Is it too early to take a personal day?

While the following post contains circumstances that are far from big world problems, it does contain a day that would have served me much better in bed.

I managed to get out of the house this morning without having to change anyone's clothing. That was a big deal! I then made it to the sitter's and dropped G off right on time. I was heading down the road, minding my own business, when a school bus pulled up to a stop sign at a road I was approaching. I was clearly visible and more than close enough for a slow moving vehicle to just sit tight...but NO! This crazy school bus pulls out right in front of me. Good thing I wasn't sneezing and my blinks were timed just right, otherwise it would have been a bad day for all of us. I gathered my frustration and focused on making it to the gas station in one piece.

Once at the gas station I pumped my gas and decided to treat myself to a breakfast sandwich. I walked into the store and placed my order. Upon coming up to the register, I could not find my debit card. I began mentally freaking out. I was trying to remember the last time I used it. Did I leave it in a pair of pants at home? Did it fall out in the diaper bag? And the list goes on...I could not recall where on earth I had put it. Fortunately I had some cash and paid for my breakfast. Upon getting back to the Jeep, I began rummaging through G's diaper bag in an attempt to locate my debit card. Any guesses where I found it? In my pocket. It dawned on me that I had used it to pay at the pump for gas. ::sigh:: I was totally embarrassed and sat in my vehicle for a few minutes just shaking my head. I just kept praying that this would not set the precedent for the remainder of my day.

The rest of my day was dotted with forgetting things, dropping things, and lots of sighing. I'm pretty sure my hormones are still completely messed up from pregnancy. I've also been pretty weepy today, which is not normal. All I wanted to do was pick up G and get home. Upon arriving home, my precious hubby had put a pizza in for dinner. Of course he picked the supreme pizza. I do not like this particular type of pizza, and not to sound ungrateful, but I opted for mediocre leftovers. I thanked him many times for the attempt. (This pizza was bought for him to eat on his days off.)

I'm now at home while my hubby is up at my in-laws. He took G to see them for a bit so they could get their grand baby fix. I sat for a few minutes in the chair and shed a few tears. Women are so weird. Why do we do that? C kept asking what was wrong prior to leaving and I really don't know. I do know that sometimes, as a female, we just need a good cry. Anyway...I began feeling silly just crying in my empty house so I decided to be productive. Just a few minutes before sitting down to type this post, I put the baby's bottles in to soak and swept/mopped both the living room and bathroom floors. I figured this would be more beneficial that sitting around having my mascara run.  I'm looking forward to my hubby and baby coming home in a bit, some much desired snuggle time for all, and a few moments of adult conversation with the love of my life.

"Be still, and know that I am God..."

Psalm 46:10a

And the walls fall down...

Another Monday is under my belt. The day went pretty quickly and I'm now home with my beautiful baby. She is sweetly sleeping at the moment, which is rare for this time of night. I still can't believe she turned 4 months old today! While in the grand scheme of things this is merely a drop in the bucket, it is still hard to fathom that she is now this old. She has grown and changed so much!

Speaking of changes, I got a call from my mom today. She called to say that the old farm house that I grew up in was torn down some time recently. This causes a lot of mixed emotions to surface. This was the house where some fond childhood memories were made. It is also the house where I had to grow up way too fast, tears were cried, fears were faced, and forts were made.

Over the years this home became a house I no longer recognized. My parents divorced when I was 8. After a while, my mom, sisters and I moved out of the house and into a small house in town. The farm house became an every other weekend, 6 weeks out of the summer home. Happy childhood memories became few and far between for us in that house. Some of the best times there centered around building forts out of random materials found around the farm.

The walls in that house had many stories to tell. One of their last would be the sudden, unexpected passing of my dad last year. Sometime after his death, family went through his things and that's where it pretty much ends. The sentiments regarding the demolition of my childhood home are bittersweet.

I pray our children have countless fond memories in our home. I pray their memories are filled with love and kindness. Even now we try to ensure that our home is a safe place for the heart, soul and head to rest. May God bless and always be the center of our home.

Sauce on Sunday

Normally, you would find me worshiping with my fellow brothers and sisters at our church on any given Sunday morning. Unfortunately, I woke up not feeling the best today. I'm pretty sure it's my sinuses. To add to this very rainy day, G ha been fighting naps all day. Even as I type this, she is making it well known that she is a "fighter" and will not give in to the sleep fairy's beckoning without a battle. Someday she'll welcome a nap...like when she has her own daughter who refuses to nap while she fights a headache. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

During one of G's more mellow moments today, I decided to try my hand at some homemade enchiladas. I generally take a lot of short cuts with this dish, simply because my energy level by the end of the day is next to none and I want to use what I have left to spend time with my daughter. As a side note, I am pleased to say that thanks to "night before" prepping, I am back to cooking the way I did before G was born. Ok...back to the enchiladas.

