Living Well

"I don't really want more time; I just want enough time. Time to breathe deep and time to see real and time to laugh long, time to give You glory and rest deep and sing joy and just enough time in a day not to feel hounded, pressed, driven, or wild to get it all done-I just want time to do my one life well."

 

(from One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp)

 

Time to do my one life well. I feel as though time passes through my hands like water and I keep grasping, only to be left with droplets as reminders that my hands once held it. I watch my little girl grow before my eyes. Each day brings new wonder and new discoveries. Her fascination with life continues and it's as if I can see her soaking up the world around her.

 

For so long we dreamed of her existence. We prayed daily for God to fill my womb with the gift of life. As time passed and what we thought was "wait" turned into our perception of "no", we began embracing the idea that maybe God had something else for us. I remember the moment my tears of longing and sorrow turned into tears of joy. For so long we prayed.

 

Now that she is here, I desperately long keep her little. Small. Dependent. And yet I look forward to her first words. Her first day of school. Coloring books and crayons. Sleepovers. And yet I'm reminded that from the time her first breath was taken in this world, my responsibility to grow her, to educate her, to help mold her into a woman for Christ has begun. I am left asking myself, "how can I teach her to live this one life well?"

 

The first thing that comes to mind is prayer. I continually pray for a fortress of protection around her body and soul. I pray for her future friends and boyfriends (eek!). I pray for her future husband. I continually pray for the Lord to already begin preparing her heart for salvation. I pray for wisdom for her daddy and I. I pray that we will seek His will in her raising and that we will provide solid examples of what it means to love, fear and count all things joy in the Lord.

 

The next thing that comes to mind is to live by example. How can I teach her to savor God's goodness when I drink from a half empty cup? How can I encourage her to seek after the heart of God in all things when I sulk in self-pity and anxiety. Tonight, in this quiet house, I am left staring at my demons, these things that cast a shadow over what once was a ray of beautiful, radiant light. My journey to reignite joy, to live in His grace and to count every God-breathed moment with thanks has opened doors that I had hoped to have lost the key. Facing my hurts, my fears and facing them with God instead of my mortal tunnel vision is an everyday act of intention. It. Is. Necessary. I see God moving, however slow, through this process with me. All of this will make me a better mother, a better wife and a more vibrant example of what Christ can do with a life.

 

The last thing that comes to mind tonight is His Word. God uses scripture to pierce our hearts and enlighten our minds and souls. Truth is life. It is light in darkness. It is foundational to Christ-centered living. It brings comfort. It brings peace. It brings restoration. In order to live this one life well, we have to know how we are called to live it. God provides explicit instructions. We are to live intentionally.

 

Aim to live this one life well. Change is constant and so are the hours in a day. It's how we approach them both that makes all the difference.

 

These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

John 15:11