Peace.
A single syllable word that has the ability
to hold more promise than its five letters can simply convey. We want it. We
hope for it. We need it.
God promises it.
I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord.
Over the last month I have dealt with
levels of anxiety that I have not experienced in quite some time. The sweaty
palms, quickened heart rate, nauseated stomach, social situation avoidance…the
symptoms are many. Nothing about these moments have been peaceful. I fight a
continuous battle between what I feel and what I know. My sour stomach
constantly reminds me that I am not at peace. The nightmares remind me that my
world has been shaken. The flashbacks bring tears that I wish I could stop
crying.
This is real life. Not only am I
working through all of this, but there is the rest of “life” that I am forced
to deal with. It is quite overwhelming.
Peace.
I want it. I hope for it. I need it.
God promises it.
God is peace. He is Jehovah Shalom.
Too often I think we find ourselves
living in the “what ifs”. What if this happens? What if that goes bad? What if…what
if…what if…the possibilities of “if” are endless. I imagine Satan rubbing his
hands together as a cruel smile crosses his face with each “what if” that sends
us further and further into a spiral. Because of our sin nature, we naturally gravitate
toward the negative. We tend to find the worst in situations. We imagine the
worst, even if it is unlikely to happen. We let the “what ifs” get the better
of us. The more “what ifs” we cram into our hearts and heads, the less space
there is for peace to reside.
We are not meant to live this way.
In order to allow God to move in our
lives as Jehovah Shalom, we have to make a conscience effort to adjust our
thinking. We have to not immediately jump to the negative or what if. Is this
easy? No. Necessary? Yes.
I have been continually seeking God
in prayer. I have been writing scripture on my heart for when my anxiety begins
to arise. Am I always successful? No. But I am making progress. I’m trying to
allow God to penetrate my heart with His peace. I am trying to let His words
reverberate in my head. It’s a process. This peace extends far beyond just the
ache that I have been dealing with over the last month. It is relevant for the
present and will be beneficial in the future. I’m learning how to fully accept
His peace while working through my feelings.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said, “for you are very precious to God. Peace! Be encouraged! Be strong!” As he spoke these words to me, I suddenly felt stronger and said to him, “Please speak to me, my lord, for you have strengthened me.”
Despite my best efforts, there will
always be things out of my control. However, the One who holds my life in His
hands is the One who is in control of everything. He is my God. He is my Peace.
He is Jehovah Shalom.
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!
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