I've decided to call this recipe Cast Iron Enchiladas.

Begin by gathering your ingredients.
You will need:
For the sauce...
1.5 tsp cumin
.5 tsp chili powder
1 tsp garlic powder
salt
pepper
15oz tomato sauce
1c chicken stock (low sodium)
15oz can of black beans, drained and divided

For the tortilla wraps:
8 flour tortillas
1lb of lean, ground hamburger (chicken, turkey or venison)
4oz diced chilies
1c black beans
3c shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided

Salsa and sour cream for topping...and whatever else you'd like.

 

 

Begin by heating one cup of the black beans in some EVOO. Mash them. Add the tomato sauce and spices. Stir well. Add the chicken stock and heat through. Add salt and pepper to taste.

 

While the sauce is heating, cook your ground beef and drain any fat. Next add 1 cup of your sauce mixture and the chilies. Add a dash of salt and pepper. Combine and heat through.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Grease your LARGE cast iron skillet with EVOO. I had an epiphany during this step. I should have just made the sauce in the pan. Next time, I'll make the sauce in the pan and pour out what I'll need for other parts of the dish into a small bowl.

 

Cover the bottom of your skillet with a thin layer of the sauce.

Now the real fun begins! Lay a tortilla on your work surface. Spoon a generous helping of the meat mixture onto the tortilla. Add your cheese.

Roll the tortilla and place seam side down into the skillet.

Repeat this step until all of your tortillas have been filled.

Cover with the remaining sauce and spread a nice yummy layer of cheese over the top of the sauce.

Bake for about 20-30 minutes or until the cheese is melted and bubbly.

Dollop some sour cream and any additional toppings you'd like and enjoy!!!

 

 

It has taken multiple attempts to complete this blog today. Between laundry, an ornery baby, and a husband that came home super sick this afternoon, I've had a time trying to complete anything else. I will never complain however. This is just one of those days that I count as a blessing. I have my precious family and I am healthy and able. I can care for them when they need me and there are few better feelings than being wanted and knowing that you have what your family needs. I thank God everyday for this beautiful life. I continue to learn how to praise Him during the storms that pass by. I am blessed to know Him as my Savior and because of Him, I can face tomorrow. Have a blessed Sunday evening! 

The first of many finish lines...

While my 5k training is greatly slacking, I feel quite accomplished to have successfully completed this first week of school. I always forget just how difficult the first week can be. My darlings are becoming very comfortable very quickly. This poses all sorts of challenges, but it does allow me to see more of their personalities.

It was so nice to pick up G at the end of this day and see her beautiful smile. It melts my heart every time. We were able to spend some special mom and baby time with C at work tonight. These moments are so special to me. A while back I was given "If I Could Keep You Little" by Marianne Richmond, as a gift. I got super teary the first time I read it and G wasn't even here yet. I picked up those precious pages and read them to G before bed. I was determined to keep the waterworks to a minimum so that G would stay comfy through the remainder of the book. I then fed her and rocked for a bit. It is always so hard to lay her down for the night. I could rock her always.

If I could keep you little,
I'd keep you close to me. But then I'd miss you growing
into who you're meant to be!

 

 

I'm looking forward to C being home tomorrow. Our family time is truly a treasure. We have a few errands to run and then hopefully we'll get in some much needed r&r. At some point I plan to get a freezer meal plan together so that come September I can do some major cooking that will save me time this fall/winter. I've also GOT to get going on my 5k training. At this point I may just be power walking the whole thing. Right now the goal is to finish :) I miss being more in shape. I miss feeling (semi)comfortable in my skin. I've got to do some work physically and mentally so that I don't pass these insecurities onto my daughter. She will face enough as she gets older. I want her to love herself and see herself the way God sees her. He has made her in His image and I want her to be confident and secure in all that He has done...now if only I could take my wishes for her and live them out myself. One day at a time...

Time Trials

So today's theme has been all "time" related. It began with my alarm not going off. I woke up 30 minutes late thanks to my internal clock. My phone was plugged in, or so I thought...apparently it only had the appearance and instead of charging, the battery life was depleted and my phone died. Thankfully, I did wake up. I rushed through a shower knowing that I only had about 30 minutes before G would be waking up. I was dressed and had my hair done by the time she woke up. I fed her and enjoyed what was left of my morning with her. We got to the babysitter and I was out the door on my way to school. I managed to get my makeup on and felt a little bit better as the calm of my empty classroom took hold. This, too, was all too short. Our bell system is broken so somewhere around 8:45a the students started pouring in.

