for this He came...

A steady rain patters against the window. Dawn's early light is stifled by the clouds, heavy with life giving moisture. My cold stricken husband sleeps soundly in the arm chair while my thumb sucking, blue-eyed babe nestles close. Her breathing is rhythmic...perfect. These moments are so rare. So precious. The house is dark save the colored lights of our Christmas tree and the faint gray of morning slipping in through the blinds.

I sit still. Afraid to ruin the moment.

As the tree sparkles and shines with lights, bobbles and memories from years gone by, I become overwhelmed with a sadness...a heartache. The last couple of weeks have brought so much loss to those I love. These brave, faithful hearts mourn while trying to keep face during this joyous Christmas season. Again, my heart breaks. I think of the expectancy of celebrating a first Christmas, much as we are this year. Our answered prayer, our strawberry-blonde miracle, will be learning how to unwrap gifts, become familiar with our favorite Christmas carols and will hear the Christmas story of Christ's birth. Her 8 months of life on this earth will be reflected upon and her delight in all things new will be captured in freeze frame. Even though our journey to her existence was not easy, I feel guilty.

I sit here in the quiet. A nudge of understanding touches my heart. God knows. He knows how I, as a fixer, would love to heal the wounds...ease the ache. He knows how I want to collect those tears and cast them in the ocean to be forgotten. Such is not real life. His Word reminds me that there is a time for joy and a time for sorrow.

I consider these faith-filled families brave, courageous and beautiful. In their own ways, they are accepting God's plan and finding ways, through Him, to cope and carry on. As I reflect on Christ's birth and the importance of His coming, I am struck with a humbling thought. God gave willingly. He willingly sent His Son to a world that would hate Him. It would reject His Gift. It would turn against His sovereignty. He gave anyway.

These moments...these quiet, humbling, awe-inspiring moments are why He came. He came to grant peace, to bring comfort, to instill joy and to remind us that our lives are not hung on a balance. They are nestled safe in the hands of a mighty, powerful, compassionate and merciful God. He turns sadness to dancing. He provides manna in the days of desert wandering. He serves as a pillar of Light along life's dark walk ways.

These truths...these beautiful God given truths take hold of this guilt that I unnecessarily harbor. They crush the lies that attack my soul, that would strangle my thankfulness and instead, rekindle my gratefulness anew. I have been given a powerful tool that allows me to help intercede for these hurting hearts. I can pray for their comfort, their peace and their healing. I am not left defenseless against these moments of sorrow.

This song by Bebo Norman has been replaying in my head for the last week. I hope you will take a moment to meditate on God's goodness and lift your eyes to the Maker, our Calmer, the Healer...lift your eyes to Him. You are why He came...

If you look for Me wholeheartedly, you will find Me.

Jeremiah 29:13