Anyone who has anything coming up must write it on the calender. This ensures that others are aware of what is going on and it helps with scheduling.

2. A night stand notepad. I got this idea from a friend. If I wake at night, whether because I can’t sleep or because the baby is needing to be changed or fed, I can jot down ideas that come to mind. It may be something that needs to be on the grocery list or an activity I need to plan for. By writing it down I can reassure myself that I’ll have it for later.

3. Monthly menu. I make a monthly menu that hangs on our refrigerator. This takes the stress out of planning what is for dinner on any given night and because I shop at the beginning of the month (with the exception of replacing perishables), we have everything we need for every meal. You can read about how I make my monthly menu here.

4. Sticky notes. During the school year I live by sticky notes. I write just about everything down on them. They allow me to make my notes portable. I can also stick the notes in plain sight. That allows me to better remember what I need to do.

5. Relying on others. Both at work and at home it helps to ask others to help me remember things. Having an extra person to help keep me on track has been a sanity saver more than once.

I know a lot of people use their phone and other electronic devices to keep track of things. I do put dates on my phone’s calendar but I rarely rely on it to keep me on track. What other ways you save your sanity?

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Grow Baby Grow: Month 1

How is it possible that our sweet boy is already a month old?!

Weight: 9lbs 10oz

Height: 21 inches

Clothing size: newborn and 0-3

Eat: 3-4oz every 2-4 hours

Sleep: About 3 hours at a time through the night. You are most awake during the morning hours. You enjoy several naps throughout the remainder of the day.

Play: You adore your sister. You watch her and listen to her as she speaks or sings to you. You do pretty well during tummy time and you are warming up to bath time.

Odds and Ends: You are becoming quite strong and can lift your head pretty well. You move yourself around on your play mat and try to turn to your side. You are a major snuggle-bug. Unlike your sister, you like to be swaddled and insist on being held. You are starting to make little coos and hums when you are happy and content.

At about 2 weeks you stopped nursing. You absolutely refused no matter what I did. Despite pumping, my supply has drastically reduced and you are primarily on formula.

You occasionally take your Wubba pacifier but are not reliant upon it to be soothed. 

We are so in love with you. Your red hair and blue eyes remind us so much of your sister and your temperament is so chill (unless you are hungry or need your diaper changed.) You are our perfect little prince.

You've not had many adventures yet, but you will.

Linking up with Mommy Moments



Family Heirlooms

In this day and age of waste and want, it does not seem that things maintain sentimental value anymore. There are several things that have been or will be passed on to me that I treasure and I hope to instill the same type of sentiment and appreciation in our children. I was treated to such a family heirloom when my mom came to visit after N was born.

 

She gave me a sweet little blue outfit that was crocheted by N's great, great grandmother for my dad. This little treasure is made up of a bonnet, booties and jacket. While it is a little frilly for what most male children would wear today, this 59 year old piece of history looks like something that would be made for a prince.

The crochet is intricate and the blue color is so soft and subtle. I was able to capture a couple of photos of N wearing it. Had I waited much longer I'm afraid my little guy would no longer fit. I love that I will be able to pass this down.

 

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Becoming a Big Sister Isn't Always Easy

When we found out we were pregnant in October 2014, we were elated! Our soon to be 2 year old of course had no idea what this meant and could honestly care less. Once she turned 2 in April, it seemed everyone was asking her if she was ready to be a big sister. She would just look at them with her big blue eyes and smile.

We tried to give her plenty of big sister practice. We encouraged her to care for her babies, read big sister themed books, referred to her as big sister, and constantly tried to help her connect with the baby growing in Mommy’s belly. We thought we were making positive progress. We knew she was a big help at the sitter’s house. She ensured every child had his/her pacifier, she knew everyone’s diapers and would get them as needed and helped clean up. She was a big helper both there and in the church nursery.

