It Hasn't Always Been This Way

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."

Colossians 4:2

I look at the beautiful, messy life before me. I flip through the pages of our family calendar and admire the upcoming special events penned on various dates. My joy overflows. April 19th is highlighted and marked on all personal calendars. This is my daughter's birthday.

Several years ago I was told that I may not be able to have children. This struck fear and ache in my heart as we continued to investigate my condition and eventually begin the battle against infertility. We sought a second opinion, completed various tests, discussed multiple options and prayed continuously for God to fill my womb with a child.

There were times when those prayers seemed like they were being unanswered. I often mistook His silence for "no" or distance. In reality, He was saying, "wait". I struggled during that time to let go and let God write our story.

In 2012 He gave us the surprise of a lifetime. He answered our prayers with a "yes". The following April, our beautiful daughter entered the world. We would eventually face the same struggles, fears, and frustrations as we attempted to provide our daughter with a sibling. However, I had a better understanding of the process and my faith had grown in a way during our last journey to conceive that allowed me to sincerely wait upon the Lord.

When people see pictures of our little family, they offer sweet compliments. They comment on how "lucky" we are to have two children, especially one of each (why that matters?). I don't see any of this as luck. I see a couple, desperate in their pleading, who learned how to wait upon the Lord. The family photos they see before them are not how things have always been. There was a time when we did not know if we would hear the pitter patter of little feet.

During our journeys to gaining these little lives, we learned how to pray...not just how to request our hearts' desires to God, but how to listen for His responses. We learned to be watchful. He taught us to continually look for other blessings in our lives instead of solely focusing on what we wanted but didn't yet have.

We also learned to be thankful. He taught us to be thankful for each other while we waited to fill our home with a child. He taught us to be thankful for the daughter that was more beautiful and precious than we could imagine. He taught us to hand over our fears of pregnancy loss and delivery when things became abnormal.

We carry these lessons with us. As a mother, I continue to pray for our children, both presently and for their futures. I continue to watch for the blessings that God pours over our sweet family. I also continue to be thankful. When the days are long and the nights are even longer, I rejoice in all that He has done. It is amazing how being thankful, listing those blessings and claiming God's goodness can make a person stronger and more brave in the face of weariness and worry. Write Colossians 4:2 where you can see it daily and remember to...

Pray. Watch. Give thanks.

Waiting on Wednesday

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Mommy Momments