Infertility Hurdles: The Men That Love Us

Infertility is vicious. It can rock the foundation of even the strongest relationships...primarily marriage. It's not easy for our good men to go through the journey with us, but the great ones stick it out, hold our hands, let us cry, cry with us, and live out love everyday despite their frustration.



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It's a miracle that my husband still hangs around the house.

I've been enlightened over the last few months. When we began to TTC again, I knew things would be hard...but I didn't realize I'd be battling the ghosts of my past. The same emotions plague my heart. The same thoughts bounce around in my brain. The same tears fall...and through it all, my husband has proven himself amazing...again.

I was determined to not have us fall into the same rut. The last time "doing the deed" became "mandatory" when a positive opk showed itself. The romance faded. The spontaneity was gone. Let's be honest, after months of trying and disappointment, the magic disappears. It's not something you mean to happen but it will quickly become an issue if you don't keep things in check.

In an attempt to keep things fresh, I didn't tell my hubby when ovulation was imminent.  Just a couple months into this new journey, I decided to initiate some romance. I kid you not...the first words out of my husband's mouth were, "does that mean you got a positive test?" Ouch. At that moment I realized I had conditioned my husband. He was fertility trained. It still stings a bit but after discussing some things with him, I now have a better understanding.

From my hubby's perspective, he sincerely wants to know. He wants to walk this journey with me and he wants to be aware of what is going on. I didn't realize...

After talking with a few friends, I've grown to have more of an appreciation for the men in our lives that walk this journey of infertility with us. (Please keep in mind that my husband has been medically cleared. The issues lie in me. I know this is not always the case. Male infertility is a very real issue but I can't speak to that particular situation.)

Just like anything else, men will respond in different ways. After discussing this matter with several people, I've compiled a short list of some common emotions and responses that the men in our lives have regarding our infertility journeys.

-Helplessness: Men are fixers. It's hard for them to see us cry, pray and hope only to be disappointed time after time. They want to make things better and feel helpless when they can't change our circumstances.

-Angry: Men become angry with themselves, their spouses and friends. They are angry with themselves because they can't help us. They don't fully understand and become overwhelmed. They become angry with their spouses because of the demands placed upon them. They become angry with friends, not necessarily at them, but at their more fortunate circumstances.

-Overwhelmed: Men too can become overwhelmed with the financial, emotional, physical, and mental demands of infertility.

-Tired: Like us, they get tired of schedules, demands, our hormonal rollercoasters, etc.

-Indifference: "If it happens, it happens." "If it's God's will..." "We can't rush these things." They take the stance of "no worries".

For more insight, take a look at the "7 Words that Describe Infertility from a Male's Perspective."

My husband has said that the hardest thing for him is to see me hurt and to know that there is nothing he can do. Oh honey. You do so much. I am so grateful for all of the time, money, and energy that you contribute to our dreams. I thank you for your endless love and support. There is no one else that I'd rather walk this journey with. Be sure to thank your man for the good things...even if it's just one thing. They need to know we need them.

More from this series:

Infertility Hurdles: It's All In Your Head

 

Also linking up with Home of Malones for Thoughts for Thursday.

Crockpot Chicken Taco Chili

I am all about Taco Tuesdays and I'm always looking for festive new recipes to add to my recipe arsenal. This past week was another successful new recipe and I just had to share.

With fall coming soon, I've started to pull out a soup recipe or two. This recipe for Chicken Taco Chili will be a definite go to. I found the original recipe at Table for Two. You'll see that I changed things up a bit, only because I used things that I already had in the house.

If you're looking for something super easy and super good, pull out your crockpot and come along with me.

Chicken Taco Chili

Ingredients:
1 16oz can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 16oz can red beans
1 16oz can tomato sauce
12 oz bag of frozen corn
1 can fire roasted tomatoes
1 packet low sodium taco seasoning
1/2tbsp ground cumin
1/2tbsp chili powder
1c. low fat sour cream
1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese, plus some for garnish
3 frozen, boneless, skinless chicken breasts

Mix together all ingredients in the crockpot, minus the chicken breast.

Place the chicken on top of the vegetable mixture and push down until the pieces are covered. This ensures that they get cooked through without drying out.

Set your crockpot on high and allow to cook 8-10 hours.