In my mind, her transition into big sisterhood would probably go one of two ways. One, she would immediately take on the role and become a big helper. Two, she would resent not being the only child anymore and have a difficult time with the change. I honestly thought she’d handle it with a lot of grace and would transition pretty effortlessly. Silly me.

I read the articles and we tried to ensure that G’s first meeting with her new little brother would be as positive as possible. We arranged for her to sleep over at her sitter’s house, which worked out wonderfully. She was brought to the hospital the next day and we had intentionally set up everything just so. I was not holding the baby, but instead had her Big Sister bag ready and I was prepared with open arms to take what would surely be my daughter’s excited hug. Instead, she walked in and was very unsure of me. I was not hooked up to anything but I’m sure my appearance, the odd bed and strange surroundings had her thrown off. She did not come to me right away (which of course broke my heart) and had limited interaction with me during her time there. I was personally devastated and had a good cry after they all left.



It was a miracle that we got her sitting there...but once again, look at her face...



This interaction lasted a whole 5 minutes

 She also wanted nothing to do with her new little brother. To anyone who went to touch or hold him she would firmly say, “No, don’t touch it!” Poor guy. She did not even call him “baby”. To her, he was “it”. She clung to her daddy and interacted primarily with the other family members present. Mommy and baby brother were of little interest to her.



G telling Granny not to touch "it"

I did at least get a kiss goodbye and she did give N the fox that she had picked out for him, but that was about it. That night was hard on this Momma. I was ready to be home, snuggle my daughter, and meld our family into its new number. I was not sure how we were going to make this transition.

She came to the hospital the day of discharge and was a little friendlier. She was much more accepting of me and would occasionally allow the baby to sit with her. I felt a little better. I just so desperately wanted her to warm up to him. I encouraged her to help me with him as much as possible.

Within the next couple days of being home, she quickly opened up to him and began taking on the big sister role that I had hoped she would do all along. She has since become quite the care taker and ensures that he has his bottles (which she likes to shake), his blanket, his pacifier and she frequently asks to hold him. I’m one happy Mommy.

Looking back, there are things that make me a little sad. I had such dreams of getting super sweet pictures of our new little family. I wanted those first memories of sister meeting brother to be sweet and loving. I wanted to capture our new family of four in warm embraces, staring lovingly at our newest addition. However, none of this occurred. I was reminded that toddlers are unpredictable and ours in particular is strong willed, not as flexible/tolerant of change as we’d hoped, and has a fiery spirit. I love these things about her, despite the opposition they sometimes contribute to. I believe those same characteristics will be the things that cause her to fight fiercely for what she believes in, stand up for her younger siblings, and make change where she believes change needs to be made. I love her. She is an amazing big sister and my precious daughter. She is my first love. She made me a mom. She helps to make me better.

Since then, I've worked on healing my body and catching up on sleep (yeah, right). This week I took G out, just the two of us. I have to admit that it was really nice. I loved sharing that time with her. We played and laughed like we did before. It is my hope to continue these Mommy-Daughter days. I never want her to forget just how special and loved she is. As N gets bigger, I'm certain we'll be sharing some special days as well. This time with our littles goes by so fast...

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Baby N's Birth Story

Birth stories, to me, are testimonies of miraculous life events. They are examples of love, empowerment, and a humbling dose of real life. I loved reading birth stories as sources of encouragement leading up to my own delivery and I've been looking forward to sharing my own. I shared a brief recap of our daughter's birth story when I first began to blog in June of 2013 and now the time has arrived to share another.

Both of our children are truly miracles. We battled against infertility for both of them and it was only through God's blessing that they were conceived. I've grown to embrace our struggles with infertility because they have made us that much more grateful for our children and they have brought us blessings that we would not have otherwise experienced. I share all of this to preface what I consider a beautiful story. To some it will probably not seem very significant. To some it may even seem a bore, but to me, it is a treasure. It is our story. It is the (lengthy) story of how our son entered the world.

