Battling Infertility in the Wake of Baby Season

If you're new to R&R you may be wondering why there is a post on infertility in the midst of all these baby posts. This my friends is because I am no stranger to the struggle of infertility. In fact, our two babes are complete miracles and it was only through God's grace and the help of modern medicine that we conceived. My journey is not to be compared to anyone else, but instead, it is my hope that it serves as a beakon of hope for others on the same road.

If you're interested in reading more about our journey,  you can find that here.

::via::

This post has been in the making for the last couple weeks. As I was driving down the road the other day I realized that I'm currently in the midst of a baby boom. Several friends and family members are pregnant or have recently had a baby. I found myself in awe of this baby season and it dawned on me that just a few years ago I would have handled this season much differently.

When you are in the midst of an infertility battle, typically every pregnancy and birth announcement is like pouring salt into an open wound. So. Much.Pain. You dread or even avoid baby showers. Your heart aches as you make hospital and home visits, if you can even muster up the courage to do so. You wear a brave face as you fight your battle and you may or may not be open about your challenges. Regardless,  this season is like a long, dark seemingly endless winter.

I handled the times leading up to the conception of our two children very differently. For the first I was closed off and quiet. I avoided those I loved, I unintentionally damaged friendships and lost sight of the good that was still in my life. It was a dark time. When we began trying for our second I was much more open and sought support. It was hard but there were glimmers of light.

I just want to remind you that you are not alone. Whether you seek support through online blogs such as this or with close friends and family, it is essential to have a sounding board. Very few people outside of the infertility circle will understand your sense of loss, frustration and pain. They will try to emphasize with the ache but until a person has experienced it, there is no real way to truly understand. You'll be given advice and well intentioned "words of encouragement" and some of it will hurt. Take it with a grain of salt and don't focus on what has been said.

Allow yourself to grieve. Whether you've miscarried or have had multiple failed cycles, there is sense of loss. I think it's actually more fair to say that you may be experiencing continuous waves of indescribable emotional/physical pain...you somehow tread your way through until the next one.

You'll fight jealousy. It's a beast. Never forget that infertility is happening to you; it does not define you, and as I've learned, the experience and how you handle it will
 mold you.

I wish you the best in your journey and I want to encourage you to seek the good things that are still in your life as you wade through the season of little ones everywhere. These times come in waves and with each passing one you can either find a way to become stronger and rise above your circumstances or you can drown. Don't go under. I, along with countless others are here to offer you a life line and provide a safe place for these times in your journey.

Be brave. Be blessed.

Linking up with...

Waiting on...Wednesday

and
Thoughts for Thursday