Remove the chicken breast and shred or dice. Return it to the soup and mix. Add in the sour cream and cheese. Mix well allowing the cheese to melt.

Top with extra sour cream and cheese if you'd like.

This was a full meal in itself, but I'm sure some type of garlic bread or grilled cheese would pair nicely as well. Enjoy!

Linking up with Green Fashionista!

Also linking up for the first time with Tuesday Table.

Mama Mondays: A New Link-up

I was invited by Les to join this adorable link-up and I've finally got a quick moment to get some blogging done. While it's no secret that I've struggled with infertility in the past and that I am once again facing the same issues, I find comfort among friends. Les knows the same ache and now she knows the joy. God's goodness abounds. I'm joining her for Mama Mondays to celebrate the blessings (and yes, even the mommy fails can lead to blessings) we have in this life.

Seeing as I have several blog posts that I hope to accomplish this week, I'll keep this first new link-up post short as to not give too much away for upcoming posts.

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I visited my best friend in D.C. this weekend. It was the first trip G and I have taken on our own (as in vacation) without my hubby. It was a success. I wanted to share a couple of my favorite pictures from the weekend (you'll be able to read more about our trip soon).

G and her Aunt LaLa enjoyed some girl time while walking through the zoo.

This picture makes my heart just melt. She was captivated by the animals and look at her stance...it's possible she's taking after the flamingos that she has seen in other exhibits...

I hope you'll join the link-up.

The Liebster Award!

A couple days ago I was honored (and very excited) to receive a nomination for the Liebster Award. I admit that at first I was not sure what this award was, but quickly discovered that typically bloggers with followers under a certain threshold (somewhere between 200-2000) are nominated. I want to send a huge shout out to the lovely lady and fellow blogger who nominated me for this award...drum roll please...Thank you Sarita! You can read more about her beautiful family and fantastic finds at It's a Girl's World.

 

 

 

The fantastic thing about this award is that it is meant to be shared. But before I get to that, first things first...

 

Here are the rules for receiving this award
1- Each person must post 11 things about themselves
2- Answer the questions from the person who nominated you and create 11 new questions for those you nominate
3- Nominate 5-11 of your favorite bloggers and link them in your post
4- Go to their page and tell them
5- Thank and link back to the person’s blog who nominated you"

 

About Me

1. I have never broken a bone.

2. I served as a camp counselor for three years. It was during that first summer that I met my best friend and in the same summer, met the man that would become my husband.

3. I am a sucker for romantic comedies.

4. I am a cupcake snob. I know, I know. A bad cupcake? Really?! Yes. I make a point to try out local cupcake shops/bakeries whenever we travel. While my opinion doesn't actually matter and I'm not a paid authority on the matter, I have had success in selling both my cupcakes and cakes in the past and I believe I know a good cupcake when I taste one.

5. I have dozens of half done home projects currently staring me in the face.

6. I have been called to work with kids and teens. Almost every aspect of my life includes one or the other. I teach first grade, co-teach the 2 and 3 year olds at my church and help lead my church's youth group.

7. I would love to say I am well traveled, but alas I am not. I am however a big dreamer.

8. I love to bake and cook. My passion for food and fellowship will play a vital role when we begin building our new home in the (hopefully near) future. The layout will include an open floor plan ideal for entertaining and of course, every baker's dream, a double oven.

9. I've always been an animal lover, which is why we now have 2 cats and four dogs.

10. Upon looking at my daughter's baby book, there was an entry written before her birth. It was a "wish list" of sorts. I wrote that I would love for her to have my red hair and blue eyes while sporting her daddy's eye lashes and dimples...God must have read those words because she is all that and more...talk about custom orders :)

11. Chocolate milk and Moose Tracks ice cream...enough said.

What Sarita Wants to Know...

