Mommy Guilt? Not this time!

There were a lot of things that I allowed myself to worry over and feel guilty about when I first became a mother in the Spring of 2013. I’ve been determined to free myself of these thoughts and feelings now that we’re expecting our second in July. I’ve realized that our decisions have not all been perfect but our daughter is no worse for wear. If I must say so myself, she’s turning into a pretty amazing little kid.

As moms, we place so much weight upon our own shoulders. We compare our parenting choices to those of others and we often question ourselves. Ultimately, I’ve learned that the important thing is to own your choices.  So this time around, I own our choices; I’ll change as needed and embrace motherhood with a whole new perspective.

Here are a few things that I will not feel guilty about this time around…

Breastfeeding vs. Bottle Feeding

I’ll be honest. I was not thrilled about the idea of nursing. Of course I loved the benefits, but it was not something that I was jumping at the bit to experience. However, it was and remains my goal to provide the best that I can for my children, and of course, breastfeeding serves as one of those things. I gave it my best try. I worked diligently with the lactation consultants at our hospital and I did what I could to provide for my daughter in this way. Maybe it was my frustration with my limited supply or the constant feeding every hour to hour and a half that killed the “beauty” of this natural experience. About a week and a half into our newborn’s life, I was only getting about 1-2 ounces after pumping both sides.

Our daughter was waking every hour or so with her "hungry cry" and we could not figure out why…until it was suggested that we supplement with formula. I discussed this with my pediatrician’s office and they encouraged me to give it a try. The result? Our baby began sleeping for about 3 hours at a time and was finally putting some weight on. We soon learned that my PCOS diagnosis not only impacted our ability to get pregnant, but it was also impacting my milk production. After 3 months of pumping and attempting to nurse, I was barely getting enough milk to cover the bottom of a bottle. I gave up. We went exclusively to formula. I have a lot of friends who have had wonderful experiences and great success with nursing. I was not one of them. I allowed myself to feel less than I was because I could not nurse my baby. I was even prepared for a lecture from our pediatrician but instead, she reaffirmed our decision and praised us for making such good decisions for our daughter. It was at that point that I owned my decision to formula feed and I didn’t look back.

October 2013

Disposable vs. Cloth Diapering

I’ve toyed with the idea of cloth diapering for a while. I thought about it prior to our daughter’s birth and I’ve revisited it this time around as well. I have seen those who thrive with the cloth diaper system and my dear friend has walked me through all the steps and has provided some fantastic information. The reasons why I should are many, but ultimately, it just isn’t the best fit for our family…at least not at this time. 

March 2014

Working Mom vs. Stay At Home Mom

When it comes to this topic, there are two things I am personally sure of. I am called to be a mother and I am called to be a teacher. I would not be serving my God to the best of my ability if I gave up either one of these things. Sure, there are many days that my heart breaks to drop G off at the sitter, knowing that I’ll be gone from her for the next 8 hours. Sure, I feel like I miss out on time with her. Is that a good feeling? Of course not, but I can’t deny my calling. I truly believe that I am doing what I am called to do and I am doing what is also necessary to provide for my family. I don’t always like these circumstances, but I love my job and I love my daughter. It’s been a struggle at times to find a good balance, but overall I believe we’ve found that. To those who can stay at home with their babes, there are days I envy you and appreciate the love and care you invest in your children. Likewise, i commend the mothers who choose/must work outside of the home. We all do what we must to provide for our children.

April 2015

Me Time

Me time is very limited and it's primarily my fault. The control freak in me feels that I need to do it all. This is something that I continue to work on and will try to be more willing to accept as we enter into this new journey. I know I should not feel guilty about needing some alone time, but I do. I've also learned however,  that it is very important to my overall well being. My goal is to become okay with letting others help a little more and allowing myself to relax.

While I understand that these can be hot topics for some, these are simply the choices that we’ve decided to make for our family. We all do what we can and pray that it’s enough. Above all, I want our children to know that the decisions we've made throughout their lives have been made with careful consideration and love.

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