There are many reasons why I consider our son's existence miraculous and each milestone during my pregnancy was a reason to rejoice. One issue that I combatted throughout the course of my pregnancy was hypertension. I dealt with this during my daughter's pregnancy as well and I was well versed in what that could potentially mean for me come time for delivery. It was my hope to have our son naturally and without an induction. I feared what an induction could mean and I was already at a higher risk for a C-section for various reasons and I did not want to add to the likelihood. I watched my sodium intake, took my meds and worked hard to keep my weight gain at a minimum (under the supervision of my doctors.) I was proud of having only gained 17lbs during this pregnancy and I was feeling good about things as my due date neared. However, about 6 weeks prior to my due date, my doctors discussed the probability of an induction based on my rising/inconsistent blood pressure numbers and the impact it was having on the baby. I must mention that my doctors only discuss induction if medically necessary, thus I knew it was serious.

37 weeks

Around 37 weeks we decided that we would induce at 39 weeks (July 5) unless something more serious occurred . Upon a quick check, we learned that I was already at 3cm and 50% effaced. Based on the early arrival of my daughter and my current numbers, my doctor did not believe that I would make my induction date...and she ended up being correct.

My husband was due to return to work on July 1. I was secretly praying that the baby would either come before that day or not make any major changes until the day of our induction. We live almost an hour from the hospital, he works about an hour from home and I could not wrap my head around trying to get our toddler taken care of and work my way to the hospital without him...although one would do what she must. I woke up the morning of June 30th feeling what I thought might be contractions but they were only occurring about once every hour (beginning at 6a.m.) I never even knew I was contracting with my daughter so I was not sure what I should be experiencing. By around 1p.m. I was pretty certain that I was feeling contractions and I began timing them. They were happening about every half hour. By 2p.m. I was experiencing them about every 10 minutes. My husband took my blood pressure and it was also elevated...both were signs that our doctor had told us to look for and call if they happened. I contacted Labor and Delivery and they told us to go ahead and come in.

We dropped our daughter off at the sitter's house. She would be staying with her at whatever point we were admitted to the hospital. The "pains" I was feeling were very mild and I almost believed they would probably send us home. After all, I wasn't doubled over and my water had not broken. We arrived at the hospital and I was examined. I was making a bit of progress despite the monitor only picking up what appeared to be cramping. My doctor was convinced that I was in labor and wanted to go ahead and admit me based on my blood pressure. I was still 3cm but was now 75% effaced. She did a membrane sweep and that really helped to get things going. My contractions steadily became stronger but still manageable. At around 5:30p.m. we were officially admitted, had contacted our sitter, had met the staff  members that we would be working with through the rest of our labor and delivery and had settled into our room.

My first labor and delivery were very quick, especially for a first timer. From start to finish it was about 7 hours (4 hours of which were actually active labor, with only one of those hours being the actual transition phase) with about 7 minutes of pushing. I did not have medication of any kind and had every intention of doing it the same way with this delivery. Things don't always go the way you plan...

After about 5 hours of strengthening contractions, they checked my progress. I was only at 4cm and 80% effaced. What?! Are you kidding me?! I wanted to cry. I settled in again and knew that I needed to try and get some sleep, especially since there was nothing that seemed to be speedy about this labor. Of course, my contractions continued to pick up and I became more uncomfortable, so as my husband slept, I tossed and turned, attempting to remain comfortable.

At 1:10a.m. my water broke...and it hurt! I was not expecting the pain and I called out to my husband telling him what had happened. We buzzed for my nurse who came in immediately. I told her that I was certain my water had broken and as I shifted, the flood gates opened. I knew what this meant. Based on my last delivery, once my water had broken, my contractions almost immediately became more intense and delivery was just around the corner.

The next day...

As my contractions quickly became much  more painful and closer together, I readied myself. I was going to do this and I just knew that my son was moments away from greeting the world. They checked me after about an hour and I was only at 6cm. I wanted to cry. Why were things progressing so slowly?! After some time I had to make a decision. I was physically and mentally exhausted from having worked through so many intense contractions (they were coming about every minute to minute and a half). I could not imagine how I was going to muster up the strength to deliver our baby. I opted for an epidural.