1. What's your favorite book? A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers. This book is based on the life of Esther. This story is captivating and while I've read the others in the series this book was my favorite and continues to leave its mark on my heart.
2. Your favorite thing about fall is...The annual fall festivals and orchard trips with friends.
3. What's your most used thing in your closet? My black shrug
4. What is your biggest pet peeve? People who "know it all"
5. Your makeup must have is? Mascara, thanks to fair eyelashes
6. What's the TV show you're most excited for in the fall?  Well, it's not a show...but it is good television...FOOTBALL!
7. What's your favorite vacation destination? Anywhere tucked in the mountains
8. If you had a most used tip (either household/cooking/beauty), what is it? Prep meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) the night before when possible. Having your lunches packed and dinner items prepared makes more time for family and less rushing and hassle.
9. If you had to choose someone to play you in a movie, who would it be? While we look nothing alike, I adore America Ferrera
10. What fashion trend are you NOT into this year? Neon...I just can't do it. As a pale redhead, neon has never been kind to me...
11. Your favorite flavor of ice cream is...Moose Tracks

What I Want to Know...

1. How long have you known your best friend?

2. What is your go-to meal for unexpected guests?

3. What is your favorite fall scent?

4. What is your favorite season?

5. What would you consider to be your greatest achievement at this point in your life?

6. What immediately annoys you when it occurs?

7. How comfortable are you driving in heavy traffic?

8. What is one thing on your bucket list?

9. What song, when you hear it, always makes you feel better?

10. Do you keep a journal?

11. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

 

 

And the Nominees Are...

 

Shay at Creating Our Family Tree

Lindsey at Vapor and Mist

Lindsay at A Little Bit Western

The Zimmermans at Life Unexpected: Our Journey to a Family

Britini at Smooth Stones

 

I've enjoyed taking the time to answer and ask questions. I hope you'll check out my nominees and also visit It's a Girl's World.







OHF: Labor Day Weekend Highlights

We had a busy but wonderful Labor Day weekend. I was a bit worried since G got sick at the sitter first thing Friday morning.  By the end of the day she was feeling better and I got to start my long weekend early.

Here are a few of my favorite things from the weekend...

[The Zoo]
My friend and I took our girls to the Natural Bridge Zoo. It's not very big and can easily be done in 1-2 hours, which was perfect for her three year old and my one year old.

[Local Eats]

We stopped in Lexington for lunch. We ran across this cute eatery. The food was delicious and the service was great.

[Redo]
Operation "Ready to Sell" is underway as we begin some odds and ends that will get our house ready to be put on the market. I started repainting the bathroom this weekend. My goal is to have it finished by the end of the week.

[In the Box]
Our new Co - worker's birthday was Tuesday so I put together a little box of goodies over the weekend. It was a mix of teacher survival and birthday fun. It included chocolate,  aspirin, antibacterial wipes,   decorative duct tape, chapstick and birthday glasses. The other 1st grade teacher picked up a gift card and the box was complete.

[That Face]
Every moment with this little one is so precious to me...oh how I wish I could slow down time.

Linking up with The Farmer's Wife

Monthly Weight Loss Update

Well, August has been another month of maintenance. I still weigh less than I have in over 5 years but I still have a ways to go. It's definitely been a journey. 

September is PCOS Awareness Month and I'm no stranger to the struggles it can bring. I was diagnosed in 2011, although looking back the symptoms were evident even in my teens. Before my diagnosis I was unaware that there was a "real" problem. My symptoms were my "normal" and no one had ever told me different.  As a teen I was told things would eventually even out or that some things are just genetic. No to the first and yes to the second. While looking at me you would never guess the battles I face...this is true for most women with PCOS.

We get pretty good at wearing smiles. I generally pride myself in being open and honest but this is one area of my life that I've kept pretty quiet until recently.  In order for me to not deal with this alone and to offer support to others I've had to learn how to talk about it. One of the hardest things to talk about aside from our infertility struggles is that of my weight/weight loss.

PCOS...it makes it so much more difficult to lose the weight. My doctor sympathized and was pleased with my progress at my annual exam. She encouraged me to keep going...even though she knows I'm up against a lot. Unfortunately I have to work a lot harder than most at losing the weight thanks to the way my body breaks down the food I eat and produces insulin. This in turn causes various hormone imbalances that lead to weight gain and/or difficulty losing weight and in my case, infertility. There is always something out of whack.

However, I refuse to use that as an excuse. I know I need to amp up the exercise and continue adding more fruits and veggies to my diet...because when you hit a plateau, that means you are in need of a change.