We are attempting a new schedule this year. I love how it looks on paper and so far it is working pretty well. With the exception of forgetting recess on the first day, I'd say the new routine has been pretty successful. The hours passed on and before I knew it,  my students were gone and remnants of the day stared back at me...cracker crumbs here, broken crayons there, lead-less pencils in the "sharpened basket" and a mound of papers to be filed...I texted my hubby and asked that he pick up the baby this afternoon. About an hour later, my room was much better off and I could see my desk calendar.

After stopping by the store, I got home in time to make a late dinner. My hubby had the grill going so I could throw on the bratwursts. I was feeling good. The meat was on the grill, the macaroni noodles were boiling away and my baby was sitting pretty with her daddy. I could not help but spend some precious moments talking with her and doing whatever it took to make her smile.

What seemed like seconds later (but was really MUCH longer) my husband reminded me about dinner. By this time I had the baby so he went to pull the links off the grill and finish the macaroni and cheese. Moments later he came into the living room with a look of defeat. I had let the bratwursts burn and the noodles were without water...I have not messed up a meal like this in...well...gosh...I can't remember when. I take so much pride in even the simplest of meals. It quickly became evident that my hormones are still on the fritz. I started to cry with the feelings of defeat and exhaustion. I have been running full force this week and it was at that moment that it all hit. Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

I'm also dealing with the fact that my baby girl will be 4 months old on Monday. While rocking her to sleep tonight, I kept going back to the day of her birth. While my time in the delivery room was quick and not typical of a first time mom, the moments are burned in my memory. I can still see the exact moment when they placed that beautiful baby girl on my chest. I remember my thoughts ("It's over! I'm a mom! Oh my word, she looks just like her dad!). I had 4 hours of "active labor" although I would only consider the last hour to be truly active. I pushed for about 7 minutes and at 1:33a the next morning, our lives were changed forever.

I think of the extra days in the hospital. I think of the every hour and half feedings for the first 3 weeks. I think of the 2 months I was able to nurse before my supply depleted (thanks to my PCOS). I think of the  3 1/2 months I was blessed to be able to stay home with her. I think of the precious hours I miss with her while I am working to help support our family. I think of the priceless, quiet hours of the morning and evening that I get to spend with her. I am in awe of the fact that our baby girl has been in our lives for 13 months and in our arms for almost 4 of those.

My heart is often heavy these days as I glance at her picture every chance I get, but my soul rejoices in every memory that I am able to share with her. I thank God for her throughout the day. I've never prayed for someone the way I pray for our child. There is something about the bond between a mother and her child that only the Lord can understand.

Time changes things...we are forever being altered by circumstances, both big and small, joyous and heartbreaking. I think the most comforting thing about the changes that time brings is the fact that God remains constant and present through them all. He never changes. He is forever present and forever working all things for the good of those who love Him.

"And we  know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them."

 

Romans 8:28

 

Just for Fun

Here is a picture of the sign given to us by my best friend for G's room. This has been a verse held close to both of us and represents various times in our friendship and in our lives. I treasure what this verse means for me and for my daughter's future.

 

 

We also have a life verse for G. We plan to have one to dedicate to each of our children. Here is the one that came to our hearts for our first born.

 

"For this child I have prayed and the Lord has given me the desire of my heart."

1 Samuel 1:27



First Day Flops...

Well, this school year has officially begun. The students returned today in full force. It's amazing how the school year transitions. Just three months ago we were saying farewell to a group of soon to be second graders. I had the honor of teaching them and watching them grow and (somewhat) mature over the course of the year. The cycle has come full circle as I now greet my fresh out of kindergarten class. It's amazing what a few months of structure and academic/social growth can do...I look forward to watching them blossom.

This morning went pretty smoothly all things considered. G became sick yesterday and had a low grade temperature last night when I laid her down. She woke up with her fever gone, but she had gained some new symptoms. Fortunately, my husband was able to stay home with her today. This morning was probably the hardest I've had since returning to work. It was almost impossible to bear the thought of leaving my sick little one at home. My heart ached to snuggle her all day long. I'm pretty proud of myself for not breaking down.

My husband called to say that he contacted the pediatrician and was able to put my mind at ease. The doctor has instructed us to keep an eye on her fever, should it come back, and just ensure that she is getting plenty of sleep and plenty of fluids. For now we just watch and wait. She's not 100% but she's still a happy little baby. She truly lights up my world.