Because of the intensity of my contractions, it was a little more challenging to place the epidural but the anesthesiologist was amazing and with the help of my husband and nurse, I was eventually hooked up and good to go. It took a bit for the meds to kick in and I only had what was necessary to take the edge off of the pain. I could still move and I could still feel pressure. After the epidural was placed, I was checked again. This time, I was at a 9 and about 90% effaced. However, N was not tolerating the contractions and was showing continuous signs of distress. My doctor and I discussed what that meant and what may have to happen if he was not delivered in the very near future. I prayed for him to move down. I prayed for my cervix to fully dilate and I prayed for his health and safety as the minutes ticked by.

A little after 4:00a.m. my doctor wanted me to do a couple "practice" pushes to see if we could get him to lower since he was still not stationed where we needed him. She told me that at any point she told me to stop, it was because he was where he needed to be and she needed to get the remainder of the delivery team in there. Within two contraction, she told me to stop. The team rushed in and within what seemed like seconds they had everything ready to go and it was time to bring our baby into the world. I pushed for about 3 minutes and our son graced our lives at 4:15a.m.

I soon learned that the reason he was not tolerating the contractions was because the cord had been wrapped around his neck 3 times. Praise Jesus for keeping our sweet boy safe. He was perfect. He had a beautiful cry, strawberry blonde hair and the sweetest little face. He was immediately placed on my chest and eventually his daddy got to cut the cord. For the next hour we lay skin to skin. I soaked in the surreal moments as the fact that we were now a family of four began to sink in.

While I know words can never convey the true emotions that are experienced during a time like this, I am so glad to be able to share my heart. I consider our family to be abundantly blessed and to our Lord I will forever be grateful. The past few days have been trying as we adjust to new (lack of) sleep schedules, living around the needs of an infant and trying to balance and plan intentional time with our toddler. However, I cherish it all, for I know this too shall pass and our babies will grow up too fast.

Linking up for Mommy Moments, Tuesday Talk and Thoughts for Thursday

Name Them One by One

One thing about caring for a newborn means that I'm awake...a lot. It may be in a drone like state most of the time but I'm awake nonetheless. In the daybreak hours the past few days I've been doing a lot of reflecting on our current circumstances and how God's hand is evident everywhere. It's easy to get wrapped up in worry, bogged down in bitterness and caught up in self-centered thoughts. It's even more easy to do when your sleep deprived. Satan is shameless and will use your weakened state to wedge in negativity. However, we have the power to combat the battles against us. God gives us the ability to see the beauty from ashes if we'll only take the time to look.

::via::

I've been taking some time to really focus on our blessings. With so much that is and seems wrong in the world around us, it's vital that I remember that there is still so much good. The following is not an exhaustive list of all that I could write down, but it covers some of what has come to mind this morning...

-the birth of our son this week

-the fiery spirit that is our daughter

-financial provision

-Our church family

- dedicated friends

-my mom coming in tomorrow

-awake to see the sunrise

-Finding large ticket items (for baby) for less than half the orginal price

-caring and committed medical experts

-the biliblanket  (it means we can treat our son's condition at home instead of the hospital)

-July is filled with birthdays

-my amazing husband

While I could go on and on, I'll spare you. I do hope, that despite your circumstances today and in the coming days, that you'll take some time to count your blessings. Name them one by one and I think you'll be amazed at what the Lord has done.

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Life is Full of Surprises

The past few days have been a whirlwind! I have so much that I can't wait to share with you, but for now, I'll share the most exciting of it all...

Our sweet boy made his surprising arrival in the early hours of July 1st. He is perfect and we are so in love. I'll share his birth story soon!

8lbs 1oz
20.5 in 

Baby N appears to be another redhead :)

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