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August held a lot of highs and lows. We made an offer that was accepted on a piece of property with a beautiful view. We'll be signing on the dotted line tomorrow and then we can really begin planning our forever home. This has been a wonderful distraction from the disappointment of yet another unsuccessful month of trying to conceive. From a health perspective, I'm waiting to hear from my doctor about our next step. I've also been checking with my insurance on what they offer in regards to a dietitian. I've found a local dietitian who has worked specifically with women with PCOS. I'm hoping something will work out. I feel like I'm at the point where I could really benefit from an expert's advice.

With all of that being said, I'm trying to make some changes this month. I'm not a huge snacker but I definitely did my fair share over this past month. I'm a stress eater and with work beginning again and some of the other things we've had going on...I've not always considered all that has made its way to my mouth.

Being at work has definitely helped with my snacking issue, but I also need to focus on snacks that work for me, not against me. One of my friends gave me a great suggestion for my sweet tooth. Chocolate milk is seriously one of my most favorite sweets. Milk, while good for you, can hold a ton of calories...and then when you add the chocolate...well, you might as well have just had dessert. She recommended I try dark chocolate almond milk. I've converted to almond milk and must say I really like it. I've used it in both my cereal and baking/cooking and don't notice a major difference and with the low calorie/high nutrition content, I feel good about my choice. Now back to the sweet stuff. The dark chocolate almond milk is A.MAZ.ING! It tastes delicious and for 100 calories I can enjoy a full glass without the guilt. (I've only tried the Silk brand...and I've not been endorsed to recommend it.)

I hope to have better news in my next weight loss post. I've got the reasons for motivation, I've just got to get my act back together. I've only got this one life. I need to live it right and care for the skin I'm in.

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What are some of your healthy, go-to snacks? I'm looking for grab and go...

Linking up with Home of Malones

Tasty Tuesday: Dinner and Dessert

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I debated back and forth about which recipe to share and I simply could not decide. I love both of these recipes and they've been people pleasers every time. I hope you'll enjoy them just as much.

Let's start with dinner...I can't get enough Chinese food but there are 3 major problems with that. 1. It's not cheap to frequently eat out. 2. We live so far from town that it's just not sensible or economical to drive out to town just because I've got a craving...and no one delivers out here. 3. The sodium and calorie count is through the roof!

Because of these things I've begun making some of my favorite take out at home. I've made this  recipe for Sesame Chicken several times and it always turns out well. I pair it with brown rice and veggies...yum! The original recipe can be found at Food.com.

Sesame Chicken

6 chicken breast, boneless, skinless and cubed
1/2tsp ground ginger
1/2c honey
1/2c low sodium soy sauce
2tbsp corn starch
1/4tsp red pepper flakes
1 clove garlic, minced
1tbsp toasted sesame seeds

On Medium heat a skillet that has been sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Cook the chicken for about 10 minutes or until the pieces are no longer pink.

In a medium bowl, mix together the honey, soy sauce, ginger, garlic and pepper flakes. Pour over the chicken and mix well.

In the same bowl, mix together the water and cornstarch. Stir into chicken mixture. Cook until the sauce begins to thicken. Turn down the heat and simmer for another 5-8 minutes. Remove from the heat and sprinkle with toasted sesame seeds.

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While this dinner meal is super yummy, one can't help but get even more excited over dessert. I made these tasty treats for our Labor Day cookout and then again for a friend's birthday breakfast. Super easy and delish!

I originally found this recipe for these amazing Deep Dish Fruit Pizzas at Banner Boutique. I made a few tweaks and couldn't have been happier. Everyone loved them and the recipe was requested several times.


Deep Dish Fruit Pizza

1 package of pre-made sugar cookies (I used Pillsbury Ready to Bake)
1 pkg. (8oz) fat free cream cheese
1 container (8oz) of Lite Cool-Whip
2-3 cups of fruit, sliced (I used nectarines, strawberries, blueberries and kiwi)

Place one cookie in each cup of a 24 mini cupcake pan. Press down to form a shell. Bake according to package directions.

Allow to cool completely, remove and place onto your serving platter.

Whip together the cream cheese and whipped cream. Scoop into a gallon sized bag. Snip off a corner and pipe into the shells.

Place the fruit on top. Chill for about an hour (if you can wait that long) and serve.



Linking up with Green Fashionista...