After arriving at school, I quickly finished a few last minute things. My day was initially thrown off because our school bell is currently broken. The kids began coming in without any warning and I scrambled to make sure I was able to greet them and direct them through their morning duties. The majority of the morning was filled with procedures, practice, and "getting to know you" activities. We went over their schedule and things that they can expect throughout the week. As lunch time drew near, one of my students asked how much longer we had until lunch. I responded and continued to teach. A few seconds later, the same student said, "aren't we supposed to have recess before lunch?" AHHH!!! He was SO right! I had been completely caught up in what we were doing that I had forgotten about recess! In my defense, we have a new schedule this year. In the past, our recess has always been after lunch. This is clearly going to take some getting used to. Fortunately, we were able to go out with Kindergarten after lunch. Everyone was very forgiving.

This year will pose a lot of new changes...everything from administration changes to classroom routine. I look forward to many of these changes and I feel completely at peace about what lies ahead for me this year. I am finally starting to feel confident in my ability to do what God has called me to do and I look forward to serving Him in this way.

This year is also going to pose some new challenges. With a new group of students there are always things to work out and work on. This year will be no exception. I just continue to pray over my students and I sincerely hope that all interactions, whether students, parents, or staff, are meaningful and productive.

I've yet to get back to my 5k training (::hanging head in shame::) and with the exhaustion that I felt upon coming home today, the near future is not looking too promising. By the time I get home all I want to do is snuggle with the baby that I have missed so much all day long. You combine that with minor housework, dinner, bath, baby bedtime, etc. and the day is gone. I'm not sure how to find a balance...so if anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Speaking of bedtime, the morning will come far too quickly. Day 1 is done...mentally preparing for Day 2. The first week is always the hardest...

Camera in the Kitchen

Today was a rather successful "me" kind of day. G slept in until about 6a and then remained pretty content this morning. My hubby came home later in the morning and graciously took over with G so that I could do some things around the house. I was able to clean the bathroom, experiment with a new cupcake icing, and make a much desired homemade pizza. It's funny how these things would have been nothing special to accomplish before G was born, and now, these things are considered true accomplishments.

I thought I'd share a couple of the things I did today in detail (don't worry, cleaning the bathroom will not be included).

I'll begin with the cupcakes. I made my personal double chocolate cupcakes.

While they were cooling, I began work on the Salted Caramel Icing. I combined the ingredients into my sauce pan and brought them to a boil. After 2 minutes, the sauce was off the heat and cooling.

I then poured the salted caramel sauce into my mixing bowl. I added the powdered sugar. The only issue is that it needed to be thinned out a bit more...as the caramel continued to cool, the icing became thicker. I'll remember this for next time.

 

I then iced my cupcakes and added a chocolate drizzle. Generally, my cupcakes look much prettier. Due to time constraints and the thickness of the icing, I just spread it on. I would call this "rustic". I've learned over my years of cooking/baking that anything that does not turn out perfectly can be called rustic and I no longer have to feel bad about the appearance :) These cupcakes made their way to the fire department with my husband tonight. I commend them for all of their hard work. Sending in some cupcakes is the least I can do for all they do for others.

 

 

Once the cupcakes were done, I began working on what I would consider to be one of my favorite forms of comfort food. My mom made this particular homemade pizza when I was growing up. She made it for us a couple weeks ago when we were home and it just brought back that feeling of being a kid. My husband really enjoyed it and even requested it. While pizza is my favorite food, he only wants it on occasion, so it was kind of a big deal. While this pizza is nothing flashy, it does wonders for the heart and soul.

 

I began by browning my sausage. 

 While the sausage cooled, I began making the dough by combing the following: 1 cup of luke warm water, 1 package of fast rising yeast and two cups of flour (you will also need more flour to better handle it). The nice thing about this recipe is that you can use whole wheat flour or a combo for your dough and of course the topping selection is endless.

 I then kneaded my dough and formed my crust on a 9x13 baking sheet.

 My mom does not use pizza sauce in this recipe. Instead she uses a simple tomato sauce, which gives it the flavor that takes me back to childhood.

 I then added a thin layer of cheese and topped it with my sausage.

 

 I covered the sausage with the remaining cheese and baked it at 350 for about 35 minutes. The key is to bake it until your cheese is just staring to get that golden brown color. Enjoy!

 

I'm opting out of any lengthy thoughts tonight. I am just rejoicing in this day and the things that I was able to do. I have such a love of baking and cooking and to be able to do that and share it with others is more than enough.

 

 

Just for Fun

 

G and her daddy taking an afternoon nap before he had to leave for work.